Always Shout Fire
by AshtakRa
Summary: Kurt decides further investigation is needed regarding the Puckerman situation. He is both surprised and shocked to find his former nemesis brought low and how it changes them from team mates, to friends and perhaps...  Puck/Kurt minor Sam/Blaine slash
1. Chapter 1

Title: Always Shout Fire

Author: AshtakRa

Fandom: Glee

Pairing: Kurt/Puck

Warnings: Adult themes and set in season 2

Spoilers: Spoilers for up to Duets

Summary: _Kurt decides further investigation is needed regarding the Puckerman situation. He is both surprised and shocked to find his former nemesis brought low and how it changes them from team mates, to friends and perhaps..._

Chapter 1

"Puckerman's in juvie."

Kurt schooled his features and said nothing – sure it was believable and certainly the rest of Glee club did not question it but he was almost positive that was not the truth. He could ask Finn, the guys had patched up their friendship and surely he would know but looking at Rachel latched on to his arm Kurt thought maybe Finn had little time for anyone else these days.

Then the new kid walked in and all thoughts of Puck went out the window.

The next few days flew by, rehearsal – first his plans with Sam, then just himself and then with Rachel (by Gucci, who would have thought?) – but after all that when Kurt was at home, his Dad asleep – the lingering doubt crept in.

No-one had heard from Puck and as far he knew no-one had checked out the juvie story.

Going on-line it was a matter of only a few keystrokes to check if there had been a Puckerman sized crime spree.

Nothing.

Of course.

Grabbing keys and a jacket, not wasting time to put on the normal attire of several layers Kurt softly locked the door behind him and checked his phone for the address. This could be a really bad idea but he had to know.

Talking his way though the front door was more difficult than he thought, the little girl – Mary (of course thought Kurt) asked him about twenty questions before letting him through. He had only lied a little bit.

"He's on the couch," she pointed into the darkened lounge. "Leave the light off, it hurts his eyes."

Kurt obeyed, tentatively standing just inside the door and peering at the slumped form in front of him. He was awake, that much he could tell.

What the hell was he doing here?

"You shouldn't be here." The voice that echoed his thoughts was raw and filled with fatigue and missing the normal attitude. He had not emphasised any one word so Kurt couldn't tell if he was pissed at his presence or not.

"Huh," he went with nonchalance on his part, figured it was best. "An ATM... really Puckerman, that was the best you could come up with?"

"Almost everyone believed it though."

Again his voice was level, too even so Kurt had to decide if Puck was angry that they believed him a criminal or hurt nobody had checked. Normally he would just assume anger but this Puck laying down in the dark... maybe he was a little more human.

"I think they had other things to worry about." Kurt had meant it to be kind but he immediately realised the words could just emphasise Puck's worth to Glee, or the lack of it.

Puck huffed loudly and the room sprang into view as he turned on a lamp; it was dull but at least Kurt was no longer talking to a shadow – although now he could see the other boy he wasn't sure what was better.

His eyes, usually so powerful, were sunken and had dark rings underneath. They were red from fatigue or pain; Kurt couldn't tell. His skin was very pale, even in the low light – and his cheeks were hollow with those beautiful lips now cracked and dry.

Kurt paused as he considered if he had just thought of Puck and beautiful in the same sentence.

"You just gonna stand there staring or come sit." It was a command not a question so Kurt obeyed. Puck had been laying down but moved his legs around to make room; he had dark sweatpants on and a white T, surprisingly clean given his sickly appearance. Kurt concluded Mary was keeping him suitably presentable or maybe his Mom, wherever she was.

Careful to keep some distance between them Kurt leaned on the arm-rest, trying to make it seem he was trying to get a better look at Puck, which he kind of was.

"Like what you see Hummel?" The lecherous smile was there but it didn't reach his eyes.

Kurt rolled his own eyes and sighed dramatically. "Let me count the ways?"

"Ooh," Puck chuckled lightly. "To the depth and breadth and height your soul can reach."

Kurt's eyebrows lifted in amazement and he chuckled in return. "Should have figured Puck would know the Bard."

The boy in question leaned forward, almost invading Kurt's pre-determined zone of protection.

"That's not Shakespeare." He stated it flatly and made it clear there was no argument on the matter. Kurt was even more surprised, he had thought it was but now he thought about it could not think of any play it would come from.

Deciding to leave it be Kurt fingered the hem of his jacket nervously then cleared his throat. "You want to tell me what's going on?"

"First tell me why of everyone at school, in fact of everyone not family – you're here." Puck's voice held a little more emotion, it wasn't quite anger but he was definitely shaken.

"Okay," Kurt answered simply. "Shue said you were in Juvie."

"But you didn't believe it?"

"No, I think it is entirely likely you will end up there, kind of surprised you haven't already... just not for trying to steal an ATM."

"Don't think I could?"

Kurt smiled and refused to look Puck in the eye as he spoke. "You are an idiot most of the time but not stupid – no way are you going to do something that's sure to get you caught."

He felt more than saw Puck drop his jaw in mild shock. "Did the great Kurt Hummel just pay me a compliment?"

"I did no such thing Puckerman," Kurt quickly retaliated. "I didn't say you are smart, just not entirely," he floundered for the right words and noticed Puck was smiling cheekily, and this time it reached his eyes. "Fine," Kurt acknowledged. "Perhaps there is a brain lurking in that Neanderthal head that understands more than eat, kill, screw... probably in that order."

"Don't give me too much credit Hummel, just cause I couldn't manage any of the three right now don't mean I'm not thinking about it."

Kurt was almost certain that was meant to be sleazy but given Puck's poor condition it just came out sad. He decided it was only fair he answer the original question properly.

"I figured you weren't in trouble, not about that anyway," explained Kurt. "Then I wondered why Puck would want everyone thinking he was in jail – I figured you had to have something major going down and something to explain you being away for so long."

"And?"

"And here I am, checking up on you because while you may not want anyone knowing that even the biggest bad-ass in school can get the flu I can tell you from personal experience that unwanted concern is better than none at all."

"Yeah," sighed Puck. "How is your old man anyway?"

Kurt narrowed his eyes at Puck, tyring to decide if he was genuine or just trying to change the subject. Probably a little of both. "He's good, I just have to hide the salt and convince the local burger bar that if they serve him there will be a lawsuit."

"Bet you'd do it too," Puck said softly. Kurt nodded then thought carefully about this strange boy sitting across from him and why exactly he was here. He had never been this close to Puck before voluntarily and instead of their normal bickering they were actually talking like normal people. Puck was sick but Kurt wondered what his own excuse was. He'd come around because he was legitimately concerned for a team mate and thought if Puck had needed help he'd then be able to call Finn then leave it alone.

Its not like he owed Puck anything.

"Does anyone else know, I mean that I'm not in Juvie?"

"Um," Kurt thought about it but figured someone would have said something by now. "Guess not – I would have been here sooner but, well things sort of happened, without you to make our numbers the new guy joined Glee, and Shue said we could do duets and I thought with that bad dye job he maybe played for team gay so what better way than to sing together, so naturally I wasted no time approaching him and admittedly I may not have given him much choice, but hey, if he couldn't say no to me then Berry would eat him alive." Kurt knew he was rambling but since Puck had not interrupted he just continued and he'd been dying to tell someone all that had happened. "I had a whole list of possible 'non-gay' duets, just in case you know – I mean contrary to popular opinion I have learnt my lesson from the Finngate scandal-."

"Finngate?"

"Yes... well it sounds better than Faggygate." At Puck's continued look of confusion Kurt prepared to give a brief explanation, summarised as best as possible so as to continue the story.

"I was crushing on Finn."

"Ha, lusting more likely."

"Shut it Puckerman! My story so my words."

Puck held up his hands in mock surrender.

"My 'crush' may have been a little more 'Single White Female' than 'the Notebook' so when pushed to share a room with me, and maybe finding my unique style overwhelming Finn maybe sort of kind of called a few of my things faggy." Kurt looked away, no matter how many times he told it the pain was there and he had to compose himself; besides he just assumed Puck would mock him for being so precious about a stupid little word. "In front of my father, so Finn was kicked out and the whole 'merge households' was put on hiatus. Finn was in the wrong but I guess it was kind of my fault." Kurt stopped as he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Puck with surprise.

"He could have just told you no Kurt – he shouldn't have used that word."

"Really?" Kurt laughed a little nervously. "I seem to recall you having no problem throwing it around."

"I know," Puck shrugged and removed his hand. "I was a dick – and now I'm sorry." He held eye contact and Kurt couldn't help but believe him and question why Finn had found it so hard to say those few words and mean it.

"So moving past Finngate," Kurt decided he had to finish the story now because even though Puck had given no indication he wanted Kurt to stop, or leave for that matter, he was looking pretty damned tired and had yawned several times behind his hand. "Apparently singing a duet with another guy would be even greater social suicide than joining Glee, especially with someone as fabulous as me – so Finn convinced me to let the new guy go-."

"Sam."

"Yes, Sam... how did you know?"

"..."

"Right, kind of obvious I guess. Sam was actually quite a gentleman about it – I think he would have gone ahead with the duet regardless of what people might have done."

"Because of how fabulous you are."

Kurt pointed a finger at Puck. "You are so lucky that sounded more statement than question mister!"

Puck shrugged with what seemed a pleased smile on his face. "Neither, I was going more for sass."

"You failed."

"Maybe you should just continue your story."

Kurt tried to give Puck a 'glare of doom' but just could not manage it. "Fine, basically for the good of the club I split with Sam and decided to rock it for myself."

"Good, you went with your strength."

It was said with such a straight face Kurt found no way to properly respond and said nothing. He could have explained how absolutely awesome his performance was and how he was robbed of victory by Finn and Rachel taking a dive and giving their points to Sam and Quinn (who the hell were they kidding?) but Kurt felt it was unnecessary. He'd just send Puck the youtube link later... because of course he had it filmed.

"So," sighed Puck and moved about, seemingly unable to get comfortable and ending up putting his legs back up – resting his feet on Kurt's thighs. "How is Sam not singing with you better for the club?"

"Um," Kurt hesitated as he considered the feet suddenly in his lap. Puck didn't seem concerned so he let it go – he was so not giving him a foot-rub no matter how much he begged. "I will not destroy your brain by repeating Finn's logic-."

"Hell no! Nobody should ever endure that more than once."

"Right, we agree on something then... good. Um, well as I understand it we need Sam to win Nationals; especially now that someone is in 'juvie' – and apparently Sam would quit if he had to endure the shit from singing with me."

Puck said nothing but he pursed his lips and stared hard at Kurt, making the smaller boy shift uncomfortably. Suddenly a phone was in Puck's hand and he dialled without looking away.

"Finn," Puck announced when it was obviously answered. "You're an ass-hat." He hung up without breaking eye contact.

Kurt could not speak, had Puck actually just done that?

"So after all that you decided to come and check on your old buddy the Puckosaurus?"

"Urm," Kurt felt himself staring hard at the feet in front of him. For someone of Puck's bad-ass reputation and somewhat questionable hygiene (although Kurt had to rethink that having seen Puck in his home environment, clean and neat and non-smelling of funk) his feet were kind of cute. If feet could be cute. They were in proportion with the rest of the boy, not large but far from diminutive. The nails were clipped and the toes just slightly elongated with tiny tufts of dark hair on the upper sides. They were quite pale, but then Puck was very much paler now than his normal tanned appearance. The toes wriggled and Kurt realised he'd been caught. What had been the question? Oh yeah.

"Like I said Puckerman, I figured you needed someone to check up on you... even if you'd never admit it."

"Actually I'm really happy you did."

"You are?" Kurt looked sideways at the other boy – he seemed genuine but then he hadn't been like the Puck he knew all night.

"Yup."

Just like Puck though to expect that explained everything.

"So the whole stealing an ATM wasn't a ruse to keep everyone away?"

"Oh no, that's exactly what it was for."

"I'm confused."

"I doubt that," muttered Puck and shifted up, his feet disappearing from Kurt's lap but resting next to him on the couch, heels digging in under his thigh. Kurt felt himself missing their weight. "Look Kurt, I went into this thinking I wanted absolutely no-one looking in on me, I mean as if being surrounded by sympathetic do-gooders would make me feel better."

He looked at Kurt for a moment and winced. "Sorry, but I mean come on – when your Dad was first in the hospital you kind of told everyone to lay off."

"Yeah, I did." Kurt looked around the room and noticed a few more things. There were fresh towels folded neatly on the ottoman, a bucket, clean and empty he hoped, was tucked next to the couch. On the table was, and this was most out of place for Puck, a tea-pot with two mugs placed innocently next to it. In the dim light Kurt could just see the label from a tea-bag hanging from the pot – peppermint tea. On the second level of the table were half-a-dozen prescription canisters – the names too small to read.

"Well I thought I would be fine too, I mean I'm a stud and nothing should scare me."

Turning to Puck the blood drained from Kurt's face as he took in the other's appearance. He didn't just look sick, he looked really... sick.

"I finally stopped puking today but then could barely move from this couch, I'm so weak and so bored." He whined on the last word only which Kurt thought spoke highly of how he was coping. "And I was really regretting telling no-one... then you walked in."

Kurt dropped his eyes. "Its not just some flu is it."

A shaking hand took his and Kurt realised what a front was Puck was putting on. All throughout their talk and ever since he had arrived Puck had been different but Kurt figured it for just being sick – but now he realised Puck wasn't just feeling off. He was hurting, and he was scared and he was lonely.

Kurt knew that feeling all too well; he had seen it in his mother's eyes all those years ago.

"Its okay," he whispered, clasping Puck's hand and leaning in to the other boy. "You don't have to say it."

Puck shook his head, the tears just simmering in his soft brown eyes. "Its cancer," his voice broke on the last syllable and the tears fell.

"I think I'm going to die."

Tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

__

Chapter 2

_[Author's note: before we begin a huge thanks to the reviews and readers - wow! So many and in such short time and the reviews have been fantastic. I cannot promise a happy ending because I have not decided but there will at least be some humour (Aussie spelling, sorry) and not total angst and hurt. I really loved writing this chapter and getting my teeth into some other characters, which I must make clear are not my own - they're borrowed just for a little bit. returned in almost new condition. I apologise for not answering reviews but once started my OCD would insist I do all and one must have time to sleep and work - I simply say to all of you - fabulous people, you make my day all the better regardless if your words be few or many.]_

now to the story:

Last time: Kurt didn't believe that Puck stole an ATM and although he was distracted by the whole Sam and duets thing he went around to check and found that it was a lie and Puck was in fact at home and sick, after some friendly banter and Puck calling Finn an asshat Kurt found out Puck has cancer and might die... wow that's heavy.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

"Finn."

The tall teen only smiled once Kurt said his name and Kurt wondered for the hundredth time if Finn would end up a complete narcissist because they enabled him. All he had to do was give his goofy grin or do the whole 'I'm being mean but don't realise I'm doing it' routine to make it all okay.

It was not okay but Kurt had no energy to either buck the trend or ask exactly why Finn was here having breakfast with his Dad. Kurt had entered and only half way through his first coffee did he wake up enough to see Finn sharing a newspaper with his Dad; since they were not on the cartoon page Kurt figured Finn was just doing it to impress Burt.

"Hey dude," said Finn, full of his normal energy and happiness. Considering what had happened during the week with the whole Sam thing Kurt suspected much of his friendliness was an act – not even Finn could believe they could be back to being so affable without some serious talking first.

"Thought I'd come around to check on Burt... and you of course," he added hastily at Kurt's frown.

At least he noticed the nuances of Kurt's mood pre-full caffeine hit.

"That's so kind," answered Kurt falsely. "I was positive you'd be busy asking Rachel's Dads to stop holding hands lest a footballer somewhere lose their varsity ring."

"Kurt," growled Burt and Finn just frowned in confusion, probably trying to understand the reference.

"What!" snapped Kurt, then paused as he saw how upset and tired his father looked – the poor guy had likely thought Kurt would be happy to see Finn here. Good intentions and all that.

"Fine," muttered Kurt, sneaking a piece of cold toast. "Finn, I'm sorry... for the minor part," he said quietly at the end, hoping his father had not heard.

"That's okay," said Finn, his huge smile returning. The guy didn't even recognise a faux apology when he heard one. "I thought you might still be a little... upset – so I've come to invite you to come shopping with me and Rachel."

"Shopping with Rachel?" said Kurt blankly. "That's just nasty."

"Son!"

Breathing deep Kurt finished the coffee and quickly prepared another, he was going to need it. "What I meant to say is that I acknowledge your attempt at reconciliation in the spirit with which its given."

"Urm?"

"It means yes," said Burt, with a pointed look at Kurt.

After a few seconds staring contest with his father Kurt turned to Finn.

"What my Dad said – but if you think we're going to lumberjacks are us," he let his gaze go up and down Finn's outfit. "You are terribly mistaken about the level of friendship we still have."

KPKPKPKPKPKP

From: homosapienhomo

[by all that is sacred... doesnt she know what a shade is? This is torture with a capital B]

Puck chuckled at the text. He'd sent a message to Kurt earlier, and at the risk of being a skirt he'd thanked the guy for being here yesterday. They'd continued messaging since as Kurt's great shopping trip of doom (Puck termed that all by himself and thought it awesome, Kurt said it was mediocre and he needed to try harder) dragged on. According to Kurt the trip was Rachel's idea, and given her kindness following the duets debacle he had not bailed on the idea tempting as it was after enduring Finn and Rachel kissing.

Puck really needed to get the full story of everything that had happened while he was away – this duets thing sounded full of really decent gossip, not that dudes gossiped but what else was he going to do, watch re-runs of Dr Phil?

A running commentary had continued and it kept Puck in good spirits as he did some minor housework. His mom and sister were at work and little athletics respectively and he had nothing else to do – he'd actually got tired of Xbox in the first week.

He typed a response.

[suck it up. Ur makeovr queen yeah?]

It took a while for the next update and Puck was hanging some sheets up when it came in.

From: homosapienhomo

[at lunch, F mentioned u... think u should talk 2 him]

Puck leant against the clothesline and used the pole to ease himself to the ground as his legs felt weak. Kurt had a point but the thought of having to say it to someone again so soon made him sick all over. He'd managed a small breakfast but it churned as he imagined Finn's face when he told him – they were still not back to like they had been but he'd known Finn his whole life. He called his mom Mom – and vice-versa... it would be like when they'd told Mary and he never wanted to go through that again.

He held the phone against his face and concentrated on breathing. It hurt but a man can't avoid things like this – Kurt was right, Finn should know the truth.

Half-way through typing a response another message came in.

From: homosapienhomo

[sorry, itd b really hard huh? Do u want me 2... I dont mind]

It was tempting, really tempting but Puck shook his head. It was his problem and Finn deserved to hear it from him.

[no, job is mine. Can u bring them ovr aftr lunch?]

From: homosapienhomo

[okay. Ur really brave... sorry, kno thats little gay]

Puck smirked and felt himself tear up slightly, wondering if that was the fairie's intention – he figured Kurt could be devious that way. If he wasn't concerned about weeping on Kurt's shoulder yesterday then he was hardly going to be troubled by being called brave by another guy.

[c u soon] Puck sent and remained seated, considering how he would tell Finn. He loved the guy but getting him to focus and follow something as serious as this would be a chore, and what little strength he had this morning was being quickly drained.

Maybe if Kurt were here too then he could... Puck shook his head internally. He couldn't expect the guy to help him out too much, they were barely friends and whatever bond they had after yesterday was unlikely to continue; Puck knew he had a habit of screwing things up and this would be no different. Just thinking that made him think of Quinn and how he had ruined that, and he would have to tell her too and he would never meet Beth again and, oh shit.

The colours around him changed and the sheets buffeted in the wind, soft music started up and Puck's eyes rolled as he saw dim outlines of the people he knew projected on the sheets.

"Oh no," he muttered, remembering the doctor's warning too late – the special meds he took could cause hallucinations if he was stressed or over-exerted himself.

As the music turned to lyrics, somehow being sung by his Glee team mates he recognised the song and cursed watching Pretty Woman with his little sister last night.

"Not Roxette," he moaned before the vision took hold and Puck was lost to the delusion.

Puck's Hallucinatory Music Clip #1

__

'It Must Have Been Love'

Performed by Glee Club

_Lay a whisper on my pillow_  
_Leave the winter on the ground_  
_I wake up lonely, is there a silence_  
_In the bedroom and all around_

Santana took up the tune, for some reason also in white, which she never wore and a glint of... innocence? Even in his delirium Puck knew that was just plain wrong – but he did snigger that she appeared on a scarlet sheet:

_Touch me now, I close my eyes_  
_And dream away..._

the chorus almost made Puck pray for unconsciousness when Rachel appeared, fully decked out in the same hooker clothes as Julia Roberts in the movie; boots and all:

_It must have been love, but it's over now_  
_It must have been good, but I lost it somehow_  
_It must have been love, but it's over now_  
_From the moment we touched till the time had run out_

the next was voiced by Mercedes, her head only in half profile as she was fully diva'd up, in glistening jewels and a Diana Ross hair-do:

_Make believing we're together_  
_That I'm sheltered by your heart_  
_But in and outside I turn to water_  
_Like a teardrop in your palm_

_And it's a hard winter's day_  
_I dream away..._

as the music interlude carried on the guys in Glee danced across the sheets; Mike and Artie, Finn stumbling and falling and Kurt, in some shiny number with a dazzling hat that somehow maintained his masculinity – Puck found himself thinking that kid can dance and really looks fine... wait what?

The women started up again; their former angelic faces turning a little angry and making the lyrics a bit more accusatory than melancholy – and Puck wondered if anyone would believe he knew the difference:

_It must have been love, but it's over now_  
_It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without_  
_It must have been love, but it's over now_  
_It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows _

The sheets started running in colour as rain showered down. It had come from nowhere but he still realised this wasn't quite real. As the colour washed out the faces faded also, along with the worlds until the song faded to nothing:

_It must have been love, but it's over now_  
_It must have been good, but I lost it somehow_  
_It must have been love, but it's over now_  
_From the moment we touched till the time had run out_

_It must have been love, but it's over now_  
_It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without_  
_It must have been love, but it's over now_  
_It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows_

Puck's world faded to a bright white and his last thought was thanking Moses that was finally over.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP

"Dude, what's a homos-a-pee-n-homo?"

"Give me that... 'snort' – that's kind of funny."

"But, but he's calling you a homo, or a something something homo."

"I am a homo."

"You shouldn't use that word."

"No, you shouldn't use that word."

"Why? If you can say it, and he can use it then I should-."

"Finn... wait, you want to call me a homo?"

"..."

"Finn?"

"No."

"Then why are we arguing, don't use it."

"I... my head hurts."

Puck laughed and opened his eyes. "Dude, he totally owned you."

"Puck!" they yelled together and Kurt and Finn entered his vision. They were leaning over which meant he was, oh, on the couch.

"I think I fell asleep."

"I know man," said Finn, his concern already dropping. "I told Kurt you must have got hypnotised by the sheets, it happened to me once."

Puck wanted to laugh aloud again at the incredulous look Kurt was giving Finn but his chest really hurt and he couldn't afford the breath right now.

"No 's not it," he mumbled then remembered the vision. "Oh crap, Roxette!"

"You wanna play cards?" asked Finn, really confused.

"You know Roxette? Soft rock love ballad bad hair dye duo who would have been 'oh my god' such gay icons if they were big now," said Kurt breathlessly, a hand on his own chest and his eyes already going into day-dream mode as he no doubt started cataloguing which of their songs he had on his ipod.

"Sister's fault," growled Puck and gave a scowl to maintain a little of his bad-ass image. Finn may not know Roxette but would look it up later.

A hand on his brow lessened his scowl as Kurt checked his temperature, Puck didn't know how Kurt would be able to tell if it was different from normal – maybe it was a chick and gay dude thing.

"Is this something we need to be concerned about?" asked Kurt quietly and Puck smiled slightly in thanks for him being candid.

"Nah," he shrugged. "The meds I'm on for my," he paused and looked to Finn. "Flu have me a little screwed up – must have been out in the sun too long."

"Uh huh," Kurt said and sat down next to Puck, forcing him to scoot over slightly but he was too lethargic to separate totally and felt the warmth of Kurt's thigh pressing against his own. The kid probably had no idea of the boundaries most guys respected so Puck let it go.

"Well we did bring you some lunch, Rachel is putting it in the kitchen – she made some comment about only jewish women being allowed in jewish kitchens, I told her rooms can't be jewish and she was being ridiculous but apparently I've told her that so many times today its lost all meaning."

"He's not going to eat it anyway Kurt, Puck hates fish – if you'd mentioned we were coming here and that's why you bought extra you could have saved everyone the misery of another Hum-merry smack-down."

"Hum-merry!"

"Kurt bought me lunch?"

"Yes, its Hummel and Berry mashed together, thought of it myself."

"Obviously Finn, and yes Puck, I brought you lunch and its not fish, its a haloumi salad."

"Awesome, I love that shit."

Finn was mouthing haloumi and undoubtedly trying to work out what it was if not fish. Puck looked to Kurt and gave him a nod, they'd let Finn stew on that one.

"Okay guys, all done – oh Puck, its lovely to see you awake," Rachel literally skipped into the room and Puck suspected she had been waiting outside to make the perfect entrance. "Kurt seemed rather concerned and said we should call the ambulance but I assured him given your recent incarceration you were probably on a drink binge or had taken up a drug habit and needed to sleep it off."

She smoothed down her skirt as if she'd said nothing inappropriate.

"Uh, thanks?"

"No problem, now I have a list of possible therapists to help you with your spiralling descent into felony and drug abuse but I have only personally met three of them and had to discount two due to them being female and under forty – you would just try to sleep with them after all," her teeth sparkled, she actually believed she was being helpful and Puck snorted, only Kurt seemed to share his amusement. How had he not noticed their similar disdain for Finn's girl earlier?

"I am not a criminal," he tried to say it like Nixon and although Kurt snickered Puck knew he'd failed with the other two. "I mean, I've been sick not in juvie – it was all a lie."

Kurt nodded to back up his story and Finn looked between them both, his eyes squinting as he tried to process the new information. Rachel pursed her lips, likely more annoyed she had wasted her valuable time looking at ways to rehabilitate Puck.

"Okay," Finn finally spoke slowly. "But dude... why?"

Puck found his mouth just dry up as he considered all the ways to say it but knew he'd crumble no matter what. A hand on his shoulder made him look to Kurt who smiled encouragement to him before reaching his other hand out to Rachel.

"Miss Berry, I feel a need to work on possible song choices for next week's assignment and although it truly destroys me to admit it your duet choice for us was so remarkably inspired I crave your assistance once more."

Rachel took Kurt's hand, pulling him up and away and Puck, although he knew what Kurt was doing missed the warmth and assurance more than he should.

As they left the room, Rachel already rolling off a range of possibilities Puck breathed and met Finn's eyes.

"Dude, I mean Finn – I need you to listen to me okay."

Tbc...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As Kurt watched Rachel clutched the ipod but failed to do anything with it, instead staring back at the Puckerman household through the windscreen of the Navigator.

"You already know what Puck's telling him don't you?"

"Guess I was being optimistic thinking you'd fall for my ruse."

"I'm not a fool Kurt," Rachel said, turning to him. "And I also know that Puck's machismo does not extend to covering up just having the flu."

"Ah," muttered Kurt and dropped his gaze. "Since I assume Finn will tell you anyway I suppose its okay but," he grabbed her hand. "You must promise to tell no-one until Puck does – this goes way beyond the whole baby fiasco."

"I promise," she said simply. Kurt would have to believe it and thought about the best way to put it. He had talked with Puck for quite a while after his initial break-down; it was as if once he had started the poor guy had needed to get it all out.

Start with the worst, if Puck could tell him he could say it to Rachel, its not as if it was happening to him.

"Puck has cancer."

She squeezed his hand but said nothing, she had probably suspected it was something like that.

"He has a primary tumour on his brain and a secondary one near his liver – he's been sick from some very aggressive treatment." Saying it quickly made it easier so he finished off with a summary of what Puck had told him. "Puck says they need to force the liver cancer into remission and shrink the brain tumour so they can operate."

"Is it... will he?"

"He might," whispered Kurt, and felt his eyes mist up. A week ago he could not imagine feeling such empathy for his former bully but something this serious seemed to put things in perspective. Since being in Glee Puck may not have become his friend but definitely friendly and had almost immediately stopped the bullying and maybe discouraged others. Kurt had no proof of this but had heard some talk.

"It must be hard... for Noah I mean." Kurt noticed that she used his real name for the first time and had almost forgotten what it was himself. He kind of liked it; less scary than the Puckosaur.

"He's so used to being in control, I understand why he didn't tell anyone... but then," she looked at Kurt and raised her eyebrows. "He did – don't take this the wrong way Kurt but you and Noah are not exactly?"

"I know."

"Have you... known for long?"

Kurt gave a little laugh. "Don't worry Rachel, Puck and I have not been carrying on a secret love affair, lurid and as strangely alluring as it may sound – I only found out yesterday," he finished quickly to remove the images from his mind. So not appropriate while they were discussing the possible demise of the person involved.

"Oh, here comes Finn," said Rachel and lowered her window as her boyfriend reached the vehicle.

His face was tight and drawn, Kurt could tell he was barely holding his emotions in check.

"Finn," Rachel reached an arm out to touch his arm. "Kurt told me, what can we do – I'm sure my Dad's have some great contacts at the hospital."

"Oh, um its okay Rach," Finn said in a husky voice. "He's on some trial program and his grandparents are helping out with the bills... they're kind of rich and disowned Puck's mom years ago," he turned to look back at the house. "Guess something like this changed all that." He laughed humourlessly. "He even mentioned going to temple with his Nanna the other week but I didn't really give it a thought."

He poked his head in and gave Kurt a funny look. "This is kind of weird but Puck wants to go to school on Monday and I was hoping you could take him?"

"Me?" Kurt felt a little dumbfounded.

"Yeah, well us actually but this is awkward."

"What Finn? The fact that my former bully, and my almost step-brother who can't decide if he's okay with me being gay will go to school all in the same car?"

"Um, that and..." Finn scratched his head and looked to the sky for inspiration. "It was meant to be a surprise but Mom and I are moving back in tomorrow – surprise!"

"You're-moving-back-in?"

Finn grinned half-heartedly. "Yeah, we'll be like bro's again – hey can you take Rach home, I'm gonna stay here a while," he started walking away. "Oh and can you pick me up in a few hours."

He disappeared back in to the house and Kurt couldn't decide to breath first or blink, because at the moment he was not sure he could handle both.

"Hoorah," said Rachel with a false cheer. "You have a brother."

"Its okay Rachel," Kurt said, recovering slightly and deciding to return the favour. "I guarantee not to steal him from you... but if you ever use my bed to make out all bets are off!"

KPKPKPKPKP

Thankfully they had finished the spare room before Burt fell ill, so no room sharing this time – Kurt suspected this was why Finn had agreed to move back in. As to why he'd been kept in the dark, his Dad said Kurt had enough to worry about taking care of him and thought he wouldn't mind. They both knew this was a lie but Kurt also realised how happy Carol made his Dad so could hardly make an issue of it.

He went as far to prepare a Sunday dinner and went all out with using the good crystal and candelabra – not that Carol or Finn would notice... Kurt shook his head as he cut up the Turkish bread; that was unfair... Finn wouldn't notice. Carol he suspected had some class hidden away somewhere.

"Kurt this is delicious, I hope you don't feel we need to do this every night," said Carol kindly as they finished up the main course. He smiled at her and laughed appropriately – she really was lovely and he glanced at Finn; how did that explain how he turned out.

"I just thought it important to show that the past is in the past and I, at least, am prepared to make a fresh start.

Burt gave him a warning look but Kurt wave his Dad off. "Don't worry, I can assure everyone here that you are looking at an all new Kurt Hummel. My aims this year are simple and totally lacking in malicious intent." He grinned at Finn, knowing the boy would have no idea what that meant. "My only concerns are the health and happiness of my father, high enough grades for that scholarship I deserve and to properly incorporate my dancing and singing ability to ensure New Directions reaches nationals."

"And of course your new family," suggested his father.

"Mmm," Kurt smiled but gave no commitment. He didn't hate Finn and if he was honest still very much saw him as a friend but the week's happenings were too fresh to fully trust him. He felt if he opened up and let the guy in he would be hurt all over again.

"Well I for one am looking forward to seeing how far your club goes this year," said Carol. "Finn tells me there's a new boy on the team who can help you get there."

Kurt forced himself to say nothing and just glared at Finn.

"Yeah," Finn grinned, not noticing Kurt's expression. "Sam's awesome, it took a while to get him on board but with his pipes we're a shoe-in."

Trying to ignore the obvious pun Kurt sighed instead. "We're still one short Finn, even if Puck is back in time he might not be ready to perform."

Silence enveloped the table. Of course Carol and Burt now knew about Puck's illness but with the move no-one had properly discussed it.

"Puck'll be fine," muttered Finn quietly.

"Of course he will honey, I've known that boy since he was five and he's a fighter," said Carol, putting her hand over her son's.

"Sometimes that doesn't matter," Kurt said, looking at his father. He knew what Kurt was getting at but shook his head slightly, warning Kurt off. For once Kurt took the hint.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it that way," Kurt apologised to Carol and Finn. "Now who's ready for dessert?"

KPKPKPKPKPKP

Looking in the mirror Puck wiped at his head, the short fuzz that was his hair remained in place and he breathed a sigh of relief. Okay, he kept it almost bare in any case but there was a difference and it was like one more thing he didn't want to give in to.

Telling Finn had been hard but not as hard as he thought. After Kurt's visit the day before yesterday he hadn't needed to unload on Finn like he had Kurt. Then they'd spent the rest of the afternoon playing Xbox; playing against someone was much better than one player mode; even if Finn had let him win. It was a little like old times, hours spent together with almost nothing said; Puck knew girls would never understand that he considered that quality friend time.

After another night with little sleep Puck had managed some more meals without bringing it back up and then endured some movies with his sister. He had to question why he was watching Disney on a Sunday but how could he begrudge Mary times like this when time was not something he might have much of. Sure the doctors said there was a good chance the treatments and surgery could work but Puck just couldn't see it; besides a thirty percent chance was not 'good'. He might have skipped math class too many times but he knew that thirty out of one hundred was not a high probability of success.

School tomorrow.

Sure it was his choice and his Mom had argued against it but he was feeling, if not great, then good enough. Besides the house was beginning to feel like a prison, which he wondered was classed as irony considering the excuse he'd originally given the school about his absence.

He'd have to tell everyone. The juvie lie could last a day or two but he would have to quit football and need extra time out of the day and people would wonder. Better to man-up and do it straight away. Maybe not a school-wide announcement; that kind of drama was more Berry's standard, not his. Surely coach could tell the team on his behalf and since Spanish was first up he could tell everyone there, by lunchtime the whole school would know.

Easy.

Except not really.

His phone buzzed and he opened it up, walking over and falling on his bed as the message came up.

_From: homosapienhomo_

[any special musical request for the morning... _dressed for success_ perhaps?]

Puck snorted, he was never going to live down knowing Roxette. He started typing a response then instead pressed call and held the phone to his ear.

"Hummel," he said as soon as the guy answered. "I may be weak but you're small – and the dumpster ain't that high."

"Hah hah, wait... you are joking right?"

"Get back to you on that."

"I'll wear last season's jacket, just in case – besides if the jocks see you get out of my baby we might both end of in the dumpster and rainbow slushied for good measure."

"We've got rainbow flavour?"

"No you idiot – great Gucci, you really have been out of the bullying game too long. They added lime green and that combined with the others mean if you're patient and pour correctly you can make a - no Finn its... just someone from school."

There was some scraping and a click before Kurt resumed. "Sorry, had to escape what was probably going to become family game night and yes that is as terrifying as it sounds."

Puck laughed as he imagined the Hummels and Hudsons sitting around playing monopoly or something. He couldn't decide what would happen first, Finn going bankrupt or Kurt having a hissy fit at not owning the most expensive property.

"Good to hear you in a better mood," continued Kurt.

"Yeah about that," said Puck, swapping to his other ear. "Thanks man, you were totally not suckful about it and you were right about telling Finn, I feel so much better; like a weights been lifted."

There was silence from the other end for a few seconds. "That's alright, I think."

"And for tomorrow as well dude, I thought Finn still had his car and didn't mean to -."

"Hah! He drove the wrong way into a drive-thru and still tried to order – his Mom heard and took his keys away – I bet he tried telling you he'd got done for drag racing."

"He did," laughed Puck. "But man Finn can't even break the speed limit on Grand Theft Auto."

On the other end Kurt laughed too and Puck was surprised it was quite masculine; he always figured the guy would giggle like his sister.

"Well in any case," said Kurt, his voice slightly muffled like he was changing and Puck almost slapped his head as a half-dressed Kurt popped into it – did his meds also have a side effect of gay?

"I don't mind, I mean Finn will drive me nuts pointing out hot chicks and you'll probably kick my seat the whole time but I don't imagine you're allowed to drive either at the moment?"

"Nah, double vision – sucks but at least I see two hot ladies when Finn points one out."

"That's a terrible joke Puck."

"You questioning the comedy stylings of Puckzilla?"

"Isn't Puckzilla your penis?"

"I – no!"

"That's not what Mercedes said."

"Aretha is just jealous she never got a private audience with him."

"Game to Kurt."

Puck rolled his eyes, he'd walked right into that. It was actually quite easy to talk with Kurt when he wasn't in ice queen mode, and he was also smart enough to have a proper to-and-fro shit giving session.

"Thanks man," he said, trying to sound as serious as possible.

Once again Kurt paused and instead of asking 'what for' or calling him a pussy the guy just hummed something non-committal.

"You're okay Kurt," Puck stated. "See you in the morning."

He hung up and stared at the phone before calling up the edit section. In only a few seconds he'd changed _homosapienhomo_ to _kurt h_; it was he figured, the right thing to do.

Tbc...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Glancing in the rear-view mirror Kurt sighed loudly.

"Finn, I can feel you burning holes in the back of my head."

"Why am I stuck in the back? We're not even at Puck's yet."

"Three reasons."

"Oh this should be good," a knee bumped him through the seat and Kurt was tempted to add a fourth reason but went with his first monologue.

"Firstly you lost last night and the agreement was winner chooses seats."

"That's totally not fair – you were driving in any case so were never gonna be moved."

"Yet you only realise that now."

"Fine."

Kurt grinned and imagined Finn's pouting expression, entirely wasted since he couldn't see him. The taller teen had been in a foul mood since Rachel refused to take him, insisting he should be there for Puck. Knowing Finn he was more displeased at missing a possible grope than understanding his girlfriend was right.

"Two," Kurt made sure to hold up two fingers, palm to the front so Finn understood the double meaning. "You would mess with my baby's music system, which is entirely unacceptable under any conditions... I mean it Finn," he added when the other said nothing. "I don't care if I'm in a diabetic coma and the only thing that can bring me back are the musical tunes of whatever long-haired git band you are slobbering about this week – you do-not-touch the stereo!"

"Dude, you have diabetes?"

"No, and don't change the subject – three!"

Kurt paused and breathed deeply, his humour fading. "Third reason is I don't want to even look at you right now." This time he figured Finn would be hanging his head in what he hoped was shame. "Honestly Finn, the only reason I didn't leave without you was Puck needing his best friend today."

"Oh its 'Puck' now," said Finn sharply.

"What?" Kurt almost missed the turn as he tried to understand his passenger's meaning. "That is why you said it – because I called him Noah earlier?"

"No!"

"..."

"Okay yes, but also cause you said 'Noah called last night' but never told me until breakfast."

"I wasn't aware I was under any obligation to tell you who calls me Finn." Kurt almost snorted in derision. One night under their roof and Finn was somehow thinking he could act like some protective big brother.

"When it comes to _my_ friends Kurt you do, if Mercedes called me don't you think I would have told you?"

"Hah, why would Mercedes be calling you – for dancing tips?"

"Why would _Puck_ ever call you?"

Kurt pressed his lips together tightly; he wasn't going to give Finn the satisfaction of letting that discussion go any further. He returned to the original problem.

"That doesn't give you the right to say what you did."

"What?"

"For Prada's sake Finn – you told me not to get too attached."

Behind him Finn sighed, whether because he finally understood how bad it had sounded or still didn't get it Kurt wasn't sure, he was betting on the latter.

"Its just, look Kurt. You always do this, rush head-long into something and never think about the consequences."

Kurt kept quiet, he was impressed Finn could complete a sentence and was now intrigued to hear the logic behind it.

"I think it was awesome of you to check on Puck, and then he opened up to you, I get it –you think you're friends now. Then you get late night calls from him and start calling him Noah... but don't forget who he is."

"I don't need reminding of that Finn."

"Really, because I think you do – this is the guy that tormented you for like, ever. He has called you much worse than f- that word and I know from personal experience that you can't trust him. I'm not saying we shouldn't be there for him and there is no way I will let him go through his alone – but don't go thinking there is more to Puck's sudden friendship with you than just... friendship."

Kurt slammed on the breaks and swerved off the road, bringing them to a stop just near a park.

"Jesus Kurt, what the hell!"

Snapping off his seatbelt Kurt spun around and glared at Finn, shutting up his further cursing instantly.

"How dare you," he said softly, letting the anger show on his face rather than the words, even Finn should pick up on that. "I found a team-mate in need and was there to listen, it was Noah's choice, yes Noah! I'll call him whatever the hell I want Finn Hudson – it was his choice to tell me he was sick. If we bond over that so what? You really think everything I do has some sneaky gay plot behind it? Yet again you assume I can't possibly be friends with a guy without trying to get into his pants, and just in case you think I'm stalking him – he called me... and today, it was _you_ who asked _me_ to pick him up."

Finn was looking left and right, like he trying to find way out. "Kurt, I'm sorry but you've got to admit, you always crush on the guy that pays you the most attention. Puck is sick and can't waste his energy having to worry about you falling in love with him."

"Fuck you Hudson."

"Woah! Harsh Kurt."

"Harsh!" Kurt turned back around and put the belt back on, turning into traffic, Puck's house was only around the corner.

"You have no idea how hard this is for me."

KPKPKPKPKPKP

No one spoke, they all were staring at him with a mixture of shock, surprise, sadness and support. Much as he'd feared and also hoped.

"So that's about it, I'll be getting treatments and hopefully surgery and um," Puck looked around and made eye-contact with first Finn and then Kurt – since their eyes weren't mirroring his own fear, just support. The only problem was the two hadn't said a word to each other, not even on the way to school.

It was weird but not something he had time to deal with.

"Until then its business as usual; except you know, no football or any contact sports."

"So sex is out?" said Santana, smiling and breaking the sombre mood. He sent her a silent thank you and dredged up a leer.

"Not dead yet San – my schedule is pretty full but I'll squeeze you in between chemo and radiotherapy."

She blew him a kiss. "Just don't feint like that other time, I was stuck under you for an hour and not in a good way."

"Okay guys," interrupted Mr Shuester, clamping a hand on Puck's shoulder and leading him to sit down. Puck nodded a thanks at the teacher and pretended not to notice the older man wiping away an errant tear. "Puck has asked we not dwell on it and waste class time... which is kind of telling of the drugs he's on." Everyone laughed appropriately and the lesson went on.

Sitting next to Finn it took Puck a second to catch his eye and nod over at Kurt. Finn shook his head and looked a little angry so Puck let it go, for now.

He was unable to catch Kurt's eyes anytime throughout the lesson but had the suspicion it had more to do with Finn sitting next to him.

Telling the class had gone well, and coach would be mentioning it at gym. He really just wanted to go home but had promised himself to see the day out.

Easier said than done.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

"Huh," muttered Kurt, glancing over at the table of jocks.

"What, is this a 'missing being the kicker' day?" asked Mercedes.

"No, although coach Beiste did approach me, but Sue would probably use me as a clay pigeon if I even considered it."

"So what makes you so introspective today, is it Puck?" she asked nodding at the guy in question at the jock's table.

"Yes," he said simply but elaborated. "All of them actually. I may have to redefine my school paradigm in regards their ability to function as actual human beings."

"What now?"

"The jocks," he explained. "Except for the few who showed me either kindness or indifference I would have thought them a bunch of sociopaths incapable of basic empathy or decency."

"Uh huh," said Mercedes, nodding as if he was making any kind of sense.

"Look," he pointed as Karofsky stood up to leave, but not before bumping fists with Puck and giving him a half hug. "Regardless their tactless and often profane treatment of myself and other fabulous people they do actually treat their own with what can only be described as support and," he waved a hand in uncertainty. "Dare I say it tenderness."

"Our footballers and hockey players? Tender?"

"Yes Mercy, I've watched them today, since Puck told everyone. I thought they would avoid him, or ignore it or something equally machismo but instead there has been at least one of them with him all day. They've got him lunch, made sure he went to gym even though he couldn't join in, and are always layering him with man hugs and shoulder touches."

"And that's bad?"

"No," Kurt's eyes widened. "No I didn't mean that at all – its just making me think if I judge them perhaps more harshly than they me?"

"Kurt, you don't go throwing them in dumpsters, or dumping a slushie on their heads or threatening to beat them up if they wear polyester blends."

He pushed around a solitary pea on his plate. "No, but I just assume they are stupid, and cruel and will never amount to anything – and that's just as wrong isn't it?"

"Maybe." Mercedes looked over at Puck again and found him glancing their way, or more specifically at Kurt. "Or are we just talking about one particular jock?"

Kurt grinned at her perceptive ability, it was good not having to explain every nuance to her. "I've noticed him become more," he searched for the right word. "Sociable since last year, but never actually considered being friends with him and now that I think we are hitting that point I've been reminded I am not of that world."

"You are making less sense than normal Kurt, and you can often be pretty damned cryptic."

"Okay, last week with the whole duets thing."

"And Sam."

"Yes, and that."

"I know you were all thinking that I was trying to sing with him just to, you know, get closer to him."

"Oh Kurt," demurred Mercedes. "I don't really think-."

"No, its fine. Part of me may have wondered but mostly I was just hoping to make a friend who would understand and accept me."

"..."

"A male friend Mercy," he added quickly. "You know I love you, and Tina and Brittany and yes Quinn, even Rachel has her moments... Santana scares me. But I want at least one guy friend who I can talk to and won't tell me what I should and shouldn't do – everyone else gets a same-sex best friend; is it so horrible I would want one?"

"But Finn ruined that," stated Mercedes meaning Sam.

"Yes, he managed to convince me it was the best thing for the team... not just the duet but being around Sam in any way, like I'm some kind of disease... don't go cutting him Mercy, he probably believes his own flawed logic."

"Mmm, sometimes that boy makes me wonder if he is really that stupid or just a better actor than we give him credit for."

Kurt laughed quite loudly, earning looks from many of the tables around them.

"Having now spent more than one day living with him I am sorry for the acting world but no, he really can be as stupid as he looks; but also as righteous as someone with such simple minded logic."

"And this connects with Puck how?"

Kurt went quiet and dropped his head. It was not easy to describe and he didn't want to go into detail about why Finn's words from earlier hurt so much.

"Finn thinks it'd be wrong for me to be friends with Puck – that I'd go all stalker even though Puck is sick."

"What! I'm gonna go and-."

"No," hissed Kurt and grabbed her arm before she could go and do who-knew-what to Finn. "He just doesn't understand the whole truth and I'm not ready to explain it to him."

She gave him an intent look. "Or me?"

"I'm sorry Mercy, I just can't."

Relenting she sat back down and leaned in close. "Just so we're clear – you and Puck, its not?"

He couldn't help it and burst out laughing again even if it did earn some harsh glares and a few whispered comments, the sort he was used to ignoring.

"That," he explained, "Would just be insane."

Thump!

A body jumped on to their table and they both looked up.

Right into the slightly glazed eyes of Noah Puckerman who had pulled up his shirt to wear it as a head wrap, leaving himself bare from eyebrows to waist.

Puck looked between the two of them and crouched down as if to whisper a secret.

Instead he started singing.

"_Gotta keep_

_One jump ahead of the breadline_

_One swing ahead of the sword_-."

"Oh great Dolci," whispered Kurt, a hand going to his heart as he gazed at the half-naked figure.

"Disney!"

Puck's Hallucinatory Music Clip #2

One Jump Ahead (from Aladdin)

Performed by Puck (and various characters)

[Puck:] _Gotta keep  
One jump ahead of the breadline  
One swing ahead of the sword  
I steal only what I can't afford  
( That's Everything! )  
_  
He stood up from his crouched position and jumped to another table, kicking trays of food over the occupants.

_One jump ahead of the lawmen  
That's all, and that's no joke  
These guys don't appreciate I'm broke  
_  
[Students, covered in mystery stew and mash shook their fists:] _Riffraff! Street rat! Soundrel! Take that!  
_  
[Puck:] _Just a little snack, guys_

Puck leapt to yet another table, grabbing handfuls of food and throwing it about

[Students:] _Rip him open, throw it back, guys_

[Puck_:_]_ I can take a hint, gotta face the facts  
You're my only friend, Abu!_

[Students:] Who?

Sue Silvester entered the fray, she glared at Puck who continued to throw food around and was about to start a horrendous food fight

[Sue:] _Oh, It's sad Puck's hit the bottom  
He's become a a one-man rise in crime  
I'd blame his father except he hasn't got one_

[Puck, having just smashed a large handful of gravy and peas on her head:]

_Gotta eat to live, _

_Gotta steal to eat  
Tell you all about it when I got the time!_

Puck kissed her gravy slicked cheek then leapt and pranced away, about the cafeteria, scattering crowds of students and upending any food and drink he came across, constantly avoiding any teachers trying to catch him – he was using a mixture of football and dance moves to achieve some kind of grace

[Puck:] _One jump ahead of the slowpokes  
One skip ahead of my doom  
Next time gonna use a nom de plume  
One jump ahead of the hitman  
One hit ahead of the flock  
I think I'll take a stroll around the block  
_  
[Students & Teachers:] _Stop, thief! Vandal! Outrage! Scandal!_

Sue, along with several other teachers managed to corner him near the kitchen entrance

[Puck:] _Let's not be too hasty_

[Lunch lady, opening the door just in time to let him through:] _Still I think he's rather tasty_

[Puck, while running through the kitchen turning over benches everywhere:] _Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat  
Otherwise we'd get along_

[Kitchen workers, waving their fists:] _Wrong!_

Puck skidded out behind the lunch troughs and jumped up, running through every pan and flinging food far and wide as he made his way along the bench and the line of students, by now all the teachers, kitchen staff and some students were after him

[Puck:] _One jump ahead of the hoofbeats_

[everyone:] _(Vandal!)_

[Puck:] _One hop ahead of the hump_

[everyone:] _(Street rat!)_

[Puck:] _One trick ahead of disaster_

[everyone:] _(Scoundrel!)_

[Puck, while reaching the end of the bench as they all reach for him:] _They're quick, but I'm much faster_

[everyone:] _(Take that!)_

[Puck prepared to jump off:] _Here goes, better throw my hand in  
Wish me happy landin'  
All I gotta do is jump  
_

Puck leapt but hit a gravy puddle and his legs went up from under him, landing him smack down on the table with a dozen foods raining down, the bench creaked then collapsed – sending three full trays of (thankfully) cold rice-pudding, jello and custard running over him.

As the teachers circled his prone figure and stared down Puck shrugged and smiled through a face full of wrecked food, managing to talk before he lost consciousness.

"Such a stud, makes Disney friggin hot."

Tbc...


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Mrs Puckeman, in Kurt's opinion of only having met the woman a short time ago, was a hoot and absolutely not the person he was expecting. Once she knew her son was okay her lip had quivered as it was revealed what had happened at lunch.

Expecting her to start crying Kurt had moved to help but instead a raucous laugh burst forth from her petite frame. As the description of Puck landing on his backside and being covered in food was told she had to take a seat and wipe tears of laughter from her face – while also apologising about her behaviour.

Unable to stop himself Kurt had smiled and then chuckled with her, getting glares from Finn and Rachel, the only other people in the room except Principle Figgins and Puck, currently keeping his head hidden under a towel. Looking closer Kurt could see the material vibrating and concluded Puck was also laughing but was wisely hiding it from the principle.

"I understand Mr Puckerman has some health issues but this incident is simply unacceptable, the cost of the ruined food alone will put us over budget for the entire quarter."

"I'm sorry," Mrs Puckerman managed to say through a grin and then she seemed somehow to get serious. "I assume however that you have liability insurance – after all my son did fall due to an unsafe table, if I heard it right, on school property… a back injury on top of Noah's other illness would be a very expensive matter I imagine."

Figgins' face dropped like someone had burned down his house. "Well, um, perhaps this is not the time to worry about a few broken dishes," he smiled as if the matter had always been trivial for him and had a few more quiet words with Mrs Puckerman while Kurt, still being frowned at by Finn, went to Puck.

"You in there Aladdin?" he asked, flicking the towel.

"Abu?"

"Very funny."

The towel was flipped off and Noah sat there grinning, he looked tired under the food stains but was definitely in high spirits.

"Come on Hummel, you gotta admit I rocked the hell out of that tune."

"Noah! Language."

"Sorry ma," he actually managed to pull off chagrined, not an expression Kurt thought Puck had in his repertoire.

"Dude," Finn, putting a hand on Puck's shoulder. "It was strangely awesome but why?"

"Oh," Puck scrunched up his face and his eyes flicked to his mother, still talking with the principle. "I really didn't know I was actually doing it – kind of thought it was a delusion."

Kurt reached in and removed a pea that had still been stuck to his cheek. "You imagined throwing gunk over half the population of McKinley High and kissing Sue Silvester?"

"Oh no," Puck buried his face in his hands. "No no no no no." He peeked out at Kurt through his fingers, which Kurt could not help but find incredibly cute. "For real?"

"Yeah," answered Finn, speaking to Puck but his eyes darting between him and Kurt – who noticed but decided to ignore it. "I think she's now in love with you."

"Hah, no-one can resist the charms of the Puckosaur," Puck cringed at his own words as he realised his mother probably heard them, he gave her a worried look but she said nothing. "I remember kissing someone but in my mind it was some chick in a hot dress - I was like totally in that scene being chased by guards with swords through the market."

"Really?" asked Kurt. "Were you a cartoon?"

"Yeah," said Puck slowly. "Guess that should have warned me something was very wrong… what are you looking at?"

"Just imagining you animated," said Kurt cheekily.

"Bet my guns were huge like camel humps," grinned Puck.

"I can't say it is a laughing matter," interrupted Rachel, hanging off Finn as she berated Puck and Kurt. "This time no-one was hurt but what if you had 'imagined' something else," she waggled a finger at Puck. "You should have told us this could happen and at the very least I would have tried to influence you to have more appropriate scenarios."

"I don't think it works that way Rachel," said Kurt, giving her his best raised eyebrow.

"You're an expert on such things Kurt?" she snapped. "Finn agrees with me don't you Finn."

They all knew it was not a question as Finn nodded dumbly.

"Noah," said Mrs Puckerman, pushing through and grabbing her son by his ears, she turned his head this way and that, checking him over then tutted. "I told you school was too soon but no, you never listen to your mother – its always 'yes ma' 'yes ma' then you just do as you like."

"Yes ma."

"I suppose you want to stay, even though I say otherwise?"

"Yes ma."

She squinted her eyes at him and tapped a finger to her jaw as she considered. Kurt was fascinated at how Puck stayed absolutely quiet and did not even look ready to interrupt her thinking process. Who knew Puck would be such a momma's boy?

"Fine," she finally stated. "The doctor said its okay, apparently these things are going to happen regardless if you're resting or not."

"Thanks ma."

She spun and pointed a finger at Kurt.

"You're Kurt?"

"Yes ma'am." He stood straight and knew he couldn't help it, the woman just inspired obedience.

"You're a good boy," she said, pinching his cheek which he valiantly didn't flinch from. "Noah told me you came to check on him and has been much happier ever since."

"Ma!"

Kurt couldn't resist smirking at Puck, his face going red under all the gunk.

"Noah needs his friends around to keep his spirits up, you just come over anytime," continued the woman, ignoring her son's embarrassed groan. Kurt knew it wasn't that Puck didn't want him at his house it was just his mother seemingly organising his social life that was destroying his badassness.

"We'll come over too Mrs P," said Finn, swinging his hand with Rachel's and giving his best toothy grin.

She just looked at their joined hands, glanced at Puck and shrugged, muttering something Kurt couldn't make out.

"Well, make sure someone drives you straight home," she ordered her son, Puck nodded as if anything else was an impossible option. "Mary will be at Nanna's tonight and my shift finishes late," she checked her watch. "Must go – but call me if anything happens or," she smiled devilishly. "Make sure someone records your next performance; hah! my son singing Disney."

She laughed walking to the door before turning back and looking Rachel up and down, shaking her head slightly.

"Dodged a bullet with that one baby boy," she almost cackled before leaving.

Kurt couldn't help it. He glanced at Rachel's clothes, seeing what Mrs Puckerman had obviously seen – a fashion atrocity.

He caught Puck pursing his lips but when they looked at each other neither could contain it.

The laughter could be heard from down the hall.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKP

Puck allowed the water to run hot before putting his head under it, sighing as the caked gravy and other muck washed off. It was hard to believe he felt okay after all that. His back hurt a little from the fall but excepting his constant fatigue there was nothing else. A few minutes saw the rest of him cleaned off but he stayed in; he was the only one in the showers so its not like he needed to rush it.

He leaned forward and pressed his head to the cold tile, water cascading down his sore back.

What the hell was he doing? Coming to school, risking injury and making a fool of himself – this was how he might spend his last months? Then again what else was he supposed to do and then there was the possibility that he may just survive this. It was easier to imagine that now than when he was puking his brains out and suffering from a force ten migraine.

So he lived, what then? He'd already changed from the self-interested asshole but would that make a difference? Puck wasn't stupid – he knew that there were a lot of things changing and some were started long ago, just now starting to emerge.

He could either continue to deny it, like he had for so long, or go with it and see what happened. He snorted to himself; he literally had nothing to lose.

He felt being stared at more than heard anyone in the room and slowly turned around. He didn't have to open his eyes to know.

"Sup Finn"

"Oh hey."

He finally opened his eyes and rested his hands on the side of the cubicle, he wasn't gonna stop the shower though since he knew it would keep Finn a little off balance. There were a lot of things he knew about his best friend and some of them were starting to really annoy him.

"You uh, really had us worried man," Finn said awkwardly, avoiding making direct eye contact and Puck smirked, maybe Finn really was uncomfortable about guy on guy stuff, even if it was just two dudes talking in the shower. Kurt's complaints may have been more solid than he thought.

"Sorry," said Puck simply and kept his eyes locked on the other boy, daring him to look his way even once. He didn't.

"Yeah, well I thought I'd better check on you – just in case you know."

Chuckling silently Puck wondered if Rachel had forced him to come and check or if it was someone else.

"I'm fine Finn, but thanks – good to know you've always got my back." He decided to put the guy out of his misery and turned off the shower, quickly wrapping a towel round his waist and going into the locker room. Finn followed, obviously more comfortable now that he could see Puck without having to view his junk. It was tempting to drop the towel to dry off and toy with the guy but Puck just didn't have the energy; besides Finn really was trying.

"So, Rachel will give us a lift home – thought I could come round for an Xbox rematch."

"That's cool man, Kurt's gonna drive me but we can still meet at home."

"Oh," Finn's face kind of scrunched up at the mention of Kurt and he looked towards the door, as if he suddenly wanted to leave. "Nah, if you guys are hanging out I don't want to…"

Puck laughed. "What? You think we're gonna go home and mess around or something – he's just giving me a lift."

"Yeah but you know Kurt," Finn said, his eyes going a little wide. "To you its just a car ride but for him it's the two of you spending time together."

Puck paused as he threw on a pair of jeans, spares he always kept in his gym locker since the slushies last term. "And that would be wrong?"

"Dude," Finn said, as if the word explained everything. "You're the one who used to tell me about reputations and the order of things, Kurt's gay and no matter if you just see it as friendship him and lots of others will see it differently."

"You sayin' Hummel's crushing on me?" asked Puck.

"Maybe."

"Oh jeez," Puck overacted. "What am I going to do, a guy likes me." He threw up his hands in mock panic. "A gay dude! I'll never be able to leave the house again."

Finn scowled at him. "Are you giving me shit?"

Puck's fake panic fell away and he clamped Finn on the shoulder. "In so many ways Hudson – look, I seriously doubt Hummel would ever see me that way but if he did the Puckosaur has no issue with it; that's more your hang-up, not mine."

Dropping his gaze Finn pouted at Puck's reaction, or lack of one. "I just didn't want anyone taking advantage of you when you're so sick."

Puck shook his head, realising that this was Finn's way of showing how much he cared – he just screwed up on the communication stage like always. "Finn, do you _really_ think Kurt would do that?"

Looking crestfallen, as if he'd finally began to understand how he sounded Finn sighed. "Guess not, I just… I don't want-."

"I know," Puck smiled and put on his spare shirt, a bright red one that had once belonged to Finn and he fingered it in memory before turning to his friend. "You don't want things to change – change is scary."

Finn shrugged and his lip quivered, tears forming in his eyes. "You're my best friend, I don't want _that_ to change."

Pulling him into a hug Puck whispered, "I know," and let the words go unspoken that both he and Finn knew he meant – he didn't want Puck to die.

As he let Finn cry openly on his shoulder Puck just held him like Finn had when his Dad ran out all those years ago. Since that day he'd never let anyone else in except maybe Quinn – only his Mom, sister and Finn ever got to see the real Noah Puckerman.

Maybe, thought Puck as he pictured Kurt, it was time to change that.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

"If you start singing anything about magic carpet rides you'll see a whole new world from the side of the road."

"Two puns in one sentence, been working on that one all day Hummel?"

Kurt smirked while backing the navigator out and exiting the carpark.

"Contrary to popular belief I don't spend my entire day thinking about things to say to you."

"Oh I'm hurt."

"Doubt it, don't touch that!"

Puck ignored him and adjusted the stereo, roaming through the available stations.

"There is music loaded to play you know."

"Yeah but that would be Hummel tunes – I'd rather risk the airwaves of Lima."

"Huh, whatever."

"Wow." Puck sat back in his seat, leaving the soft rock radio play. "I must be dying for Kurt not to argue about song choice."

"I must be already dead for Puck to refer to me by my first name."

Puck clasped Kurt's shoulder and burst out laughing. "Awesome, anyone else would have told me not to talk about death."

Kurt said nothing but Puck could feel the boy studying him, probably as Puck had left his hand there even if he was now staring out the window as they drove along the main road. Maybe they had joked but talk of being dead had killed the conversation. Thankfully, as Puck watched the people on the sidewalk, the silence wasn't uncomfortable. The drive to his place wasn't long and as they pulled up Puck felt like he wanted it to continue. About to ask Kurt to keep driving he saw the boy texting, his attention totally diverted as if he just wanted Puck out of the car.

His question died on his lips and instead he opened the door.

"Um, thanks."

Kurt didn't answer but just nodded, still studying his phone. Shutting the door Puck walked away slowly, wondering what the hell he'd done.

"Puck!" Kurt yelled through the window and Puck immediately spun around.

"Got dinner plans?"

Truthfully, Puck couldn't stomach food right now but his alternative was to face an empty house for the evening, so he shook his head.

"Be ready at seven then, just casual."

"Okay," said Puck dumbly as Kurt drove off.

Had Kurt just asked him on a date?

Tbc…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The sound of a motor outside alerted Puck that Hummel was here. A final glance in the hallway mirror made Puck wince sightly; his eyes were tired and bloodshot and his cheeks hollow. Maybe others wouldn't notice it but he'd been watching his own decline very carefully and the smallest change was quickly apparent to himself.

Why go out to dinner then? He wasn't hungry, was never hungry. He didn't particularly want to be around other people and had been to the bathroom four times that afternoon – not a good look if he was hit again in the middle of a restaurant.

So why?

Puck shrugged at himself – why the hell not?

Tired as he was he knew staying home wouldn't fix that – the insomnia seemed worse when he was home alone and it was likely his Mom would not be home until after midnight.

And there was the fact Kurt had asked him out… maybe, he still wasn't too clear on that. Had it been pity, interest, friendliness or just an afterthought?

One way to find out.

"Hummel," he greeted the other boy as he jumped into the vehicle.

"Puckerman," was his answer. Kurt gave him a once over and his lack of an acerbic remark probably meant Puck had dressed decently. Which had not been easy since he had no idea what this actually was. He'd gone with a long-sleeved black T with some grey tribal designs and settled for a pair of boot-cut denim jeans.

Kurt had a button-up shirt but not too dressy, more like a military cut circa M.A.S.H. Of course being the diva Puck knew him to be the shirt probably cost more than Puck's entire outfit, including the boots.

"Wait," Puck said, before they backed out of the driveway. He turned to Kurt, who was looking at him quizzically. "Why?"

"Why what Puck?"

Crap, the guy was going to make him work for it and Puck just didn't have the energy.

"Forget it," he muttered. "Let's just go."

Kurt silently obeyed but Puck knew he was wanting to talk. He avoided it by keeping his face to the window; for some reason Kurt only liked to speak to someone if they were facing him – and Puck wasn't sure when he had noticed that particular fact. They drove past all the regular restaurants and headed to the west end of town, not an area Puck knew particularly well.

"Not even gonna ask where we going?"

Sighing loudly Puck finally turned around. "Doesn't matter, I probably won't eat."

"I know."

"You know?"

That grin was his answer.

"You're next question is why ask you out to dinner if I know you won't eat."

"Do I need to answer or will you just hold up my end of the conversation?"

The vehicle stopped and Kurt looked directly into his eyes. "Is that a little of the ol' Puckosaur fire in those lovely brown eyes?"

Puck felt like he was having a Finn moment. "Are you hitting on me?"

Kurt's throaty laugh filled the cabin and he got out shaking his head.

"Sorry Puck, this is not time for one of your delusions – and also we're here."

"Oh," Puck got out too and looked around. It was a quiet street with some small cafes and restaurants, very bohemian and probably catering to the new executive apartment blocks in the area.

"Over here!"

It was Quinn, waving them over to a table on the sidewalk in front of what seemed to be just a simple coffee house.

"Come on," Kurt tugged on his arm gently. "You'll love it, they have coffee from all over the world and some flavours I swear should be illegal."

"I don't drink coffee," muttered Puck as he forced a smile for Quinn and Sam, already seated with menus open.

"Shut up!" said Kurt loudly, frozen in the middle of taking his own chair. "Noah Puckerman, of all the crimes you are guilty of that is the most heinous…no coffee – its like I've entered the twilight zone and have been forced to spend a day in the life of the culturally illiterate."

"Kurt!" hissed Quinn. "Chill, and at least take a breath."

Puck just decided to ignore the tirade and fist bumped Sam, taking his own seat before leaning over and pecking Quinn on the cheek, she had been so intent on Kurt he got in there before she noticed.

"Sorry," he grinned at her raised eyebrow. "I figured you were my date."

"Uh dude," said Sam. "She's kind of with me."

"Really?" Puck smirked at the blonde guy. "I thought you were here for Kurt."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Not again."

"Well," explained Puck, noticing that Kurt was staying silent and seemingly studying the menu with more intensity than was needed.

"You _are_ more pretty than handsome, you sing and dance, have a certain individual fashion style, the girls love you, I am certain you wear lip gloss and most importantly Finn feels a need to protect you."

"Look," said Sam with a loud sigh. "I am _not_ gay."

"Not that there is anything wrong with that," deadpanned Puck.

"No of course not," Sam quickly turned to Kurt. "Dude, I'm sorry-."

"Enough," laughed Kurt. "_Dude_, he is totally messing with you."

"He is?" said Sam, his eyes going wide and turning back to Puck. "You are?"

"Definitely," soothed Quinn, patting Sam's knee. "Besides, Puck just described himself."

"Hah!" snorted Kurt, this time literally burying his face in the menu.

"Oh there's also the hair," added Puck. "Total giveaway."

"You told him!" Sam scowled at Quinn.

"Of course not," Quinn chuckled.

"Knew it," muttered Kurt.

Sam pouted quite effectively but then smiled and ducked in, catching Quinn unawares with a kiss to the lips. Puck felt himself relax when he saw this; any normal person should have been angry at another guy kissing the girl he had been in love with. He could analyse it later but put it down to being happy someone else could give her the love she deserved. He managed a supportive smile in Sam's direction, hoping the guy understood his meaning.

He looked back to the table and caught Kurt giving him a stare that was totally unreadable.

"Would you like to order?" the waitress interrupted their gaze-athon and Puck tried to hide his confusion as Kurt, and then Quinn rattled off long and complicated requests. The words all seemed really strange and strung together haphazardly. Puck had paid attention in English and knew that none of their words belonged together in a proper sentence.

"And you sir?"

"Urgh," Puck pretended to look at the menu but had no idea, there was no way he could stomach coffee and he couldn't work out what else was available.

"He'll have a liquorice tea, with a hint of peppermint," Kurt suggested, Puck just nodded since it sounded like something he may possibly drink.

They engaged in small talk after that. Puck mostly remained silent while Kurt discussed fashion trends with Quinn as if they were old friends. When and how they had hit it off Puck had no clue. Sam also seemed content to remain quiet but now and then offered a humorous comment and Puck couldn't help but like the dude. He was really quite different from his normal guy friends, not afraid to be mocked and admit to knowing some pretty uncool things. The drinks arrived and Puck was not surprised to find he did like the tea, he acknowledged Kurt's choice with a subtle nod but Kurt shrugged, as if knowing what Puck would enjoy was nothing. The hot drink definitely soothed his upset stomach and he managed a few of the sweet biscuits Quinn had ordered.

Before he knew it they had been there for over an hour and while still tired he knew his spirits had been lifted and strongly suspected this was the true reason for the night's get together. Only when Sam left to take care of the bill did Puck turn to Quinn.

"Thanks for this," he said simply.

"Its nothing," she almost whispered. "Besides I wanted to see you outside of school and you know how much your Mom scares me."

"And you wanted me to see that you're happy with Sam."

"I _am_ happy with Sam but this was about you." She rubbed his arm and there were tears in her eyes. "I'm worried about you, not just the cancer but how you've been cutting yourself off, we may not be together Puck but I still care about you... a lot. Finn mentioned Kurt was driving you home from school so I sent him a text asking you guys to meet us here, obviously Kurt obliged."

He smiled but winced at the same time. "I didn't think people would care so much, not really." He flicked a look at Kurt. "I don't... deserve it."

"Oh Puck," Quinn sighed. "So confident in so many ways yet totally a boy in so many others – of course people care. You've been a dickwad much of the time," she said it with such grace Puck couldn't be insulted. "But who hasn't? We're teenagers, it is kind of in our job description – so while you have been a tool, you've also been a pretty great guy, you just hate people knowing it."

"Huh," Puck studied his own hands to avoid looking at anyone. "I just don't want people treating me all, you know – I'm still me, and that means-."

"We know," said Kurt and Quinn together. "You're a bad ass."

"Seriously Puck," said Quinn when they'd stopped laughing. "You didn't have to make up stories, I mean juvie? Really?"

"I just," Puck found himself looking to Kurt again. He had been the only one to figure it out, not the why but that it had been a lie. "I figured everyone could handle me being a criminal, but not being sick – I know that doesn't make sense but-."

"I get it," said Kurt, leaning back and putting his hands on his crossed legs, somehow managing to make such a feminine move work in a masculine way and Puck was sort of impressed and wondered if he'd ever noticed it before.

"Its like what they taught us in self-defence class, and before I continue don't look at me like that Puckerman, I needed to do something to protect myself from the haters in this town."

Puck nodded to allow him to go on.

"As I was saying," Kurt continued. "In many situations they say to yell fire – most people will help. Scream rape, or ask for help cause you're being attacked... many people will walk on by since its a thing that doesn't directly threaten them. To survive, to get through something horrible you sometimes have to lie, have to play on people's base fears." Kurt nodded in understanding. "You as a criminal is something tangible; a situation people would be able to process and not treat you too differently but cancer?" He shook his head, staring at nothing. "Its scary because its not something most people can understand; they know you can get sick, maybe even die... but they cannot know how you feel." His gaze rose and met Puck full on. "They can't know what it's like to have death so close and to lose someone like that... and for them it's scarier than a burning building."

It was as if his power of speech had been stolen, Puck could not utter a single word but just stared at Kurt; it was so hard to believe that this guy, this friend he never really knew he had, could understand so easily what he himself could not explain. Their eyes were locked and Puck could not tell if it was a second or a minute but suddenly it was broken as Sam returned and coughed politely, realising he'd interrupted something.

"I'm coming Sam," said Quinn softly. "I think its time Puck was home anyway, his Mom would kill us if we kept him out too late."

She hugged him, tightly and Puck knew he held on longer than was necessary but he still couldn't talk and it was the only way to convey his thanks for her being here and being smart enough to get him out of the house if just for one night.

Back in the vehicle Kurt started it up but turned to him instead of driving off immediately. "Puck I'm sorry," he said a little hesitantly. "What I said back there, it was a little full on and I hope you don't think it meant I thought you'd... you know."

"Die," Puck answered for him. He reached across and clasped his shoulder, like he had earlier. "Kurt it was perfect, like you knew exactly how I felt and I can't tell you how great it was to have someone just say it. I don't want to die but its a real possibility – like you said, tangible. I know its weird but having you say it made me think maybe I can beat this thing, I don't know – I just." He sighed, realising how tired he was and the words just wouldn't come.

"Its alright," smiled Kurt, placing his smaller hand over Puck's. "Let's get you home, having now met her and with Quinn's warning I don't want to be on the run from mother Puckerman."

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP

As they parked at Puck's it was difficult for Kurt not to just drive off, as if a night together was pushing the boundary and any moment the spell would be broken. This guy he was getting to know was not so different to the Puck he knew except the fear was gone. As he thought about it he realised Puck had always made his feelings known, in his own way. Also he had been supportive of others, once more in his own unique style but now the threat of being beaten or thrown in a dumpster was gone Kurt could appreciate that Noah Puckerman may be a bad ass but not a cruel person. He, like so many of the Glee club members, was a product of his environment.

So when Puck insisted he come inside Kurt did try to argue but then Puck turned those damned fine light chocolate eyes on him and he crumbled. This was not a crush he reminded himself, it was just one person supporting another.

Half an hour later they were on the couch, much like their position the other night with Puck's legs across his lap. This time though Puck had a little more energy and was strumming away on his guitar; trying to adapt a tune Kurt had hummed along. Kurt nodded as Puck finally got it close enough.

"That should do it." He then hesitated, Puck had pleaded with him to sing a song, something he'd never heard before. Without thinking it through Kurt had suggested one and as he'd predicted Puck didn't know it. With no keyboard Kurt couldn't do the music so needed to run through the tune by memory for Puck to get the basic chorus on the guitar.

"Wait," said Kurt, having second thoughts. "While I appreciate our newfound association I have to warn you that if people knew I was singing to you... in this situation, well I'm not sure but am fairly certain there would be some uncomfortable questions."

Puck gave him a glare that spoke of pure bad assery (Kurt wasn't sure that was a word but it would do) and strummed a few chords.

"Firstly Hummel you are not singing to me but _for_ me, there's a difference."

"And second?"

"Like I give a shit what people think, I'm tired but can't sleep and at this stage will try anything – even if it means having you sing me to slumber."

Kurt couldn't help giggling at that. "Really, slumber?"

Puck pursed his lips. "I do have a vocabulary you know."

"Yes but I'm used to only hearing the more base parts of it from your lips."

"Don't mention my lips Hummel, I'll think you're hitting on me again and can't do sex right now."

This time Kurt laughed out loud. "If only I had that recorded, Puck not up for sex!" He then frowned. "Wait, hitting on you again?"

"Enough talk, sing me to sleep princess."

"This will never work – if insomnia is a side effect of the meds my singing won't help."

In answer Puck started playing the music. "Please Kurt, just give it a go – if I don't sleep soon I'm going to go mad."

"Okay, fine." Kurt composed himself and tapped his fingers on Puck's shin to keep the beat.

_I could hear the calling, a million miles away  
As my heart beats fills the silence, with words that I can't say  
my mother used to tell me, boy time for you will come  
And so I sit back and I hold tight, my time has now begun_

_And I won't ever walk away  
I'll just be brave and stay  
Hold me till the end  
And in your arms I'll rise up high_

_Ooh hoo I wait for tomorrow, remember yesterday  
Ooh when I was scared of the darkness  
And saying things I shouldn't say  
But now my life has changed ooh  
Just look what I've become  
And so I sit back and I hold tight  
My life has just begun_

And I won't ever walk away  
I'll just be brave and stay  
Hold me till the end  
And in your arms I'll rise up high

_Ooh hoo life has been fine as a child up till now  
But I found I'm searching for something more  
Yeah_Kurt paused as Puck played out the chorus without words. He had not sang these lyrics for years, they held special memories with his mother but now seemed appropriate and though the song mentioned love it was not so much a love song – not something he particularly wanted to sing to, sorry, _for_ Puck.

Ooh hoo love it has no reason, don't need none to survive  
It's just a little flame in my heart, Ooh hoo keep me burning bright

And I won't ever walk away  
I'll just be brave and stay  
Hold me till the end  
And in your arms I'll rise up high

Don't walk away  
Just be brave and stay  
Hold me till the and  
And in your arms I'll rise up high

Kurt knew there were tears in his eyes and a few running down his face but he didn't move to remove them. It was a song his mom had loved and they had practised it together many times, especially when she was in hospital. Even as young as he was at the time Kurt had known enough that she was preparing him for the worst, that she needed him to keep going when she could not. When she had sung it to him it had been almost like a goodbye but Kurt realised that singing it to Puck changed the meaning of the lyrics. Not a farewell but a plea to keep fighting.

_Don't walk away  
Just be brave and stay  
Hold me till the and  
And in your arms I'll rise up high_

_Don't walk away  
Just be brave and stay  
Hold me till the and  
And in your arms I'll rise up high_

_Don't walk away_

He looked to Puck, noticing there had been no guitar for the last two chorus repeats. The guy was asleep, his head rolled back and breathing deeply. His arms had relaxed back from the guitar so Kurt gently removed it but found he was now stuck under the other's legs.

Sure, he might be able to move them but Puck had been so adamant about getting some sleep, he couldn't risk ruining that. Typing out a quick text to Mercedes, asking her to call his father and say he was staying at hers, Kurt turned off his phone and relaxed back into the couch. It was not the most comfortable in this position but he might at least snooze for a while and surely Mrs Puckerman would wake them when she got home.

He gazed at Puck for a while in the half light, letting the gentle rise and fall of the other's chest lull his own mind to near sleep. Like this he didn't seem so big, certainly not imposing and younger than he normally appeared. In fact like this Puck didn't seem any larger or different than Kurt himself.

For some reason that made it easier to forget who Puck was, who he had been for so many years, and to simply see him as someone else. He remembered how Mrs Puckerman had called him Noah and Kurt had found it strange – the name Noah did not fit with the image Puck always portrayed. Yet here, now and like this... Kurt saw him as Noah for the first real time.

As he faded to sleep himself Kurt smiled as he realised that this Noah guy was someone he actually felt comfortable with; for the first time he'd found a guy his own age who he might actually be able to trust.

A friend.

Tbc...

Note: song was - **_Brave_** by Kate Ceberano


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Dude."

"Dude?"

"Dude!"

Kurt cracked open an eye to see his almost step-brother having what seemed to be a monosyllabic argument with his new best friend.

"Argh!" Kurt's hands flew to his face as he almost screamed in horror. He'd slept here all night if the sun through the curtains was anything to go by and that meant his skin had gone over twelve hours without any kind of moisturiser. That horrible thought was slightly over-ridden as he realised his legs were caught behind Puck, during the night they must have adjusted their positions to some semblance of head-to-toe. Puck's legs were on the outside but one was trapped by Kurt's arm, which he quickly moved but the other boy made no action himself.

He saw the way Finn glared at Puck's leg, his arm and then at him.

"Kurt?"

"No." He felt there was no more explanation needed than that but this was Finn he was dealing with.

"I can't believe this," spluttered the tall teen, running hands through his hair. "Damn it Kurt – I thought we'd talked about this."

Crossing his arms Kurt huffed loudly. "You talked Hudson, but obviously forgot to listen."

"Huh?"

"It means whatever is going through that homophobic brain of yours is completely and utterly wrong… again – this," he pointed at himself and Puck. "Is nothing but two friends who fell asleep on the couch together. What? You don't believe me?"

In response Finn shook his head, which set Kurt off. Jumping off the couch he stood up and got in Finn's face. "Oh I get it, in your world the gay boy cannot possibly keep his hands off another guy and so how could I not molest Noah in his sleep?"

"Why not, I would," Puck spoke and both Kurt and Finn whipped their faces to him.

"What?" they both asked.

"Well come on," Puck continued, a smirk forming. "You've seen my guns and trust me, they match other parts in impressiveness." He wiggled his eyebrows for emphasis and Kurt couldn't help but snort in amusement.

"You want Kurt to-," Finn began but was cut off as Puck stood also.

"What I want Finn, is for everyone to chill. I haven't had a sleep like that in weeks and feel fantastic and the last thing I need is you whining and picking fights." He said it with a smile so Kurt noticed that Finn was not insulted; maybe there was an art to handling Finn after all.

As if to counter his own statement Puck wobbled a little and held his head. "Okay," he muttered. "Feeling fantastic but really hungry."

"Oh by Gucci," Kurt grinned, slapping Puck's chest through the tight t-shirt and forcing himself to ignore how firm it felt. "You read my mind, I need food and pronto… and if I don't get an espresso stat I may become a little bitchy." He stared down the two other boys as they looked at him with identical expressions. "Oh fuck you both – keys, wallet, shoes… now!"

KPKPKPKPKPKP

The diner was not too far away and Kurt knew from experience that it was the only one in their immediate area with real coffee and a really good mixed grill breakfast, one of his few splurges in the food department.

Devouring the last three strips of bacon in quick succession he eyed the untouched scrambled eggs on Puck's plate and considered the best way to get it to his plate if Puck didn't eat it in the next two minutes.

"So we have school in an hour," said Finn, his initial shock and anger at the sleeping situation apparently forgotten. That may have had something to do with him and Puck having a very hushed conversation in the car after Kurt had got out. He wasn't sure but Kurt suspected they had reached some kind of understanding if Puck's wink in his direction was anything to go by. Since Finn had not commented on it since Kurt would take what he could get; dealing with Finn's issues was not high on his agenda for today.

"Is that enough time for you both to get home and get there, I've had enough walking for one morning."

"Hah" laughed Kurt, keeping an eye on Puck's plate, he had been eating but the eggs were still untouched. "I bet Dad dropped you off so don't try that one."

"Maybe," he admitted. "You can also bet he didn't know where his son was."

"Maybe," Kurt mumbled. He would have to remember to update Mercedes before she started asking too many questions once they were at school.

"Not going to school today," Puck put in, shrugging as if it were nothing. "Doctor's appointment."

Noticing that the mention of it made Finn hang his head and that Finn's action made Puck grimace Kurt shook his head. Boys and their fragile ability to deal with each other.

"So Noah," he refused to glance at Finn to check if the name annoyed him. "Is she hot?"

Puck grinned. "Nah, you might like _him_ though, if you're in to older dudes."

Pretending to consider it Kurt put a finger to his chin. "Well doctors do earn well and work long hours, so there'd be a big pay off for me with only small commitment; I'd probably still be able to go to college as long as I was at home by the evening to service my sugar daddy."

"Kurt!"

"He'd probably want you to do some kinky shit, like with stethoscopes or something," said Puck with a leer, completely ignoring Finn's spluttering.

"Oh kinky is fine, as long as he sets up a store account at a couple of designer stores," nodded Kurt, returning Puck's grin and doing a little dance inside as without saying another word Puck scraped his eggs onto Kurt's plate.

KPKPKPKPKP

Placing his cutlery down Puck moved his eyes away from Kurt's. The guy had been eyeing off his eggs for the last five minutes and tempting as it was to prolong the torture the food would soon be too cold. Finn's face was turning a bright red, their conversation must have upset his delicate sensibilities. Snorting internally Puck wondered how Finn had grown up such a prude, he knew the dude's mother and she was no shrinking violet. It reminded him that for most of their friendship Puck had always been the one to cover for Finn's less than extroverted personality; somehow he had ensured that Finn remained on the cool side of the social strata – Puck was almost certain that without him Finn would be a freakishly tall chess-club loser with thick black glasses. That made him think of Artie and he winced inside and sent wheels a silent apology.

It was strange, he knew that Finn really cared but the guy could be so annoying with his innocent attitude; whereas Kurt made him laugh and didn't flinch every time Puck mentioned his illness. Watching as Kurt alternated sucking down the scrambled eggs and berating Finn for his splotchy complexion Puck knew he was beginning to really like the guy. Even in Glee he had resisted becoming too good a friend to most of the others; he knew they were good people and more loyal than any of his jock friends, but rules were rules.

Now the rules didn't matter so much.

Maybe a lot of things he thought set in stone really weren't that immoveable?

He frowned as Finn snapped back at Kurt to keep his girly eyes off his face; Kurt sniffed as if the comment did not hurt but Puck knew it did. It seemed no matter what these two were destined to bicker – some things could change but others remain the same. He stopped listening to the argument as he tried to remember if that was a quote or a line of a song.

Music started up and Puck frowned again, searching for the jukebox but he couldn't see one, perhaps the cook had a radio on. The tune was one he knew and as he looked back at Kurt a groan escaped his lips; a microphone had appeared in front of him and although he could still see Kurt and Finn and the whole diner he could not stop himself. Like a man trapped in a dream who cannot wake Puck started swaying then singing.

Puck's Hallucinatory Music Clip #3

'_Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of' [U2]_

_Performed by Puck, Kurt and Finn._

(Puck)

_**I'm not afraid  
Of anything in this world  
There's nothing you can throw at me  
That I haven't already heard**_

I'm just trying to find  
A decent melody  
A song that I can sing  
In my own company

KPKPKPKPKP

When Puck started humming then broke into song it took a few seconds for Kurt to understand he wasn't just singing along to the radio; which was playing the same song. But Puck's eyes were glazed he was swaying and he was looking at them but not really. He was also not holding back and singing quite loudly; glancing at Finn it was obvious by his raised eyebrows he had come to the same conclusion.

Puck stood, moved to the aisle and pointed right at Finn.

(Puck)_**  
I never thought you were a fool  
But darling look at you  
You gotta stand up straight  
Carry your own weight  
These tears are going nowhere baby**_

You've got to get yourself together  
You've got stuck in a moment  
And now you can't get out of it

Don't say that later will be better  
Now you're stuck in a moment  
And you can't get out of it

In the short musical interlude Kurt shook his head and sighed; Puck had said his medication would do this but Kurt had thought with a decent sleep and food it would be okay – at least he was slightly more lucid and using lyrics that kind of were aimed at Finn.

Of course that meant... oh no.

Puck pressed his palms down in front of Kurt and looked him right in the eyes.

(Puck)_**  
I will not forsake  
The colours that you bring  
The nights you filled with fireworks  
They left you with nothing**_

I am still enchanted  
By the light you brought to me  
I listen through your ears  
Through your eyes I can see

And you are such a fool  
To worry like you do  
I know it's tough  
And you can never get enough  
Of what you don't really need now  
My, oh my

Screw it, thought Kurt and smiled as he stood up – at least Puck wasn't singing about some undying love he'd suddenly developed for Kurt; Finn's head may have exploded if that happened. He joined Puck, throwing an arm around him to help with the lyrics.

What the hell.

(Puck and Kurt)_**  
You've got to get yourself together  
You've got stuck in a moment  
And you can't get out of it**_Holding out his hand Kurt beckoned to Finn, who shook his head, looking too embarrassed as all the other diner patrons were looking at them. He kept his hand out and silently pleaded with his eyes.

Oh love, look at you now  
You've got yourself stuck in a moment  
And you can't get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep  
The water is warm 'til you discover how deep

I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall  
It's a long way down to nothing at all

Come on Finn, he hoped the guy would just get it. This wasn't just about doing something stupid, or making a fool of yourself.

Puck couldn't help what was happening to him and Finn had to accept that – he had to understand that no matter how much he fought it his friend could still die.

Kurt gave up and dropped his hand, turning away from Finn and rejoining Puck for the rest of the song.

He almost yelped though when an arm draped around his from the other side and Finn's voice mixed with theirs. They turned as a trio to face the diner crowd, who were swaying along and some were clapping to the beat.

(Puck, Kurt & Finn)

_**You've got to get yourself together  
You've got stuck in a moment  
And you can't get out of it**_

Don't say that later will be better  
Now you're stuck in a moment  
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over  
And if the day won't last  
And if our way should falter  
Along the stony pass

Kurt couldn't help grinning like an idiot. Here he was trapped as the proverbial meat in the sandwich of Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman and they were all singing together. Sure they'd sung together in Glee many times but this, even though they were in public, seemed more personal, intimate.

This was also bringing the three of them together as friends, he was sure.

It helped that Puck was of a height with him and his head was kind of leaning his way, his eyes closed but still singing the words so Kurt could admire how emotive Puck's face became when singing. From his forehead, down the sharp lines of his cheek and across his gorgeous lips – he was all about the song and it was one of the most beautiful things Kurt had ever seen.

If he had to have male friends at least they were good looking.

_**And if the night runs over  
And if the day won't last  
And if your way should falter  
Along this stony pass**_

It's just a moment  
This time will pass

The crowd cheered and whistled and Puck was snapped back to reality; he was still standing with arms draped across Kurt's shoulders, Kurt's own arm wrapped around Puck's waist and he felt himself sway a little unsteadily.

"I think," said Puck softly, "That I need to get to that doctor."

KPKPKPKP

"Mrs Puckerman?" Kurt asked softly as the woman exited the room and walked over to the water cooler. She didn't answer but if her hands shaking as she tried to pour a drink were any indication, the news was not good. He took the cup from her and finished the job, handing it over she smiled and slid down to the chair.

"I'm sorry Kurt," she whispered. "I just didn't think... its too soon."

Something in Kurt's chest just dropped to the floor at the words, surely she didn't mean?

At his expression Mrs Puckerman quickly put a hand to his. "Oh no sweetie, not that." She took a breath and sipped at the water. "They're going to operate in the morning."

"But I thought that was weeks way?" questioned Finn from across the hall, his eyes wide in the fear Kurt felt building within himself.

"Yes," nodded Mrs Puckerman and Kurt respected how she visibly collected herself and finished the water, standing straighter and addressing both Kurt and Finn. "He was to have another treatment next week but considering the last one didn't work Noah was given the choice of waiting to see if the next would or risk the operation now." She paused and smiled in pride. "My boy never was one to back down without a fight – his exact words were '_let's punch this bitch out of the park_'... I decided to let his profanity go this time."

Finn was frowning in heavy confusion. "But I thought the medication was working, he had another hallucination and Puck said it was caused by the meds."

Mrs Puckerman just shook her head, her eyes tearing up.

Kurt almost swore in understanding. "The tumour was causing it, not his pills." He laughed in irony. "Typical Noah, say one thing but mean another." He looked at Finn who still seemed far too confused but Kurt decided he would deal with that later.

"Is there anything we can do?" he asked Mrs Puckerman and the woman smiled through her tears. "I have to go get Mary, could you boys stay with him until I get back – he says he's fine but right now I've never seen my Noah so scared."

That is how Kurt found himself and Finn inside Puck's hospital room, the distinct lack of machines and tubes making the situation seem not so heavy. All Puck had was one IV line, he was still even wearing his t-shirt.

"Got the news then dudes?" Puck asked nonchalantly.

Finn started talking to him but Kurt phased out, instead taking in the horrible decor and absently feeling the harshness of the hospital linen.

He really hated these places.

"Hey Finn," he heard Puck say loudly, obviously wanting Kurt to take notice. "Could you go get me a burger or something, I think the hospital cafe has them."

"What, now?" asked Finn, and Kurt cocked his head at the two of them. Finn obviously didn't want to leave his friend but Puck was giving him the puppy dog eyes.

"Pleeease."

"Fine dude, beetroot and tomato on beef right?"

"You know me so well," said Puck sweetly and only swept his eyes to Kurt's once Finn had left.

Kurt smiled and shook his head. "Not well enough it seems, since you can't eat this soon to an operation."

"I was betting Finn wouldn't know that," said Puck without breaking eye contact.

"So you wanted to see me alone Mr Puckerman," said Kurt softly and walked up, sitting on the bedside without preamble. They'd shared a couch for the night so he figured proximity was no longer an issue. "In any other situation I would be worried about my virtue."

Puck laughed loudly and Kurt was pleased it reached his eyes.

"Seriously Hummel, how do you do it?"

"I'm not sure what you mean," answered Kurt flatly, since he really wasn't sure what Puck meant.

"Anyone else," said Puck, all humour falling away. "Would be treating me with nothing but kindness, walking on eggshells and definitely not making jokes at the sick man's expense."

"Huh," snorted Kurt, as realising for the first time that he was aware of his behaviour. "Imagine that."

A hand covered his own and he looked down. Puck's hand was larger than his and the skin darker but the fingers seemed thinner and the veins showed behind his knuckles. Maybe his physique at first seemed unchanged but Puck had been losing weight and for quite some time – how had none of them noticed before this?

"I think," Puck almost whispered. "That you've been here before."

Kurt could only nod.

"That's why you know to try and treat me normal, to not shy away from the hard stuff," stated Puck and used his other hand to force Kurt's chin up and look him in the eye. "Cause you know this shit is real, that," his eyes moistened and a single tear escaped and Kurt wondered when it was no longer strange to see Puck cry. "That I can really die and there's nothing you can do to stop it."

"Yes," Kurt forced the word out, his own tears beginning to flow as memories of another time flooded in.

Another hospital room with another person. This one with machines droning on, tubes everywhere and family members doing their best not to ever say the 'D' word.

"It was your Mom wasn't it?"

Kurt could only nod and sniffed just once, halting the tears. He had mourned her and that was done.

"You're so strong Kurt," Puck continued, his hand clamping down on Kurt's. "Anyone else would've run for the hills rather than deal with such a thing again."

"Its not that," Kurt said huskily. "She was everything thing to me, my entire world at that time of my life, and then she was gone." He smiled and tried to convey he was not being harsh towards Puck. "I'm not afraid because that can never happen again and nothing could ever hurt that much, not you and terrible as it sounds, not my Dad."

Puck smiled sadly, the tears on his face already fading in the dry hospital air. "Thank you Kurt, that means a lot."

"Really, I thought you'd be hurt."

"You kidding, you lost the most important person in your life but it didn't destroy you. I wish I had your strength, and awesome courage – it gives me hope that if I don't make it Mary will be okay... that her and Mom will survive this even if I don't."

Kurt looked long and hard at his former tormentor, feelings and thoughts whirling around his head as he thought what a weird and confusing situation he found himself in. Sure, he could leave their conversation where it was and wait in silence until Finn returned.

But Puck had said it was Kurt's courage he admired; so maybe he should use some of that now.

"Noah," he spoke softly, unable to keep eye contact. "I accepted my Mom's death a long time ago but that doesn't mean I _am_ ready to go through it again. I don't want you to die, and I don't believe you're going to."

"Thanks Kurt, that means a lot."

"I'm not finished." Collecting himself Kurt once more looked into Puck's face and allowed feelings he had been resisting to flow through him. "You can't just become part of my life, become a friend, a good friend and... someone I care about – then disappear." He gave his best diva expression and closed his eyes. "I tried to just think of it as being there for a friend, helping you out and doing what was right... but Finn may not be as stupid as he dresses because," he kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see Puck's expression. "I may be falling in love with you Noah Puckerman, and regardless if you don't return my feelings you are not going anywh-."

Lips crashed against his own, drowning out his words and Kurt almost squeaked. Sure in his dreams this may happen but in reality.

SFW

Just enjoy the moment he heard his mother's long forgotten words in his ear.

It was not the most romantic setting, and he doubted Puck was up for much passion but the jock was giving it a pretty good shot. Their tongues fought and lashed against each other, Puck used to kissing forcefully and Kurt refusing to be the girl and just swoon. Whatever it was it felt good, and right and the kiss really did become like a dream, the time around them slowing and their whole existence just in this one passionate moment.

"What the hell!"

Until of course Finn came walking in.

Tbc...


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Bloody… Finn! Cock-block much?"

"Noah! Language," said Kurt, imitating Mrs Puckerman, which did earn him a wry grin from Puck, who had barely moved away from their kiss; which gave him bonus points in Kurt's mind.

"Dude," began Finn but Puck cut him off.

"No, uh uh – you don't get to judge this one Finnstrudel, it was all me, the Puckosaur strikes again and," he licked his lips, arching his eyebrows. "I liked it so you can just back the hell down because I can almost guarantee its gonna happen again."

"Really?" said Kurt, a little shocked. Sure Puck had kissed him and yes, he had kissed back but he'd just figured Puck was trying out something new prior to his operation.

Puck nodded enthusiastically. "An encore performance is demanded."

"Well I hate to disappoint an appreciative audience," grinned Kurt, leaning forward and smacking a quick, almost chaste, kiss to Puck's lips.

"Okay enough!" Finn almost shouted, holding up his hands. "I mean, continue if you like but I have to talk to Puck."

"I mean it Finn," stated Puck, his eyes hardening. "You got a problem with this then you and I have a bigger problem."

"No," stuttered Finn. "I mean yes we have a problem but not that… this," he pointed at the two of them and Kurt noticed his lip quiver in almost laughter. "I know I can be a little slow but I have been around you two for the last week and it was kind of obvious I was fighting a losing battle."

Kurt crossed his arms and glared at the taller teen. "Yet you felt the need to warn me off, quite rudely if I remember?"

"Yeah," this time he did laugh a little. "Consider it a little revenge and a little bit of a push in the right direction."

"Huh," Kurt pursed his lips. "Finn Hudson, I refuse to believe your intentions were lacking in malicious intent. Revenge I understand but how did telling me to stay away from Puck get us together?" He shot Puck a sideways glance. "Are we together?"

Giving his patented bad boy ambivalent shrug Puck smiled. "For the rest of my life if you want."

"That is so not funny."

"It's a little funny," answered Puck, bringing his thumb and index finger close to signify the size.

"And that's the point," sighed Finn. "I've known Puck since we were, well I've always known him – and whenever you think you got him figured he'll go do something else."

"So?" both Kurt and Puck asked.

"So maybe I didn't want you guys together but if it was going to happen I knew Kurt could _not_ make the first move."

Kurt glared at Finn for exactly five seconds before giving up, deciding Finn logic was either lacking in any foundation or so good he would never understand it.

"How do you know I didn't" Kurt asked instead of arguing the point.

"Did you?"

"I-," he sniffed and turned away. "That is none of your business you devious and cunning bastard."

Puck was giving him a dark look that had nothing to do with anger.

"Oh great Prada," Kurt snorted. "_That_ turns you on?"

"You have no idea," muttered Puck.

This time he glared at Puck for the full five seconds but it had zero effect if the smirk was anything to go by.

"So Finn," Kurt decided to change tack. "If this," he mimicked Finn's earlier action of pointing at himself and Puck. "Is not really the problem then what is?"

"I heard some doctors talking outside," he explained to Puck. "This operation is not a cure."

"Fuck me Hudson, just let it go," growled Puck and Kurt senses his whole attitude change. Gone was the guy who had just kissed him and back was the belligerent tough football player.

"What's he talking about Noah?" demanded Kurt, grabbing the other's hand and refusing to let go, he found his Dad found it hard to lie to him when he did this and figured it would work on Puck as well.

"I just want it to be over," mumbled Puck, his shoulders dropping but he didn't try to pull away. "I'm so sick of being sick and the treatment was really bad and then they're saying give it another go even though it hasn't worked yet – it just sucks."

Processing what he wasn't saying Kurt tried to understand what he was going through, but knew that was pretty impossible.

"So why have the operation?" Kurt finally asked. "If you don't want anymore treatment okay, but then why risk surgery if it won't work."

Noah's face was so open, so full of pain and vulnerability that Kurt wanted to take it back, stop the pain his words were causing.

"I can't look into my mother's eyes, or Mary's, and say I wasn't willing to stick around a while longer – the surgery will give me time but that's all… end result is the same."

"But Noah," Kurt hesitated. "They're going to… you said the treatment was designed to reduce the size of the tumour so it was _safe_ to remove – if that hasn't worked then what kind of damage are we looking at?" He flinched at his own words but there was no good way of putting it.

Puck was looking at the window now, his eyes almost vacant as he said without emotion, "Probably lose my sight, some motor control and could be memory loss… and that's being optimistic, its actually amazing they're willing to operate but apart from the experimental treatment there are no other choices except to sit back and die."

"So try the treatment again bro, it can't be that bad?" pleaded Finn, taking a seat on the other side of the bed.

Noah laughed silently and shook his head. "You have no idea."

"I thought there was nothing you were afraid of?"

Puck stared at his best friend and Kurt could see the silent communication going on between them. They really were the best of friends and no matter the drama that had happened with Quinn that connection was still there, he almost felt like an intruder.

"Its not just the pain," Puck finally relented. "Imagine being sick but having no relief, just puking for three days straight and feeling your veins burn with that fucking poison. Everything tastes like bile, everything hurts and the migraines are what almost finished me – just continuous throbbing like my head was going to just split open." His head dropped and his hand clenched Kurt's at the memory. "So weak I couldn't move, so dry my lips were cracked and I couldn't even, you know, take care of myself."

"Hey," said Kurt softly and lifted his chin, bringing their faces close. "I'm not saying you have to go through that again, but if there's even a chance that you can beat this thing – well maybe I'm saying you should go through it – but you won't be alone, me and Finn will be there the whole time." Kurt glanced up to see Finn nodding in agreement.

Puck's eyes opened a little wide as he looked at them both. "I don't think you know what you're asking."

"What?" asked Finn. "Kurt's right, we won't leave you, no matter what – although the puking, not sure I can deal with that, you know I've always been a sympathetic hurler."

"Don't remind me," muttered Puck and Kurt promised himself to get that story out of them at a later date. "Thing is, if I go with the treatment and it still doesn't work the window for surgery would've passed."

KPKPKPKPKPKP

As soon as he said it Puck felt Kurt tense and saw him scowl before wrenching his hand away and flouncing off the bed to lean on the window sill.

"What the fuck Hummel?" he used the name without thinking.

"What the fuck?" Kurt mimicked. "What the fuck!" He waved his arms in full diva mode and put one foot forward, raising those eyebrows and then sticking his hands on hips. Puck knew he was in for it now.

"You Noah Puckerman are 'the fuck'," said Kurt fiercely. Puck looked to Finn but he shrugged, no clue as usual.

Kurt continued, waggling a finger when necessary. "You're telling me that there is a chance, a good one if the treatment works, that you can beat this… but you're too afraid of facing your mother if it doesn't work to tell her you don't have much time left; you'd rather be a fucking vegetable after they remove half your brain than be sick a few days and have to be looked after and maybe have to make your sister cry earlier than expected."

"Harsh Hummel, way harsh – that's my family you're talking about."

"Yes!" Kurt walked back and thrust his finger at his chest. "Your family, who would do anything for you – and guess what? I bet that includes accepting the risk with you – I bet your Mom will not hesitate to back you up, no matter what you do." He took a breath, a shuddering one and Puck was sure he had never seen Kurt this upset, this enraged. "You are being selfish, and wrapping it up in selflessness and yes, you might kick the bucket sooner if you take the chance on treatment but let me tell you this Puckerman," Kurt's face was red with anger and his nostrils flared. "Whether you die quick or not your family _will_ get over it, they'll grieve and they'll hurt but they'll be okay because they'll know everything that could be done had been done, but if you just give up… if you don't try – then they'll _never_ forgive you."

Their eyes locked and Puck felt something in his chest almost burst, whether it was reflected anger, or shame, or something he would never work out – it was some weight he'd been carrying, a burden and somehow Kurt's words had released him of it. He had not wanted to admit it to himself but Kurt was right. No matter how he dressed it the fact was he was looking for the best way out to cause him the less amount of pain, and not just the physical. He should have been crying out for help but instead had just forced everyone to go along with anything he did – sometimes helping someone meant telling them they were being a douche. Kurt had done just that and he realised the guy was not just talking about him.

Kurt's Mom had let go. Maybe she'd fought long and hard, perhaps she had tried everything but then again she may have just given up – and whatever happened the child Kurt had been had never forgiven her. As he looked into those blue-grey eyes, glistening with unshed tears and such ferocity Puck knew his decision was no longer a hard one.

Maybe it never had been, he was such a stubborn prick sometimes.

Sometimes a burning building really was just a fire, and that's what you had to tell people.

He smiled, a genuine one and raised two fingers.

"Fine, but two things – Hummel, you have to sing for me when I can't sleep and Hudson," he grinned at his best friend. "You have to hold the bucket."

KPKPKPKPKPKP

Finn never did hold the bucket but he did hold Puck as he shook with the tremors and rubbed his back as Puck really did puke almost non-stop for not three, but four days. Every fifteen minutes for the first twelve hours and you could almost set your watch as he heaved every hour after that.

They took it in shifts to be with him.

His Mom

Finn.

And of course Kurt.

His sister was saved the trauma by staying at their grandparents but she called every few hours to say she loved him. Most times he couldn't answer back but hearing her voice made it easier.

The doctors had warned this treatment would be the most aggressive, and being a trial they could not predict exactly how bad the side-effects would be. By day two Puck was calling those doctors every foul word he knew, and then some.

His Mom only scolded him half the time.

Thankfully he got a private room, whether by doctor's orders or his Mom's demand he didn't ask, but was thankful. Bad enough the people he cared most about saw him like this let alone some stranger or three. Knowing a little of what was coming didn't help and Puck was weeping openly at the end of the first day, the pain and the helplessness overcoming his initial tough words to 'get through this like the bad ass he was'. His Mom was the only one there the first time and she just held him close as he let it out, whispering in his ear about how brave her 'baby boy' was and how it would be over soon.

As the sun set through the windows on day two and the searing pain of the first migraine hit he had actually screamed, so sudden the pain. Finn had been there in less than a second, closing the blinds and turning off the room's light. He'd obviously dealt with migraine's before and through the agony Puck heard him say his Mom had them sometimes and something along the lines of 'dude this may be kind of gay but given you and Kurt…' – man was he going to beat Finn up for that when he had the strength.

Then he felt Finn's cool fingers begin rubbing at his temple, slow circular motions which didn't stop the pain but somehow took the edge off.

That's not so gay, thought Puck at the time.

Then Finn started singing a soft melody, kind of wordless but a repeating tune that lulled him into a half-sleep.

If anyone said that Finn had sung him a lullaby he would drop a vending machine on their head.

His Mom was his rock, Finn his nanny and Kurt was a mixture of the two plus the one that helped him keep it together enough to not attack the nurses when they came to change the drip.

He did the same as Finn, holding him as he dry retched and cleaning him up afterwards as the drool and whatever bit of water dribbled from his lips and the tears ran down his face. That wasn't so bad, when you're puking what can you do and they weren't crying tears, just heaving tears… there was a difference Puck was almost certain. He had avoided sobbing in front of Kurt for the first two days. He wasn't sure why, since his Mom and Finn had faced it, maybe cause they had seen it before – not since they were five in Finn's case but there was still precedent (he did understand the word no matter what Kurt said).

Yes, Kurt had seen him cry earlier but sobbing and screaming and moaning were a little beyond what he had revealed to Kurt. Unfortunately it was Kurt who was with him when on the third day, after an extremely exhaustive heave-athon, Puck saw himself in the mirror.

The sunken eyes, almost black from lack of sleep and pain. Hollow cheeks and cracked lips on a body that was thinner than he had been in years, the t-shirt (third of the day), that used to be tight on his totally ripped torso and arms, now hung loosely. Although he'd been losing weight for some time this latest round of treatment had stripped him of any bulk he had left. He lifted the garment up and saw his ribs showing and bruising from nothing more than the bump of a bed or arm rest. He hated what he saw and his hope plummeted, surely that thing in the mirror could not survive this.

He broke. Sobbing in silence Kurt must not have noticed at first, not until Puck had thrown a cup at the mirror (missing of course) and told it to fuck off. Saying nothing Kurt had held him, making him lay on his side with Kurt behind.

Spooned by Hummel, a part of his brain processed it as mildly embarrassing (he should be the man after all) but it felt so damn comforting and if Kurt was holding him maybe he wasn't the disgusting creature in the mirror. Yes part of Puck knew he was being irrational and all that but he also recognised that a drug cocktail strong enough to fight an aggressive cancer may just affect his emotional state.

And he was Puck, he could be spooned and make it hot. That fleeting thought had him almost chuckling as he still cried and Kurt probably thought he was going insane.

Didn't stop the guy from holding him until the next puke-fest.

They held a little party at the end of the fourth day when he went three hours without being sick and the throbbing in his head was little more than a mild agony. He also got to go home.

KPKPKPKPKP

Washing the dishes in companionable silence Kurt smiled at his almost step-brother. It was amazing how quickly they'd buried the hatchet while looking after Puck and spending so much time in the same place. Their parents had also sprung it on them, on the few times they had been home, that they were getting married. Kurt had insisted they allow him to organise everything, once he had the time of course. He suspected his Dad had wanted to get it done as quickly as possible but that would never do, at least not at the moment.

Finn hung up the dish cloth and breathed a big sigh, leaning back on the counter.

Kurt jumped up on the counter to at least be of a height with him.

They just enjoyed the silence for a full couple of minutes. If Finn felt like he did then Kurt knew he must be exhausted. They'd both still had to go to school for most of each day, as well taking it in shifts to give Mrs Puckerman a break. While not out of the woods Puck had actually slept a full six hours last night, which was a minor miracle according to him; Kurt's rendition of a Tom Jones ballad may have helped. He had snuggled up with Puck but been unable to sleep himself; every time Puck's breath changed Kurt had held his own in fear. Although he knew Puck was not on the verge of dying or anything like that he could not help it. When someone looked as frail as Puck did it was difficult not to think the slightest thing could push him off the edge.

The weight loss may have been the worst. From being such a strong and powerful person, in just the physical sense, Puck's loss of body mass totally changed how he was. Before when he made a threat, even in jest, it was backed by his sheer physicality. Now it was sadly funny, this thin guy, still broader than Kurt but of the same height, making proclamations of busting someone's ass – yet seemingly unable to do so. Kurt was pretty sure Puck would still give it a go though, if he wanted, so there was that. Besides, he knew from google about this kind of weight loss, once able to eat again Puck would soon put the weight back on.

"You know," Finn said, breaking their reverie. "I think he's gonna make it."

Kurt smiled and gave him a 'brotherly' hug. "Yeah, I think so too."

Tbc…


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hi everybody, sorry for the delay but back on track and here's a chapter with a bit of fluff and Purt happiness... relatively speaking. To all the reviewers and to those that just read, thank you very much. Here it is:**_

_[Previously:__Puck's got cancer but only Kurt figured it out, now everyone knows. Finn and Kurt were kind of fighting but sorted it out, even though Finn caught them kissing... anyway, Puck's just had major puke inducing treatment so that he can try and you know, live. Puck was going to give up but Kurt talked him around, I think his Mom had something to do with it. They might be boyfriends now but I don't know, and that's what you missed on - Always Shout Fire.]_

Chapter 9

_From: mountainjew_

[surgery tomorrow night:( need a pick me up]

_From: homosapienhomo_

[didnt think u up for such things… & when did u change ur name on my phone?]

_From: mountainjew_

[jeez, u homos always bout the sex – come sing to me… u chnged ur name back on mine 1st]

_From: homosapienhomo_

[kay, over soon… leave the name its funny & makes F mad!]

_From: mountainjew_

[u have a real evil streak]

_From: homosapienhomo_

[pot, kettle… Puck!]

KPKPKPKPKPKPKP

Mrs Puckerman watched while trying to remain unobtrusive as Noah and Kurt did their normal thing on the couch. Kurt had arrived rather early and mostly they just chatted, sometimes playing some songs and other times just in comfortable silence. She was happy Noah had someone like that at a time like this. Sure she loved Finn but he was not exactly good at talking like Kurt obviously was. Finn wouldn't hesitate to carry Noah to the bathroom when he was at his worst but one heart to heart and the poor kid was looking for a way to leave. Funny that it had always been this way. Noah had made poor choices, she knew this better than anyone, but for the most part they were not selfish decisions, just bad ones. With Finn it was usually always about him; and all their lives she had watched Noah enable him, always eager to make his best friend happy.

Kurt made some joke and Noah laughed loudly, Mrs Puckerman hid her own smile as she folded the sheets. There was a time when she thought she would never hear that laugh again. Now it was not only possible but a very good chance Noah would be okay. Surgery was not a cure but the doctors were confident they could remove the primary tumour and that left only the secondary which, with regular radiology, had a good chance of being forced into remission. She risked a glance at the two of them and could not hide another grin. It was quite evident there was more going on there than just friendship but like his female friends she would not be nosy, well maybe a little. Sure she had her moments when she pushed him to find a nice Jewish girl but a mother could dream couldn't she? At least this one can't get pregnant.

She instantly scolded herself for the thought.

Whatever her thoughts on Noah and Quinn and the fact it had disaster written all over it from the very start – the result was she now had a grandchild. One she may never meet, or not for a long time but someday she expected a knock on the door. On that day she hoped Noah was still around to answer any questions Beth would have. The possibility that she would have to tell Beth all about who her father _was_, was all too real and she shook the image out of her head.

Another bout of laughter issued forth, this time from Kurt.

Taking the washing out of the room Mrs Puckerman decided to give them some privacy; a mother knew when to hover and when to make scarce.

Tomorrow was a big day and she needed to find some more housework to take her mind off it.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

Kurt watched Mrs Puckerman leave the room and turned back to Puck.

"She knows, I can tell – not that I have experience with the parents of people I've kissed but I just know she knows."

Chuckling hard Puck dug a toe into Kurt's ribs. Having his feet in Kurt's lap was now a habit whenever they were on the couch together. "Of course she knows, she's like omniscient or something, and I-kissed-you."

"Oh," answered Kurt absently. "I can barely remember, since there hasn't been a repeat performance I was sure it was a fluke."

"Don't even bother getting all prissy about it Hummel, no-one forgets their first kiss with the Puckosaur and I told you then it was not a one-off."

"Well," smiled Kurt, feeling a little reassured. "I guess you have been busy ever since."

Noah went serious and put his hand in Kurt's. "This is a conversation we need to have but not today."

"I know," Kurt squeezed and tried not to notice how evident Puck's knuckles were. The treatment had been successful in reducing his tumour but Puck had not put any weight back on. It was a minor miracle the doctors gave the go ahead for surgery, so frail Puck appeared. Then again, they had to go in before it grew back. Puck's attitude had actually improved to the point he would not hear of failure anymore; quite the change from his demeanour a couple of weeks ago.

"Hey," insisted Puck, and brought their heads together. He brushed his lips against Kurt's and this time, in the house and away from all the medical machines and hospital sheets Kurt felt the tingle and thrill he knew should have been there the first time. Even though the kiss was over far too soon and it was obvious Puck just did not have the energy for it Kurt loved every second of it.

"I'm gonna beat this thing Kurt, and then I'll kiss you for real… and other stuff." He leered and Kurt laughed.

Only Noah Puckerman could say 'other stuff' and make it sound dirtier than a to-do list in a brothel.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

Walking into the room Finn had to stomp loudly, seeing the two of them quite close together. He knew they were sort of together but it was weird to see and besides, they had plans today.

Stomping didn't work so he coughed quietly.

They just kept staring into each other's eyes, ignoring Finn completely.

"Dudes, I know you know I'm here."

"Always the cock-block Hudson," muttered Puck cheerfully.

"Noah, language!" yelled Mrs Puckerman from a far off room.

Finn cringed. How did she do that? They had never got away with anything when she was home, and even when she wasn't most of the time. How Puck had managed to be such a delinquent with a mother who seemingly knew all his moves was a very interesting question.

"We have places to be," Finn stated, looking at Kurt.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot," said Kurt, trying to appear meek but failing miserably. The longer they lived together the more Finn could pick Kurt's mannerisms. Most of them were fine but sometimes he was really manipulative and he suspected Mr Hummel knew it better than anyone but said nothing. Not that Finn could complain, his Mom let him get away with anything, the plight of being only children of former single parents he guessed.

"Noah," said Kurt. "You need to get dressed," he plucked at the other boy's white t-shirt. "Something more 'going to the movies' than 'acting in one'."

"And arguing against it would be futile," stated Puck.

"Arguing _would_ waste time," explained Kurt.

"Fine," sighed Puck, rising up and heading to his bedroom.

Finn took his place on the couch, but refused to put his legs over Kurt. In return Kurt grinned at him, probably guessing his thoughts.

"You were supposed to have him ready," said Finn quietly. "Rachel has everything timed to perfection."

Snorting in amusement Kurt flipped his hair back. "She'll just make everyone rehearse one more time, of course that might drive Santana to homicide and all our suffering will end."

"Are you ever going to like my girlfriend?"

"I like Rachel just fine."

"Yet you take every chance to pick at her."

"Eh," shrugged Kurt. "I am what I am."

"When you two have stopped feeling each other up I'm ready to go," said Puck, walking past the couch.

Looking down Finn saw that his knee _was_ touching Kurt's and he quickly moved it and stood up.

Both Puck and Kurt huffed in laughter.

"Jeez Hudson, you worry too much," smiled Puck, grabbing Kurt and pushing him towards the door. "Besides, he is so over you."

Stopping dead, Kurt spun around and eyed Puck, then Finn. "Mmm," he hummed. "Maybe."

As Kurt exited Finn leaned into Puck. "You don't think he still, you know?" he asked worriedly.

Puck shook his head. "Finn, you are my boy but sometimes I think you deserve everything that comes your way… I mean that."

"Um, thanks, I think." Finn frowned as Puck left too. He had the feeling he was being mocked but couldn't quite work out how.

KPKPKPKPKP

"Sit, and behave!" ordered Kurt, and Puck had the irresistible urge to poke out his tongue.

So he did.

"Child."

"I am what I am."

Kurt huffed, not appreciating having his words thrown back at him. "Will you sit if I join you and hold your hand?"

Puck considered. It was rather innocent but then excepting Finn he had not shown any intimacy with Kurt in front of others. Its not that he didn't really want to, just they had not discussed anything yet.

"Sorry," Kurt seemed to understand the dilemma. "I'll just sit, but pay attention – they've put a lot of effort in this."

"You're not joining them?" asked Puck, confused.

"I've been, um, kind of busy with school work," explained Kurt. There was more to it Puck was sure but the lights dimmed in the auditorium and he had to keep quiet as the music started up.

The sound was orchestral but a little blues and rhythm.

Rachel strutted out into the spotlight and smiled down at them.

"From us to our favourite bad boy, a kind of good luck song – hope you like it Puck, the words do remind us a little of you."

She snapped her fingers and lights opened up on the band to the side. They ramped up the melody and Rachel did a few dance steps before beginning to sing.

_Would you like to swing on a star  
Carry moonbeams home in a jar  
And be better off than you are  
Or would you rather be a mule?_

The rest of the Glee club trotted out to the stage, dressed in nightclub suits and sequinned dresses. Artie rolled out and pumped out the next verse.  
_  
A mule is an animal with long funny ears  
Kicks up at anything he hears  
His back is brawny and his brain is weak  
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak  
And by the way, if you hate to go to school  
You may grow up to be a mule_

Puck laughed and tapped his foot to the beat. He did hate school, or at least pretend to and did love this kind of music and they must have known that. He was worried they would do some soppy ballad full of good luck and hopes for the future. Thankfully someone must have persuaded them to go this way, if his hunch was correct that someone was sitting right next to him.

They all joined in for the chorus.  
_  
Or would you like to swing on a star  
Carry moonbeams home in a jar  
And be better off than you are  
Or would you rather be a pig?_Mercedes had the next verse, her blood red dress sparkling in the spotlight and Puck was taken a little back. He had always thought she was hot but like this she was glowing, and although he would never admit to using the word, fabulous.

_A pig is an animal with dirt on his face  
His shoes are a terrible disgrace  
He ain't got no manners when he eats his food  
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude  
But if you don't care a feather or a fig  
You may grow up to be a pig_

He couldn't help it, his eyes welled up a little bit and although he knew he wouldn't cry it was a close thing. Here they all were, singing for him – something he never even thought he would want. Now he knew how others had felt, the joy and the feeling of belonging. These were his friends, true friends who would not let him down. He did it without looking, finding Kurt's hand and clasping it in his own and as they started the next chorus he knew that some of them saw it and just smiled knowingly.

Or would you like to swing on a star  
Carry moonbeams home in a jar  
And be better off than you are  
Or would you rather be a fish?

Finn sang the next verse, looking totally uncomfortable in a suit with tails.  
_  
A fish won't do anything, but swim in a brook  
He can't write his name or read a book  
And to fool the people is his only thought  
And though he's slippery, he still gets caught  
But then if that sort of life is what you wish  
You may grow up to be a fish_Everyone joined in to finish the number off, even Mr Shue coming in from the wings. They all danced and kicked their legs up in a chorus line, true Broadway style.

_And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo  
Every day you meet quite a few  
So you see it's all up to you  
You can be better than you are  
You could be swingin' on a star_

_You can be better than you are_

_You could be swingin' on a star_

They each walked forward blowing him a kiss (yes even the guys) in sequence as Rachel, true diva that she was, absolutely sang the hell out of the chorus one last time.

_So you see it's up to you_

_You can be better than you are_

_You could be swingin,_

_You-could-be-swingin'..._

_On A Staaaarrrrrr._

KPKPKPKPKPKPKP

"Best get you home on time little lady," Kurt said in a really terrible Southern accent.

"Best find a dumpster nearby 'cause someone's askin' for the ole' Puck to come out," he answered in the same accent, just better done in Puck's own opinion. He glared at Kurt as he tried to drive and laugh and Puck threw up his hands. "Really? Are we being that juvenile?"

Kurt took breath to regain what Puck supposed was a semblance of composure. "If you're going to threaten me with dumpsters I reserve the right to mock you about... [snort snort chuckle] coming out."

"Finn, little help," Puck threw to his friend in the back seat. "Finn?"

"Sorry dude, texting Rachel, she just needed to know once again how awesome her performance was."

"Oh great Moses," cursed Puck. "You know, when I'm in the hospital tomorrow I'm gonna ask them if someone's nutsack can be reattached because I am positive my best friend has his sitting on his girlfriend's dresser."

"You'll be too busy checking out the nurses," retorted Finn. "Sorry Kurt."

"Oh that's fine," said Kurt, turning the corner. "So will I, last time there was this one guy – can't remember a name, like it matters, had buns so tight in those nurse scrubs I almost forgot where Noah's room was."

"Kurt!"

"Awesome," said Puck, wondering if he and Finn suddenly had their roles reversed. Shouldn't he be upset Kurt was checking out other guys – then again its not as if they were anything solid yet. Also he didn't want to be someone who couldn't continue to enjoy the finer things in life, like a well toned backside.

They pulled up in front of Puck's house and he got out.

Turning to Kurt and Finn, who had jumped into the front seat he raised his eyebrows. "Is no-one going to offer to walk me to the door?"

He was answered with laughter as Kurt drove off, blowing him a kiss through the windshield.

As he watched the vehicle turn off down the street Puck could not help but grin. Tomorrow was going to be shitty but just for today, he'd had a great time.

Tbc...


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The pre-op meds were starting to take effect but Puck knew he only had this small window of opportunity. Sitting on the bed beside him was his best friend and right now, his best and most trusted friend.

"It's not like you need to ask," complained Finn. "You know I'd do it anyway and you're not going to die."

"Shit happens," said Puck. "Especially when someone is digging into your brain – I need to know they'll be okay."

"If it makes you happy then fine, I'll watch over your mother and sister – especially Mary since it is kind of obvious she is going to be like you, just in female form."

"You calling my sister a slut in waiting," growled Puck in mock anger.

Finn wasn't buying it however and shook his head with a smile. "How 'bout bad ass in the making, I hear she already rules her hockey team."

"Okay, I'll agree to that," muttered Puck. It was true, Mary really was turning out like him in many ways but there was one he wanted her to avoid. "But make sure nothing holds her back," he took a breath to say the next. "Or no-one."

Finn gave him a very serious look. "Puck I've known you all my life, I knew you when you were Noah – I've never known anyone to stand in your way."

He locked eyes with Finn, willing him to understand but Puck suddenly realised Finn may never see it, never understand. To tell him would be just cruel so Puck shrugged. "Maybe I didn't mean it that way, just see that she doesn't accept anything but the best, no second place for my sister."

"Got it... but not necessary, you're going to be fine."

"So everyone says Hudson, better hug me then and get Mary the hell in here."

KPKPKPKPKPKP

It was obvious that Finn was quite disturbed when he exited the room and Kurt squinted his eyes in thought. What could Puck have said to upset his friend?

"Mary, Noah said to get your butt in there," said Finn, smiling at Mrs Puckerman to show they were not his exact words but he would not curse in front of her. "I'll be downstairs with Rachel, she said something about singing to the cancer kids and I'm not sure if she knows how to deal with children... or anyone," he muttered the last which made Kurt chuckle.

"Hey Finn," asked Kurt, before he could leave. "What's wrong, you look like the world just fell in."

Hanging his head but glancing briefly at Mrs Puckerman again Finn sighed. "I just realised something, about me and Puck, and I feel pretty bad about it."

Walking up and kissing him on the cheek Mrs Puckerman smiled. "I've waited years to hear that Finn, thank you – and now, stop worrying about it."

"But all those times, and I never thought-."

"Stop," commanded Mrs Puckerman. "You are who you are, and so is he. Noah does not regret things, especially what he does for his friends."

"I am sorry though," said Finn quietly.

"And you'll have all the time in the world to make it different for next time," said Mrs Puckerman and shoved Finn gently.

Waiting until he'd gone Kurt got a cup of water and one for her. Giving it to Mrs P (as he'd affectionately started calling her) he could not resists asking. "What was that about?"

She smiled. "Boys growing up."

"Oh," he said, completely not getting it. "You know its funny, Finn talks about you like a second mother but until now I thought you didn't really like him."

She stared at Kurt in surprise. "I guess I have been harsh lately, but I do love him like a son – he just frustrates me, well they both do." She settled in the thankfully comfortable hospital chair and patted the seat next to her, Kurt quickly complied.

"Those boys have been friends since they were in nappies," she explained. "If there was one you could be sure you would find the other and I was so happy my boy had a true friend. It was hard sometimes, for him to let people in. My husband was still around back then and he was... not a nice man."

She stared off into space for a moment, probably remembering bad memories and Kurt said nothing.

"I guess its one of those things, the more someone mistreats you the more you pine for their approval. But by the age of six Noah must have realised his father would always care more about the whisky bottle than him, so he turned to the only other guy in his life, his best friend Finn." She tapped Kurt's knee for emphasis. "Until last year the sun rose and set with Finn, according to Noah. It was not an infatuation but an attachment, Noah would do almost anything to ensure his friend was okay."

Kurt felt his cheeks redden in embarrassment, wondering if she knew about his crush on Finn. At least that was well and truly over, he had a new crush now and one that returned his affection, of course much as he suspected she knew he was not going to say it.

Her slight smile when she looked at him though spoke volumes. "Finn I think, has that power over a lot of people. They just want him to like them, or they want to make sure he's happy. It's not really his fault I guess, but he can take advantage and that is when I get cross." She waved her hands for emphasis. "Do you know how many times Noah gave up the things he wanted to keep Finn happy? Too many. Finn wanted to play baseball when they were eight, Noah didn't but joined up with his friend. He had just got into soccer and loved it, but quit that when Finn didn't like it."

She finished the water and crumpled the cup. Kurt took the ruined paper without a word.

"Finn was always the smaller too, until they were about fourteen when he shot up like a beanstalk. So before that guess who had to protect him? You think my son was always into fighting? He has a gentle soul, the soul of a poet."

Kurt restrained himself from snorting. He didn't doubt that Puck had a gentle part and he loved his music but he doubted Finn was solely responsible for Puck's brute physical nature.

"They were both picked on, kids are cruel but especially so when the differences are obvious – and a lack of fathers made them stand out. Noah could stand up for himself and did the same for Finn. I saw it once, after school – there was my Noah, all of eleven years, standing up to three boys bigger than him, keeping himself between them and Finn. By the time I intervened Noah had a bloody nose and black eye, Finn had just stood back because Noah would not let him fight. It was his job to protect his friend." Her eyes watered and Kurt took her hand. He knew she was venting and she knew that Puck was responsible for his own decisions, but then he knew his Dad found it hard to see the wrong in him. Parents were really one-eyed about such things.

"Oh and football," she suddenly exclaimed. "Noah hates the thing. He once called it nothing more than a bunch of padded up knuckle-draggers incapable of going in any direction but forwards – he said even a dodo bird could walk backwards and _they'd_ died from stupidity."

Kurt couldn't help but laugh. All these years he'd called the football team Neanderthals and it seems Puck had been in secret agreement with him.

"_Ma_, he told me when I suggested he try it, _there is no skill in what they do, no art_." She laughed a little too, then her expression went grim. "Then Finn decided he needed to play football so he could be the quarter back and be popular. Next thing Noah is signed up and playing a game he hates, making sure he was there to help Finn get what he wanted."

"But then Puck, sorry Noah, slept with Finn's girlfriend?" asked Kurt, not wanting to argue with her but seeing a serious flaw in her description of her son's relationship with Finn.

She nodded. "He thinks I don't know but things were said, feelings hurt. Next thing Noah gets the girl pregnant." She looked at Kurt meaningfully. "Finn touched a nerve before that whole business, one that set Noah off into a world of self-hate and destruction." Pausing she shook her head. "I shouldn't blame Finn too much but I couldn't help it."

"What did he say?" Kurt could not help but ask.

"I'm sorry Kurt, that is for Noah to tell you."

Kurt knew by the set expression that she would not divulge anything so he nodded, accepting that. A whole range of possibilities went through his head though, what the hell had Finn said?

KPKPKPKPKP

Kurt giggled and pulled back, staring at Puck.

"I still cannot believe I'm kissing Noah Puckerman, man-slut of all Lima and probably surrounding towns."

Looking into his own lap Puck sighed. "Nothing, damn meds!"

"Say it again," said Kurt with a smile. "This time without slurring."

"Screw you."

Kurt leaned in to whisper in his ear. "Its on the list."

"List?" asked Noah, his words becoming more unintelligible.

"Yeah," explained Kurt as the orderlies entered and starting getting the bed ready to be moved. "Things like, go sky-diving, sing a solo on stage, ride a horse naked. The things to do when you get out of here."

Puck giggled incoherently. "Heh heh, nekked."

Rolling his eyes Kurt moved out of the way. "I think he's well and truly ready."

KPKPKPKPKPKP

The world was starting to blur around the edges as Puck was wheeled out of his room and into the corridor. He turned to see his mother standing, holding his sister close and refusing to break in front of him. He loved her so much for that because he knew how much this was breaking her but for all her faults she was a strong woman. He had heard her crying in her room at night, when she thought he was sleeping; if he could take this all away from her he would.

Then he remembered Kurt's words.

He was right. Much as all of this stressed out his family and caused them grief, especially if he didn't make it, they would be more heartbroken to realise he had given up to save them any suffering.

She smiled and blew him a kiss.

Next to them was Finn, that goofy smile across his face marred only a little by sadness. Rachel clung to him, she too blew him a kiss and Puck laughed a little inside.

There but for the grace of god.

The rest of his friends had turned up too.

Quinn, eyes glistening with unshed tears, holding hands with Sam.

Tina and Mike, for once Tina not in goth – perhaps thinking it was bad taste but Puck was disappointed. He had imagined seeing her in some black nurses outfit, which would have been hot.

He tried to smile at Santana but in his quickening lethargy it probably came out as a leer. She would understand. Brittany was by her side of course, their linked hands not hidden.

Artie grinned at him, like Finn it was not quite right but his was more uncomfortable and Puck thought he understood. Artie probably hated hospitals more than Puck. Mr Shue and Mercedes stood behind his chair, both nodding at him solemnly.

Carol was with Mr Hummel (or Burt as the guy had insisted but that just seemed wrong when you are almost dating his son), she had tears in her eyes and it brought back all the times she had been there for him as a kid, treating his cut knee with a band-aid and kiss or bruised ego with a hug, just as she would Finn.

His world started to turn grey just as he spotted a few red jackets. Too late to make out faces he realised some of the team had turned up too.

Which is why with his last ounce of consciousness he held up his fist.

"Later Bitches!"

"Noah Puckerman!" he heard his mother exclaim before the grey turned to black.

Tbc…


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Adjusting his fedora Puck sneaked a grin at Kurt, by his side, as they walked down the school hallway. He was not afraid of people seeing his head bandaged up but Kurt had insisted on the hat, and how could he refuse.

It was strange, he had been gone for over a month but the school seemed totally unchanged. Not exactly sure what should be different Puck just felt it was a little wrong. They came to his locker and Kurt laughed a little as he opened the one next to Puck's.

"Sorry," he explained. "Perhaps a little stalker like but I managed to swap it with some first year, seems being 'connected' with _the_ Puck has its advantages."

"More than you can imagine," leered Puck, taking the chance to pin Kurt against the lockers.

"Really?" Kurt's eyebrow rose. "Here, and now?" He checked his watch. "By the way Noah, do you have the time?"

Ignoring the second question Puck responded with his own raised and wriggling eyebrows. "Well there's always the janitor's closet."

"Absolutely not, I'm wearing Versace."

"Not for long."

Kurt slapped Puck's wandering hand and the pain seemed oddly blunt. It was a light hit but kind of strange. The other noises in the hall dulled for a second and Puck thought, just for a moment he heard a strange beeping sound, like a truck reversing.

"Hey guys," greeted Finn, Rachel by his side.

Puck fist bumped his friend and saw Kurt give Rachel a light kiss on the cheek.

Since when did those two become such good friends?

"Dude, you listening?"

"Sorry man, what?" asked Puck, not having heard whatever Finn was blathering about.

"I said we're going to have a pre-ball get together at Rachel's tonight, and do you have the time Noah?."

"Pre-ball?" Puck was dumb-founded, what in Moses was that?

"The winter ball," Kurt said, giving him a worried look. "We've only been getting ready for it all week, the clothes, the dance lessons... the hotel room."

"Kurt!" Finn almost shrieked and then turned to Puck. "Dude?"

"Um," Puck had nothing to say. This was all so confusing. Hadn't he still been in hospital last week. How could he have been preparing for a ball. To avoid having to look as stupid as he felt he stared at his feet.

His bare feet.

Wriggling some toes he wondered if he should feel so normal standing in the hall with no shoes?

"Noah," asked Kurt, concern in his voice. "What's wrong."

"Where are my shoes?" replied Puck, looking into his boyfriend's eyes.

Kurt glanced down and smirked. "I hazard a guess they're on your feet."

Looking back Puck frowned as he now had his trusty boots on.

"This isn't right," he muttered, staring at Kurt, then Finn.

He turned around and gave the hall a close inspection, and the people in it. Things began to stand out. A water fountain that had never worked was being used by a student he had never seen. Several lockers stood open, their interiors full of medical supplies.

And that beeping had started again.

Louder this time and drowning out Kurt's words as he spoke to Puck.

Clutching Kurt's hand Puck had to shout.

"What's happening!"

But it wasn't Kurt anymore, it was Quinn. Hair plastered back with sweat and groaning as she clutched her swollen belly with her other hand.

"Noah! Its coming, oh it hurts – the time Noah, is it time?"

Pulling his hand away in shock Puck turned to run and collided with another body, this one the principle.

"Mr Puckerman," said the smaller man. "Loitering in the hall during class, what time do you think this is? Detention I think is on order."

"What," spluttered Puck. "I'm not... classes haven't-." The hall was now empty, even the principle gone.

He had to get out.

_Losing blood pressure_

Puck ran down the hall, trying to get to the exit they had entered only minutes ago, but there was only wall, doors were locked and the hall stretched out for seemingly ever.

Falling to his knees Puck clutched at his head, the fedora was gone and when he looked at his hands they were covered in blood.

_There's a bleed but I can't find it, how many units have we gone through_

The blood faded from his hands and Puck felt more than saw the school hall fade from around him. Now he kneeled on a grassy field, much like a football field but this one had netted goals.

A soccer field!

"Puckerman!" yelled a man dressed in a tight fitting black jersey. "Get up, get moving!"

"What?" He ducked as a ball shot passed his head and a half-dozen players ran past.

The man in black was suddenly in his face. "What's wrong Puckerman, up too late with the band again? I've told you before, prioritize or get off my team! If you can't organise the time then I will not do it for you."

"I'm not on -." Puck's response was interrupted as the ball smashed into his face, flipping him onto his back so all he could see was blue sky.

_We're losing him, get the paddles ready_

Out of the blue a single snow-flake floated down, alighting on his nose and Puck almost went cross-eyed watching it melt.

Another fell and Puck laughed at the feeling, the slight sting then tickling cold. He caught another on his tongue and it tasted not of ice but coffee.

Caffeine snow, cool he thought.

Dressed in only a dark v-neck shirt and thin jeans he wondered why he wasn't freezing now that he was surrounded by mounds of powdery snow.

A frozen pond was to his right and he leaned down and brushed a hand across its glassy surface – it was warm.

"I am Jewish!" he yelled at no-one in particular. "I don't believe in hell!"

A high pitched laugh tinkled across the landscape and a figure skated across the pond. Sleek and definitely feminine with a white and gold snow-suit, goggles and all. She came to a sliding halt and looked him up and down.

"If this is hell then we are both in trouble," she said, with a voice full of smiles and laughter. He could not help but grin at her, and not in a lecherous way. She just radiated joy.

Raising the goggles he stared into blue-grey eyes beneath brunette bangs.

"Come," she commanded, holding out a hand.

He did not hesitate and grabbed hold, her stature belying the strength she had as she pulled him out onto the pond, somehow he now had skates on and they glided in slow circles. The landscape was both familiar and not. He could almost think they were in Lima by the looks of the frosted trees and dilapidated playground to the side but the weather was all wrong and the air too sweet, too fresh.

"It is beautiful isn't it?" she asked, linking their arms and Puck felt a familiarity there, in both the feel of her body and her voice. As if he had known her in some previous life even though he was sure he had never met her in this one. If he was still alive?

_Found it! Suction – good, now just to... damn!_

"Is this... am I?" he couldn't say the words.

They skirted a particularly heavy mound of snow and she turned a full lipped smile to him. Those lips, not quite the same but that feeling of knowing.

"This is something, at least to you – I cannot describe what it is to you, because it is what it is to me."

He snorted. "Sounds like hippy bullshit to me."

She laughed again, heat radiated out from her as she did so; enveloping him like pure happiness.

"Oh I like you," she said. "Up front with no vacillating – that is who you are is it not Noah?"

"Lady, I don't think anyone knows who I am, most of all me," he smirked at his honesty, here it seemed he did not need to put on any masks.

She skidded them to a halt and held his face with a soft and heated hand.

"A resolute man," she said, her voice well educated but without snobbery. Firm but welcoming; a nurturing voice. "That is what is needed."

He shrugged. "Needed for what, isn't this the end?"

"No dude, no endings here," said Sam, skating by.

"Nothing ever ends dumb ass," sneered Santana, moving in the opposite direction.

"It just changes, you know, like a unicorns eye," Brittany spoke, having appeared quite suddenly in Santana's arms.

As he saw them he saw more people, people he knew. All were skating in and around him on the pond, most more graceful than he was sure they could be in real life.

He and the woman, still holding him, started moving along. All the while everyone weaved around them, throwing knowing glances.

"You know what they say Noah," said the woman. "So many things change but still they remain the same."

"Hippy-."

"Bullshit, yes I know," she grinned and spun him around, pushing him to the edge where he wavered and fell into a mound of snow. As he lifted his face to call her a name they were not on a frozen pond anymore.

They were in the choir room at school.

The woman, now dressed in a white summer frock, walked around the room and smiled indulgently.

"I think I can see why you like it, it is a place where anyone can be someone-."

"Yeah," sneered Puck in good humour, "And someone can be anyone."

"Ah!" she clapped her hands. "He learns."

Puck cocked his head, the way she said that was like déjà vu.

Stopping to sit next to him he was once more hit by the blue-grey eyes. "A safe place, for dangerous ideas."

He snorted. "Listen, we may dance up a storm and sing stuff that would get me rainbow slushied – but dangerous ideas? What's that about?"

Her joy turned a little dark, he could not say how he knew but it was like the light in the room dimmed just that small fraction. "Sometimes the idea of what can be, the thought of the very thing – is more threatening than the thing itself... that is why a resolute man is needed, one who stays the course and is determined to make change, no matter the price."

"I think I've already changed things up," explained Puck. "I mean, me and Hummel, that's like-."

She shushed him with a finger to his lips. "You talk of what _is_, I am speaking of what can be."

"I don't, wait, where are we now?" he asked as the room changed to a footpath, one he recognised as downtown Lima. Kurt passed them, talking into his phone.

"Yeah I know, but five minutes won't change that – look, I'll be back in time for dinner, and tell Puck he has to practice with his thighs," Kurt giggled at the response he was obviously getting. "Just tell him alright!" he sniggered and hung up.

Puck went to call out but the woman just shook her head.

They followed Kurt as he walked down the street, around the corner and he entered a hardware store, which Puck felt was pretty weird. They waited and a few minutes later he exited, totally walking by them without a flicker of recognition.

As he reached the alley hands reached out and pulled him in, not even time was allowed for him to yell.

Puck tried to run after Kurt but the woman held him fast, her strength unbelievable.

"No," she whispered. "What _can_ be, remember – not what is."

Wanting to argue Puck felt her patience and calm wash over him – this was not real, it was not happening.

A few minutes later she sighed and led him to the alley.

It was innocuous, nothing seemed amiss.

Until Puck saw a slim hand, limp and blood covered, jutting out from behind the dumpster. Again she held him back as he tried to move.

"It is too late," she said softly, a tear running down her cheek. "And the sight would do you no good."

"But why, how can this be?"

"That's just it," she explained. "It is not."

They were suddenly surrounded by the entire Glee club.

"Not to be, not this time," muttered Tina.

"Or certain to happen everytime," argued Artie.

"It depends upon a maybe, balanced by a perhaps," Mike shrugged.

_Charging_

"So many things we cannot change," sighed Mr Shue. "We just never have the time."

"Yet we must try," countered Sam. "Before is certain, now is must – but cannot, can _be, or not_."

"I can't allow this to happen," growled Puck. "What use is life if this is how it ends?"

"That is the choice Noah," those eyes filled his vision again, so familiar. "Live? Or survive?"

_Clear_

"The same damned thing," he shouted at her.

"Nothing," she said a little angrily, holding his head in her hands, her fingers pressing into his skull to the point of agony. "Is ever the same."

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded, through tears of pain and confusion.

"You know a part of me," she explained, her voice thinning as his awareness dropped.

"And that is the part you must save."

Suddenly he was in his bedroom, Finn standing before him.

"Hey dude, got the time," asked Finn.

Puck brought up his watch but instead of the analogue face there was just a green line, running flat.

"Sorry," he said to his friend.

"Time's up."

KPKPKPKPKPKP

Kurt sighed inwardly as the doctor approached. She had a stressed expression but still held a half smile.

She would not have that if things had gone wrong.

"Good news," she said to Mrs Puckerman. "Noah is okay, we had some trouble and I had to revive him but he came through it and I believe we have excised the tumour successfully."

Slumping in his seat Kurt let a breath he felt like he'd been holding for the three long hours of the operation. Noah was okay.

Everything was going to be okay.

Tbc...

_Author's note: I know, a little different and dreamscape like, but that is what you get for near-death experiences. I feel like I have treated Puck like a punching bag, throwing him through so much hell you wonder how anyone could get through? Well, he is Puck!_

_Thanks again to all the reviewers and other readers, what a delight to get so much positive feedback and to know that many of you are on the same emotional roller coaster as you read this, as when I write it. Hopefully there is some happy times to come, but then again, this is not all about the happy now, is it?_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Hearing the surgery was successful was one thing, seeing Puck with a multitude of tubes snaking in and out of him, with machines humming and his head swathed in bandages, was quite another.

The monitor's steady rhythm proved Puck's heart was beating but it was hard to believe he was actually going to be okay. Kurt avoided looking too closely at Puck's face, the bruising around his eyes, the little he could see of them beneath the bandages, was terrible and his lips were dry and cracked around the respirator tube. His skin was probably the worst. So pale and with a truly unhealthy grey tinge – the nurse had said it was the special meds he was on mixed with the fluorescent lights.

Kurt did not want to use the word corpse but that is what he felt he was looking at. He glanced guiltily at Mrs P but she had eyes only for her son. A shaking hand holding a lime green handkerchief was her only real tell that this may be her breaking point, except for the tears glistening in her eyes. Carol, standing by Kurt, must have noticed too and quickly enveloped the other woman in a hug and led her to a chair.

They whispered and Kurt could only hear a word here and there.

Words like: my baby, shouldn't be, can't lose him.

Slightly different words but Kurt had heard them before.

People bemoaning the unfairness of it all, muttering their prayers and trying to not mention the word death in front of a young Kurt Hummel.

She had died anyway, no matter how unfair it was, nor how many loved ones she left behind.

That was the first time, but not the last, that Kurt had realised that life was not necessarily beautiful or cruel, good or bad. It just _was_ and those bad things could happen just as easily as the good. He did not think it made him a pessimist. Maybe he just tried to be a realist. This time however he had something he had not with his mother – hope.

When his Dad had been in hospital it had happened so quickly he'd had no time to ponder the how and why, he'd had to work hard at doing something, anything, to help his Dad that hope and anything like it had been like a far off land. Reachable but not really attainable.

Puck's illness was not sudden, it had happened pretty quickly once they all knew but not overnight. His Mother had known her chances were next to non-existent and being the woman she was she had prepared her young son for the worst, even if no-one else at the time had thought to do so. Kurt did not want to keep comparing this with the loss of his Mom but how could he not?

He also knew there was little more he could do now than he could back then, or with his Dad.

All he could do was be here.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

Watching Kurt flick through the magazine Finn sighed and absently picked at a fingernail. It had been three days and still Puck showed no sign of waking up. Nor should he, since the doctors had said they were purposely keeping him under to help with the healing. His body had been through an incredible amount of trauma, what with the operation and actually being dead for a few minutes, that they were worried his system may crash if they woke him.

Finn knew all this but still worried that Puck was not looking any better. The bruising had lessened and his skin was now only pale instead of grey but he looked so strange buried amongst the tubes and machines. Kurt had said it earlier, so small.

It was true.

Puck, the scourge of McKinley (yes he had used the term himself), was just a gaunt looking pale boy needing a machine to help him breath and never moving, not even a finger. If this was a TV show Finn knew that at some point, probably if they asked him with tears in their eyes, Puck would move his pinkie and open his eyes.

Not so however, the doctors had been quite clear to expect nothing while they had him pumped full of so many drugs.

So much as he was worried about Puck there was a part of Finn that considered Kurt and wondered what was going on. Kurt had been friendly, in a remote kind of way, but was definitely giving him the cold shoulder. Not quite at the level of Faggy-gate, but something was up. So Finn did what he did best.

"What have I done Kurt?" No need to work up to it, he knew Kurt well enough by now to just hit the issue head on.

His response was to slowly turn the page of whatever gossip magazine he was reading and recross his legs, only sparing Finn a cursory glance.

"Kurt?"

There was a pause. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

Getting up to sit next to him Finn forced the magazine shut. "Yes you do."

Kurt sighed loudly. "I don't think this is the time or place." He looked straight at Puck as he spoke and Finn nodded, then shook his head.

"Whatever it is Puck must be involved, this is the _perfect_ place."

A giggle caught him off guard as Kurt turned to him. "Why Finn Hudson, you notice more than you let on."

"I'm not stupid you know."

"Well not all the time."

"We're brothers now, you have to be nicer to me, its like in the rule book or something."

"Actually," Kurt smiled. "I think siblings are destined to fight, something about survival of the fittest."

"Can we be serious?"

"Fine."

"…"

"Well?"

"I already said it Kurt, what's up?"

"Between you and me you mean?"

"Yeah," answered Finn, and waved between them. "Something's not right and since I'm pretty sure I've done nothing wrong lately you'll have to tell me – I mean I've even been cool about you and Puck."

He saw the ice-queen persona settle over Kurt.

"And why shouldn't you be? Are you saying there's a reason there can't be a me and Puck?"

"No, that's not what I mean and you know it."

Kurt's lips twitched in consternation and he stared at Puck for a half a minute.

"I think Finn, that you may have to tell me."

"Tell you what?" This was so frustrating, Finn was almost certain dealing with a Rachel freak-out was preferable to a Kurt heart-to-heart.

Kurt got up and paced in front of Finn, his hands expressive as he spoke. "Tell me why you think it is your place to be the arbiter of what can and cannot be for the people around you? Tell me why you think you have the right to decide on behalf of others… what makes you entitled to be a 'leader' when all I have ever seen you do is follow?"

Finn knew his jaw may have been hanging open. He thought he and Kurt were past all this, that such problems had been dealt with. Obviously being related to Kurt was going to be a lot harder than just being friends with him.

"I have to be a leader," Finn said hesitantly. "Its my thing."

"Pfffft," Kurt shook his head. "You're always too worried about what other people think to make command decisions, a leader," he paused and Finn noticed his eyes flicked to Puck again. "Is not afraid to follow his heart, to do what is right no matter the consequences."

Finn laughed, knowing it was inappropriate in this room but couldn't stop himself. "You think Puck is that? He never cared what happened to others, only himself."

"That's a lie and you know it."

Rubbing his face in frustration, mostly because he knew Kurt was right, Finn hissed in frustration. "Okay, wait… what was the question again?"

Kurt stopped pacing and frowned, he seemed to be pondering what to say – and Finn knew by his expression he may regret asking it.

"What did you say to Puck to turn him against you?"

KPKPKPKPKPKPKP

Kurt would swear that time stood still for a few seconds as he asked the question.

Finn visibly tensed then shrugged. "What are you talking about?"

Although he knew Finn must know what he meant Kurt played the game and began to explain. "You and Puck were inseparable before he slept with Quinn; best of friends, bros… yet suddenly he ups and sleeps with his best mate's girlfriend." Kurt walked closer to Finn, giving him his best raised eyebrow. "Puck may be a sex shark, well most of the time, but I'm betting even he wouldn't do that unless something drove him to it."

"They were both drunk, it was just a stupid mistake," Finn tried to sound like he actually believed that and failed.

"No," said Kurt flatly and poked Fin's chest. "Maybe before all this I wouldn't have given a damn but since Puck and I are… something – this concerns me now."

"It doesn't matter Kurt, we got past all that."

"All this time," Kurt went on as Finn had said nothing. "We've all seen you as the victim, Puck the aggressor. He betrayed you, Quinn betrayed you and then they conspired to keep it secret... but what did Puck have to gain by saying nothing all that time?"

"He didn't want to hurt me?" suggested Finn lamely.

"He'd already done that by being with her," explained Kurt. "Yet he continued to support you both, when everyone thought you were the baby daddy, getting all the attention and sympathy – why would he do that?"

He watched as Finn stared hard at his best friend, probably willing him to suddenly wake up and answer on his behalf. "Puck is complicated, who knows why he does the things he does."

"True," Kurt acknowledged. He wasn't stupid enough to think Puck was innocent in all this and consistent enough to either be the good guy, or bad. What was important for Kurt, was to try and understand what led to Puck stabbing his best friend in the back, then deciding not to gloat about it. If sleeping with Quinn had been intended to hurt Finn for something said then why not tell the world the instant it happened? Maybe he had really loved Quinn. Pondering this Kurt did not realise Finn had gone to the bed and was laying a hand on Puck's arm.

"There was a time when nothing could come between us, not girls, parents, teachers – anything," Finn whispered, loud enough for Kurt to hear. "He was my one constant, the person that was always there for me."

Saying nothing Kurt joined him, holding Puck's hand. It was cool and his fingers felt too thin; there was no answering squeeze – Puck was too far under.

"He changed things, I didn't," muttered Finn, locking eyes with Kurt. "You have to believe me, I don't blame him anymore, or hate him for it – but I was confused and didn't understand what he was trying to tell me."

Finn's homophobia, his concern over reputations and his constant pressure for Kurt to not 'gay' up others suddenly slid into place.

Kurt stepped back and glared at Finn. "He came out to you didn't he?" Kurt almost hissed. "He tried to open up to you, the one person he thought he could trust with his greatest secret – and you slammed him back in that closet so hard he did the one thing to show himself he could be the 'man' _you_ expected him to be... he slept with your girlfriend."

"Kurt please," said Finn, tears in his eyes. "I'm not that kid anymore, scared and frightened – don't you think I regret doing that to him?"

"Don't you at least know how much you mean to him?" asked Kurt. "You were so important to him that to keep you as his best friend he denied who he was, he became this monster who bullied others, destroyed girl's reputations and became the number one bad-ass in school – virtually guaranteed to prevent him getting into any college." Kurt shook his head. "I'm not angry Finn, funnily enough I kind of understand, but... if you had wanted to be a leader there was your perfect opportunity. You could have led by example, by supporting your best friend."

Watching as Finn almost broke at hearing his words Kurt took pity on him. Nobody was perfect and its not as if Finn wasn't trying. Walking forward he patted Finn's shoulder. "Thank you for telling me Finn, it means a lot. You're here for him now, I think that makes up for the past."

Finn hung his head but gave a little grin. "Thanks Kurt."

KPKPKPKPKPKP

He managed to remain conscious for five minutes the first time. Long enough to be told the surgery was successful, that he would be in hospital for several weeks and to not worry.

Everything was going to be okay.

He hoped so but that dream he'd had, or vision or whatever. It stuck with him and Puck worried every time he saw Kurt, wanting to warn him, to tell him to be careful. He also knew how strange that would sound, and they'd probably give him a psych assessment – and spending any more time than necessary in these rooms was unacceptable.

Every day Puck managed more time awake. Have an hour became two hours, becoming four and after a week he could remain up for most of the daylight hours. The doctors were very happy with his recovery and mentioned the constant visits from his friends and family were quite obviously a good thing.

After the first week he waited until it was only Kurt in the room and took the boy's hand.

"Hey."

Kurt grinned. "Eloquent as always Puckerman."

"I think as my boyfriend you should call me Noah." He almost hesitated on the 'b' word, not because he didn't want it but because he was frightened how Kurt might react.

"Huh," was his response.

Puck raised an eyebrow.

"What I meant to say," said Kurt a little huskily, he said nothing else but leant down and kissed him. Puck returned the kiss as much as possible. His lips were still a little cracked, his mouth dry and thoughts of intimacy too far off.

It was still one of the best kisses he'd ever had.

Finally after all this time he could say that he had someone, someone that he truly wanted to be with. It must have shown in his face.

"Don't look so cocky Noah," whispered Kurt. "You have no idea what having me as a boyfriend will entail."

"And you me," he countered. "I've been kind of unwell this whole time, you have not been able to experience the full Puckperience."

"Oh dear," sighed Kurt dramatically. "Is there anything you won't turn your nickname into?"

"Shut it," ordered Puck. "And get my Mom in here."

"Why?"

He smiled and drew Kurt in for a quick kiss. "Because a lot of things have to change and number one is telling my Mom, and so I can introduce her to my boy... properly."

Tbc...


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

From his bed Puck watched Kurt potter seemingly aimlessly around his room. Picking up objects, a guitar pick or some trophy from the fourth grade (runner-up to Finn of course) and glancing nervously at the array of photographs spread around the edges of Puck's full length mirror. The fact that Kurt had not commented, even to himself, on Puck having a mirror that size spoke volumes.

"Found what you're looking for yet Hummel?" he said softly. Kurt only jumped slightly, must have thought Puck was still snoozing on the sleeping pills. They had at last let him have them once the worst of the post-surgical drugs had left his system.

The guy was dressed a little differently and Puck could not work out why. Grey slacks, white shirt and a tie he could not quite make out from this angle. Was Kurt going to some interview?

"Puckerman," answered Kurt his most prim of voices, ouch! thought Puck, that'll teach him to use the surname. "I'm not sure I see _you_ in this room."

"Right here princess." He might learn not to call him Hummel but be damned if he couldn't get some other good ones in there.

Kurt wriggled his nose as if there was a foul stench, which made Puck try to remember when he had last showered.

"Yes, I can… see that. What I mean is that the _Puck_ I know, that bad ass from school – where is he in this room?"

Puck considered what he may mean exactly. He knew what Kurt was getting at but what precisely was it? Sure, he kept a tidy room, ordered his Ma would say. There were no posters on his wall, except the one of an astronaut on the moon. A dude could have aspirations couldn't he? His bed was a queen, with cedar headboard and intricate carvings, they were Celtic but Puck would not easily admit he knew that. His guitar sat in its stand neatly in the corner, by a small stereo and CD collection. His desk sat in the other corner, as tidy as his room. Laptop (brand new thanks to his grandparents) was closed next to his course books and three novels he was in the middle of: two fiction and a non-fiction. He really hoped Kurt stayed away from them.

"Ah!" said Kurt with success as he opened the wardrobe. "Here he is." Shuffling through shirt after shirt and huffing in disgust Kurt went on to ignore Puck completely.

Which was just a little disconcerting. This was his house, his room – who the hell was Kurt to just come in and start rummaging through his stuff? Why, thought Puck, I should go over and… His thought process was lost as he gazed at Kurt's backside in those slacks. Had he been working out because that was quite toned and as the shirt stretched across his back Puck could see that was muscled too, dancer muscles.

He looked down at his own lap as something stirred and Puck had to resist shouting with joy.

_That_ had not happened in ages and he was worried it was broke.

"Well its hardly a compliment saying these are the best of a bad bunch but they will have to-." Kurt turned and froze as he first saw Puck with a huge grin and the beginnings of an erection beneath the sheets.

"What?" said Puck, his grin turning to leer and refusing to cover himself up. "Like what you see princess?"

"I, that is, um." Kurt was unable to reply and Puck sniggered as he noticed the guy trying to look away but unable to truly do so.

Crossing his arms behind his head, knowing this was usually sure to show off his body thin as it was, Puck kept acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary. "You were talking about clothes?"

"Yes," Kurt cleared his throat and managed to finally look away. "I'm getting you out of here today, Mrs P's orders… so put these on," he threw the clothes on the bed and made a beeline for the door. "I'll be in the living room, you have ten minutes."

Puck gave his lap another look and laughed. "Better make it fifteen!" he yelled at the retreating figure.

Yep, he smiled heading to the shower, he heard me.

KPKPKPKPKP

"It's a little late for school isn't it?" he asked as they entered the carpark.

"But not for Glee club," answered Kurt. "Rachel insisted and she has been nice to me lately and I kind of owe them."

"Them? What did you do, turn the _rest_ of the guys gay?"

Kurt parked the car very suddenly and Puck was glad he had a seatbelt on. Watching Kurt exit the vehicle without a word and stalking off Puck rolled his eyes.

"Kurt!" He got out and followed, trotting to catch up and realising even that made him lose his breath. "Wait, please, I can't-." He looked imploringly at Kurt as he turned around and Puck gave him his best kicked dog look, he'd learned it from Finn.

Walking back and sticking a finger in his face Kurt went into full diva mode. "You'd better not be faking it Noah, and for the record you-kissed-me!" He didn't wait for a reply from Puck and grabbed his arm, more gently than his tone implied and helped him to the entry. Puck hid a grin as he leaned into Kurt and snaked an arm around his waist.

"You're really hot when angry," he whispered into Kurt's ear as they walked the hall, once he had his breath back.

Kurt absently flipped his tie and looked a little guilty. "Well just remember that, there's kind of something I have to tell you before we go in-."

"Puck!" screamed Tina, detaching herself from Mike and running up to hug him. She kissed him on both cheeks and giggled. "Never thought I'd do that without wanting to disinfect."

Instead of being insulted Puck leered and looked at Kurt as he spoke. "That now makes all the girls and half the guys – I am so awesome."

"You're disgusting," but Kurt said it with a smile. Then his face screwed up in confusion. "Wait, half?"

Puck shrugged. "Just kissing, no biggie."

"What Finn?"

"No, ew! He's like my brother."

"Sam? He's barely been around, how fast do you-."

"Him singing his audition with that huge mouth, how could I resist, but the guy wasn't into it – like some others," grinned Puck and flashed a glance at Mike, wriggling his eyebrows.

Mike just rolled his eyes. "Half a carton of beer and vodka shots – I could have kissed Sue Silvester and not cared."

Tina was giving them both appraising looks, and it was not disgust.

Huh, thought Puck, the chick really does have a dark side. Mike must have guessed too and grabbed her hand. "No! We're not discussing that again."

"Oh honey," she whined. "If you at least think about it I'll _think_ about talking to Santana, you get your ideal threesome and I get," she somehow managed to pull off an innocent expression while smiling at him and Puck. "An abtastic ménage a trois."

Puck wasn't sure whether to smile back, she was joking right?"

"Veto," stated Kurt, glaring at Puck.

"Um, yeah," he muttered. He had not had a good chance to talk with Kurt about what being boyfriends meant but sleeping with two other people may not be the best start.

"Wow," said Mike and held out his arm to fist-bump Puck. "So its official, congratulations man – hope you can pull it off with the whole separate school thing."

"Separate school?" Puck raised an eyebrow at Kurt and gave his clothes another inspection. Things fell into place. "I see."

He shrugged off Kurt, who was desperately saying he could explain but Puck stalked away.

Why was _he_ the last to know?

KPKPKPKPKP

"Hey Puck," Mr Shue sat down and Puck forced out a smile, no need to take his mood out on Shue. "I guess you heard about Kurt's transfer."

He grunted an answer. Finn had found him and explained it, in true Finn fashion which took twice as long as I should have.

"You know, you shouldn't blame Kurt – it wasn't his fault."

Puck almost swore but remembered this was his teacher, the only one he respected at that. "Of course I don't blame him, just could've told me earlier you know, before he decided to leave."

"Right," said Mr Shue. "And there's no way you would have tried to rush back to school to protect him?"

"I-." That's exactly what he would have done.

"Before you were ready, before you were well enough," continued Mr Shue. "And even if you were okay do you think you could have protected him all the time and from every threat?"

The anger welled within Puck and he glared at his teacher.

"I shouldn't have to – that's your job, the other teachers… the principle, parents, the god damned… lunch ladies," it didn't make sense but Puck continued. "You all just let this happen and shrug, say there's nothing you can do. Truth is there's so much you could do, instead you all take the easy route and ignore it, avoid it until its so bad the most awesome person to ever walk these halls has to leave 'cause he's scared for his life."

"Puck," Mr Shue tried to explain. "I don't think you-."

"I know exactly what I'm talking about," hissed out Puck. "I played you guys, knew how far I could push things – knew how to make it like nothing bad was going down. I was the biggest bully here but I never pushed it to what Karofsky was doing – but I helped open the door, made it so people like him believed they could get away with anything. I mean did you walk past us every morning and think we were hanging around with all the nerds at the dumpster discussing world politics?"

Mr Shue hung his head, his silence telling Puck he had known what they doing, known all along and did nothing.

Sighing heavily Puck rested his own head on his knees. The steps were real hard to sit on, probably due to his rear end being so bony at the moment. It had been over a week since the end of his hospital stay, his appetite had started to return but it would take time to put weight back on. There had been no more hallucinations which buoyed his spirits and he had a scan booked for later in the week. Puck was trying to keep it real, knowing that being cured of this was unlikely but the docs said because they removed the primary tumour the secondary one could probably be forced into remission.

A lot of ifs and maybes but Puck was really getting into the whole look on the bright side of things.

Mostly thanks to Kurt, and he counted as one of those good things to come out of being sick. Now Kurt was going to another school, which meant he'd meet heaps of other guys.

Guys that had never bullied him.

"We're all to blame," Puck muttered and Shue remained silent. "And I can't change what happened but Kurt taught me that sometimes you have let the past go to believe you have a future."

"Yeah," said Mr Shue, giving Puck a sardonic grin. "So you can learn?"

Déjà-vu

Puck hesitated, a slight chill going up his spine before he smiled back, letting the man know they were okay. "Only when sex is on the table," he laughed when Mr Shue shook his head in mock dismay.

"But seriously, what can we do Puck. Kurt's gone and he's not coming back?"

Puck gave it some thought, the half-remembered vision from his surgery floating through his mind.

"We change the future."

KPKPKPKPKP

"That is just so wrong in so many ways, I won't miss her fashion, truly I won't… its abhorrent, a disaster of epic proportions-."

"Cut it out," muttered Puck, elbowing Kurt lightly. "She's singing me a welcome back ballad, its…" he winced at is own words. "Sweet."

Kurt made a puking sound but retained a self-satisfied smile, probably because Puck was talking to him again.

Rachel finished to polite applause, mostly from Puck and Finn.

"So," said Kurt, turning to give Puck his full attention. "About the other school thing, I know you're upset and I have some explaining to do."

Puck shrugged. "I was upset, but not anymore, not with you anyway – and no explanation necessary, we're cool."

Kurt looked a little shocked then brightened. "I can see being… with you will not carry a huge amount of angst."

"I'm a bad ass, no time for angst," explained Puck, giving a half-leer for good measure.

He may have traced a hand up the back of Kurt's shirt where no one could see but anyone looking would only have seen him and Kurt sitting innocently side-by-side. Sure he had come out about himself and Kurt to their families and to most of the Glee clubbers but this was school and he was not yet at that point.

Which gave Puck another idea for something else but he remained silent. Too many ideas running around his head was making him woozy.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKP

Finn kept as quiet as possible but had to whisper at Puck when they'd been hiding for over twenty minutes.

"Dude, what exactly are we doing?"

"Stake-out," Puck whispered back.

They were behind the bushes at the corner of C block, with a good view of the carpark and utilities shed. If anyone walked past they looked like they were just sitting in the shade, although given the time of year that didn't make any sense. A few students had given them quizzical looks, then when those students realised it was Puck they moved even quicker in the opposite direction.

Smirking to himself Finn thought once again how Puck did it. He was still quite thin, his head had a bandage sitting under the beanie he wore and he could not run ten paces without getting out of breath. All that and students still feared him, and he had not bullied, slushied or dumpstered anyone in a very long time, even way before his illness.

"This is it," whispered Puck, and raised the camera.

Leaning over his shoulder Finn saw half-a-dozen of the jocks block the path of two other students, forcing them closer to the dumpster. The poor students were jostled, elbowed and one was even slapped across the head. Finally they were thrown into the dumpster, only then did Puck lower the camera, sitting still and facing away from Finn. He could feel the emotions flowing off Puck and put a hand on his shoulder.

"You alright man?" He no longer had to ask what their mission was, it was becoming pretty clear.

"No," croaked Puck, his face still turned away. "Why did we ever think that was okay?"

Finn had no answer for him. While he knew he had never actually thrown anyone in there himself he had helped others do it, standing by and virtually giving permission, scratch that – he had literally given permission.

"Its High School," he ventured. "The natural order of things you always said."

Puck faced him now and his expression was not sad, or angry, or upset – just frustrated. "Since when did you ever listen to what I said."

It was not really a question so Finn didn't answer.

Instead he nodded at the camera. "What now, turn the evidence into Figgins?"

"So he can ignore it, claim you can't see the faces or prove its in our school... no, this thing is going viral."

Finn gave it some thought. Putting it on the internet would get some exposure but more likely it would just have people laughing and probably encourage the bullying, he said as much to Puck.

"You don't get it Finn," Puck explained, bringing up the footage and zooming in. "This ain't about outing the jocks, its about embarrassing the establishment."

"What do you-." Finn stopped talking as he saw in the footage a figure walk right past the dumpster diving. "That was the deputy principle."

"Yep."

Silence ensued as Finn considered the fall out. Would she lose her job, would the school do anything – they would just claim it was one incident and one teacher's inability to act. Then he saw the grim set to Puck's mouth. His friend was bravado ninety-nine percent of the time, and could fake stupid real well but if him being around Kurt had shown Finn anything it was Puck had the ability to plan things out.

"You've got other evidence haven't you?"

Puck grinned and stood up, offering a hand to Finn, which was kind of funny since Finn now out-weighed him by a good thirty pounds. He took it anyway, Puck would be insulted otherwise.

"A dozen other teachers," said Puck. "And over half the jocks in this school – not just me either, Artie got the AV crew into it. Now we have film, sound and even a damn montage. I know all the places where bullying happens, every time some kid gets roughed up, or even slushied – we'll have pictures. When we have enough it will be uploaded, with the ability to name and shame, the site is being constructed as we speak, using outside servers so the school can't crash us."

"Woah," muttered Finn. "That's like... I just thought you'd put a few clips on youtube." He scratched his chin. "What you're suggesting could get us in trouble, I mean if they know who did it."

"What are they gonna do?" Puck spread his hands. "Give us detention, for what? Telling the truth?"

"I don't know," Finn frowned. "I'll have to think about it, maybe there's another way that won't cause so much trouble."

"Yeah," Puck seemingly agreed, then nudged his shoulder. "Maybe we could ask the guys real nicely to stop it – worked on us didn't it?"

"I think... you're mocking me."

Watching Puck walk away Finn could see his shoulders shaking in laughter.

This all new Puck was going to take some getting used to.

Tbc...


	14. Chapter 14

_[Previously:__Puck's back at school but Kurt's changed schools – which kind of sucks for everyone since Puck now has a mission to stop the bullying and expects everyone to help him. Kurt and Puck are now together, like officially or something. Puck also had a vision of Kurt getting hurt but hasn't told anyone, because you know, crazy much? And that's what you missed on - Always Shout Fire.]_

Chapter 14

_From: mountainjew_

[why am i waiting in the park…alone:(]

_From: homosapienhomo_

[such a baby – be there soon]

Clutching his phone Puck scowled and took another look around. Kurt had told him to be here so here he was. He should have asked but sometimes Kurt just had that ability to forestall questions… actually scratch the sometimes.

There was a revving sound in the distance and Puck recognised the sound of a motorcycle.

"No way," he muttered to himself. Sure enough a dark figure came roaring across the park on an off-road motorcycle and it was hard to believe that it was Kurt. Clad in a red and black leather ensemble, with matching helmet of course, Kurt would not have been out of place at a motor-cross rally. His physique was slim but not tiny, of a height with Puck (actually he had an inch on him now but Puck refused to admit that) and with his head hidden there was no way to tell the guy under that gear had a delicate featured face that belonged on the cover of magazines. Yes, Puck would admit to thinking that – it was his boyfriend after all.

Coming to a stop Kurt popped the clutch, killing the engine instantly. He removed the helmet in one fluid motion and flicked his hair back, smirking at Puck and raising an eyebrow. This wasn't just something Kurt had decided to do today, his comfort on that bike and the way his legs straddled the chassis told Puck he was very practiced on this type of vehicle.

Crossing his arms Puck couldn't help but shake his head and laugh. "Just full of surprises aren't you princess?"

Kurt gently stroked the throttle. "I have always wanted to name him but could never quite find the right one."

"Him?"

"Noah," Kurt stated, as if reprimanding a child. "My car can be a lady but this…" his hand moved down to caress the fuel tank and Puck felt the blood rush to his groin at the sight. "This magnificent machine is all man," he leered, actually leering better than Puck thought possible. "And he was designed to be ridden like one."

Puck was fairly certain his jaw had hit the ground.

"You want to give it a go?" asked Kurt rather innocently.

"I, er – I mean I thought we'd lead up to that but-."

"Puck," interrupted Kurt. "Did you want to give the bike a go?"

Okay, the ground swallowing him up right now would be a good thing. How could Kurt manage to turn him into a tongue tied little girl?

"I don't know how," he said lamely.

"What?" Kurt feigned surprise. "The great and mighty Puck, king bad ass of Lima, has never ridden a motorcycle?"

Puck walked closer and grabbed a quick kiss, Kurt unable to avoid it while sitting on the bike. Not that Puck thought he would try to. "You know I haven't."

"Yes of course," said Kurt, as if only just remembering. Puck knew they had discussed this during his days following the drug treatment. They'd spend literally days talking about things and Puck's wish to ride had been one of them. Kurt's obvious experience on one had never come up, Kurt must have been wanting to save it as a surprise.

"How is it daddy Hummel allowed his precious baby boy to ride one of these things?" Puck suddenly asked.

"Oh, well my Dad's always been about reducing risk rather than avoiding it," Kurt said, taking one of Puck's hands on his own gloved one. "When I turned thirteen it was obvious I had a thing for powerful yet small engines when we went to the go-carts – and he knew my thirst for it would lead to something as dangerous as motorcycles, so instead of banning me he made sure I got some proper training. Been doing it ever since."

"Finn's never mentioned it, and its something he could never keep secret," challenged Puck.

"Yeah," smirked Kurt. "He doesn't know."

KPKPKPKPKPKPKP

Finn soon found out and Kurt laughed behind his helmet as the tall teen's eyes practically bulged out of his head.

They had ridden around the park, actually an abandoned horse track, for several hours. Puck had given it a go once Kurt was sure he had the basics but his balance needed work as did the ability to lean into the corner. It was tempting to get Puck on the back but he only had one helmet and it was dangerous if Puck leant the wrong way. The thought though, of Puck having to wrap those hands around him and press up against him was enough to make Kurt readjust himself in the leather pants several times.

Maybe next time, after he borrowed his Dad's gear for Puck.

Via a number of off-street tracks and open drains Kurt could access his house and so he and Puck eventually walked their way back. It showed Puck's trust in him that he had been dropped at the park without a means to get home.

Of course as they entered through the back fence Finn was sitting by the spa, obviously trying to entice a reluctant Rachel to get in. Finn just stared, his expression showing his problem in making sense of Kurt and a motorbike.

"Dude!" exclaimed Puck excitedly. "You have a spa!"

"Heated even," said Kurt, giving Rachel a smirk which she flicked her hair as a way of ignoring the comment.

"Kurt," Finn almost choked, looking him up and down. "You? A bike?"

"Yes Finn," he smiled, resting the bike on its stand before walking past the other boy and slapping his chest with a gloved hand. "I know it's a very heterosexual thing to do but there you go… speaking of which, um Rachel, is getting in a spa with Finn something you really want to do, given his history?"

Kurt ignored whatever can of worms he'd opened up between the two as hands grabbed him from behind and he felt hot breath on his neck as Puck whispered into his ear. "Want to do something completely un-heterosexual?"

His body shivered a yes.

"Downstairs now," he whispered as one of Puck's hands unzipped the front of his jacket and slipped inside.

Perhaps Finn watched them with disgust, maybe disapproval, hell it could have been excitement because Kurt took no notice of anything but himself and Puck. Hands tugging at clothing, doors being barged through, locked behind them to stagger down the stairs while being attached to one another.

He'd known Puck was almost back to fighting fitness and hoped that something would happen; wearing a figure hugging leather outfit and riding a throbbing machine had done the job.

Puck was hooked and there was no turning back.

The boy in question growled as he had trouble undoing the buckles on Kurt's boots, Kurt had not even realised they'd reached the bed and he was lying across it. He giggled, it was unavoidable because this situation, though expected, was entirely surreal. He, the resident school gay, well former now he'd changed schools, being ravished by the (still current in his opinion) school stud. He flipped the buckles himself and the boots slipped off, clunking off to the side as Puck slid up his body, hands and arms roaming, touching, feeling and groping. The jacket had gone at the door, underneath he only wore a white T and that was soon gone as Puck licked and nipped at his chest, moving up to nuzzle at his neck. Kurt arched in pleasure, never guessing he had so many erogenous zones but figuring wherever Puck touched was instantly turned into one. In return he had relieved Puck of his own jacket but he had refused to remove his own shirt, a dark blue fitted one that Kurt was sure he had bought him while in hospital.

He guessed that for all of Puck's prowess and reputation he was worried about showing himself in front of Kurt. Puck might be fit again but was far from being as bulky as he once was.

Kurt-did-not-care.

Actually, he was fairly sure he liked the slimmer Puck, more like a swimmer's body than a meathead footballer. Time to show Puck he wanted it all. Clamping his legs around Puck's waist he flipped them, taking control and looking down at his boyfriend. Puck did not look the least surprised and if his grin meant anything he'd been waiting for Kurt to make such a move.

"I wouldn't think that of you," said Kurt huskily, proud of the fact he could still talk.

"Never been with a guy like this," said Puck, just as breathlessly. "Kind of hot knowing you can match me."

Time to be bold.

Kurt reached down and with a flick undid Puck's belt and slipped it free, popping the buttons he hesitated only a moment before reaching in. He was not disappointed, seeing the tent Puck had made under his sheets last week had been one thing but to actually feel it, Kurt knew this was one of those moments, the sort you never forget. Puck grinded into his hand and desperate for friction himself he did the same from above. They groaned in pleasure and kissed, more deeply and enough to leave bruises. Puck wriggled and shimmied down his jeans, leaving only his briefs on – Kurt had been initially surprised he hadn't gone commando but the sight of Puck in only a slight bit of material with his erection straining through was totally worth it. Puck's hands were busy removing Kurt's pants and once done Kurt almost blacked out as Puck took hold of him, stroking and rubbing the head of his cock.

Nothing more was said, only moans and sighs, gasps and utterances of absolute pleasure. It was soon skin on skin, neither of them left with a shred of clothing. They writhed against the other, exploring with hand and mouth and Kurt was sure his head should explode from the ecstasy of not only finally being with another man but that man being Puck, someone he had come to care for a great deal. He had touched himself enough times to recognise the building pressure, and with teeth clenched he told Puck he was close as he moaned into the other's neck. Puck did not slow his pace or move away, instead wrapping his fingers tightly around Kurt's shaft so that Kurt could thrust until he came. Crying out wordlessly he slumped down onto Puck, sighing into his chest before realising Puck had his own need. Wanting to see it all he sat up, batting Puck's hand away and doing for Puck what he had just done for Kurt. It was almost entrancing as he pumped the other boy, watching Puck's face screw up in intense pleasure and puff out his breaths as he came, covering Kurt's hand in the hot white liquid.

Kurt laughed, Puck joined him and suddenly they were both booming away like they had just heard the funniest joke ever. Kurt knew that for the both of them this was both something new and a release, an action that had freed up whatever had been there, contained for all these years. Wiping his hand across Puck's stomach he kept chuckling.

"That is probably the most filthy thing I've ever done, and the best."

"No talking, sleep now," mumbled Puck, throwing a hand across his face and trying to grab Kurt's backside with the other.

"Um, not yet," said Kurt, bounding off Puck and racing to the bathroom. Cleaning himself down he returned to find Puck well and truly out; after the day they'd had he must be exhausted thought Kurt. He gave Puck a quick wash down, not wanting him to wake up covered in a sticky dry mess. Puck had obviously been back to working out, his muscles were re-emerging and as Kurt had predicted the thin frame Puck had been reduced to made him now more sleek than bulky. He decided they would have a chat about body image later. Although his father and Carol weren't home Kurt also slipped some spare boxers on Puck, better not to risk it just in case his father came home early and checked on them. It was only early afternoon and Burt was not due back until after dinner but you never knew. The door may be locked but Burt had a key and was not afraid to use it, Kurt had found that out in some very embarrassing ways. With his own jockey-shorts on Kurt snuggled up to his boyfriend, pulling the sheet over them and letting Puck's steady breathing lull him to sleep too.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

Puck slept fitfully, only waking once to see the room he was in and a warm body wrapped around him. Smiling he fell back to dreams and thoughts of how awesome the two of them were together.

As he felt the late afternoon sunlight heating the sheet over him Puck blinked open one eye, closed it then shot up as he made out what seemed to be a very big and menacing figure at the end of the bed.

"Puckerman!"

Oh shit! Kurt's Dad. Puck felt his stomach almost lurch up through his chest and he clutched the sheet to him like it could protect him.

By the look on Burt Hummel's face it was going to take nothing less than a miracle to save him.

Tbc…


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Burt Hummel was not a cruel man.

Sure, he could come across as quite threatening and he'd had his share of fighting when he was younger, but that was a long time ago. Its not as if he would actually physically assault a kid, even if that kid looked more like an adult and was currently in bed wit his son.

Doesn't mean that he couldn't have some fun though.

"Puckerman!"

It was so worth it. He bet the kid almost wet himself so for good measure Burt put on his best angry papa face and crossed his arms.

He watched as Puck looked around wildly, pulled the sheet up to hide his almost nakedness and kept flicking desperate looks at a still sleeping Kurt.

"Mr H-Hummel, sir, um," he grinned in fear. "This isn't what it looks like," he almost squeaked, wincing because Burt knew Puck knew he didn't believe that for a second.

"Really?"

"Um, Kurt?" Puck nudged Burt's son but this only made Burt grin ferociously.

"Don't bother Puckeman, Kurt'd sleep through a train wreck."

He had to hold in laughter as Puck visibly gulped and held the sheet to his chest like a shield. "Sir, I would never – you know, with your son…"

"You saying my son's not good enough for you?" He added an extra growl to nail that one home.

"What! No, I mean yes." Puck's face screwed up in confusion and fear, and if Burt was correct a little embarrassment.

"Dad please, if Puck is anyone's new toy he's mine, so let me try to restore his sanity and we'll be up for dinner shortly."

"Fine." Burt smiled at his son but shot Puck another glare, using his fingers to indicate he was watching him. The kid had the decency to nod in understanding, his eyes wide probably wondering if Burt owned a gun.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

Puck shook his head as Burt stomped out of the room.

That was insane.

He'd faced angry parents before, and husbands – but Burt Hummel was in another league. Was he angry, joking? Had he been serious or was he just holding back on Kurt's account?

"You'll have to forgive my father," said Kurt, stretching lazily. "He has a unique sense of humour and is not afraid to use it… kind of like his shotgun."

"What!"

"Oh your face," laughed Kurt, flopping back and chuckling madly. "Still, might be good to be polite to him for a while. I honestly didn't know how he would react and much as this is a good sign you never know when he'll decide the other way."

"In other words you never know what his reaction might be. Huh. Can't imagine who else is like that."

"Mmm, I think you can safely predict some of my reactions."

"Like what – oh." Puck shut his mouth and just groaned as Kurt virtually slithered across him and made sure to touch all the right places.

"Shower, now," the voice whispered in his ear and Puck did not hesitate to obey.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

"Carol you really didn't have to do this, I would have cooked," said Kurt, serving himself a small slice of lasagne.

"Oh no worries," explained Carol, sliding an extra piece of garlic bread towards Puck before Finn snagged it. "We arrived back early and we figured you boys were all… busy."

Kurt held his tongue as Finn cleared his throat loudly and Rachel just looked embarrassed. "Mom!"

"What?" replied Carol, holding her chest and giving her son the most innocent of expressions. "I just meant you were probably playing X-Box."

Puck snorted and managed to leer before Burt caught his gaze, shutting him down real quick. Kurt gently stroked Puck's thigh under the table, shaking his head at his father and mouthing 'stop it'.

"Well I can assure that Finn and I _were_ busy rehearsing a duet that is sure to regain our position as number one Glee couple. I admit, Quinn and Sam have a certain charm factor we are lacking but my superior vocals and Finn's stage presence more than make up for that. Isn't that right Finn?"

Finn just nodded through a mouthful, Kurt was sure he had not even heard what his girlfriend said.

Next to him Puck was shaking slightly, shielding his face from the table and whispered to Kurt, "Bet Finn appreciates her amazing oral talents."

Kurt could not help but bark out a laugh, which gained them both a table full of disapproval, and one of confusion… poor Finn.

"Well that's good," said Burt, breaking the silence and obviously referring to Rachel's comments. "But Finn, I'm not sure there should be too much 'rehearsing' in your room, accidents happen you know."

Kurt marvelled at the fact his father managed to look at Finn, then Puck and be entirely clear about what he meant. He may not have said the name Quinn but everyone knew what he'd implied.

Finn harrumphed loudly and swallowed a huge bite of lasagne. "But its okay for them?" his hand waved vaguely in Kurt and Puck's direction.

"It was more than okay for me," muttered Puck. Kurt squeezed his thigh, willing him to shut up.

Burt calmly sliced his low-fat quiche and took a long drink of water before turning to Finn. "Actually yes," he paused and shot Puck a death glare. "Within reason."

Puck remained still as a statue but managed to whisper in Kurt's ear, "This is the weirdest dinner conversation I've ever heard."

"Welcome to the Hudmel house," Kurt said back softly.

"Well that's not fair," huffed Finn, crossing his arms like a pouting five year old. He may have come a long way but sometimes? Kurt just rolled his eyes.

"If you want fair I'll go and have the 'sex in the house talk' to Rachel's Dads, just like I did with Mrs Puckerman."

"What!" three teenage voices rang out and Kurt had to pat Puck's back as he choked on some water.

Burt grinned like a gambler winning the final pot. "Puck's Mom and I discussed what might happen between our sons and came to the agreement that its safer for them under our roofs than in the back of some car."

The slap was the sound of Kurt's hand hitting his own forehead as he imagined that conversation.

Just

Plain

Awkward

But it is exactly what his Dad would do.

Puck seemed just as shocked but then he smiled and nodded, obviously knowing his Mom as well as Kurt knew his Dad.

"Dad, exactly when did this agreement take place?" Kurt asked.

"Oh," Burt waved is hand. "A while back."

Carol laughed and hugged her husband. "Before you got together I'm sure, Burt picked up on you two from the start."

Burt seemed a little embarrassed and gave Carol an apologetic look before talking. "Kurt's always been more like his mother, and favouring the bad boys was, thankfully for me, one of her flaws."

Kurt lowered his head, Burt mentioning his mother always brought a lump to his throat.

A soft hand rubbing circles into his back brought his smile back. Puck already knew how to comfort him so well.

"I still don't think its fair," muttered Finn, sending a resentful glare towards Puck.

"I'm not saying Rachel can't stay over," said Burt. "But if she does it has to be with her parent's permission."

Rachel's eyes widened, obviously at the prospect of asking them that particular question.

"Um, speaking of which," Puck spoke up and turned to Burt. "Mr Hummel, I'm sorry for not saying anything earlier, but if its okay with you," he lifted his arm to hug Kurt closer. "I would like to officially date your son."

Burt pursed his lips. Kurt knew he could have just said something flippant, or said it was Kurt's decision, not his – but Burt Hummel didn't roll that way.

"I already know you care for each other," said Burt. "And its clear your relationship is one of equals – but when you say official?"

Kurt felt Puck take a deep breath. "It means I want the world to know sir."

Smiling widely Burt held out his hand. "Good answer."

KPKPKPKPKP

Back in the basement Puck kissed Kurt on the lips and Kurt wanted to burst with happiness.

Not only did Noah Puckerman want to be with him, but he wanted to be open about it. He would never have asked but for Kurt it was important that they could go and do things that other couples took for granted. Snuggle at the movies, hold hands down the mall, a candlelit dinner followed by rose petals in a hotel suit with a king size bed.

His eyes glazed over as imagination took over.

"Um Princess?"

"What, oh," Kurt shook his head. It had been quite the vision.

"I said, would you be my date?"

"Of course, you already asked my Dad and I don't think I've been obtuse about my agreement to date you."

Puck gave him the weirdest look.

"I just asked you to the winter ball."

"Oh… Oh!" Kurt jumped and hugged Puck close. "Yes! Of course yes – a thousand times yes."

Everyone would be there. Not just the Glee club, who already knew about them – but the whole school.

Noah was coming out, and it was in a big way.

More importantly they would be doing it together.

Kurt sighed.

Looked like he was falling in love.

He frowned, that should be a good thing right – then why did it feel like his stomach just hit the floor?

KPKPKPKPKP

Puck knew this was a dream but seemed unable to change it.

It happened just like most other nights.

Kurt exits the store, walks down the path. Hands grab him and pull him into the alley.

Puck sees it all but cannot move, cannot speak.

He is powerless.

Which is why he awakes in a cold sweat, moaning Kurt's name and staring at the ceiling for five minutes before getting up to wash his face and glare at himself in the mirror.

In only a few days their website would go active, they had enough video to damn the school, dozens of students and quite a few teachers. Not that they intended to show everything, just enough to spur the local educational supervisor into action. If that failed they'd show more. Hell, through some contacts at temple Puck had even got some other schools interested – who were already documenting their own bullying and harassment problems.

This had to work.

Sure, he knew it wouldn't bring Kurt back and wouldn't ask him anyway. Kurt was obviously happier at Dalton and he would get a much better education in any case. Of course he was surrounded by a few hundred other boys, quite a few who had to be gay and interested. Maybe some who were not quite gay but still interested.

Puck trusted Kurt but he was a teenage boy and temptation was hard to resist when he and Puck could only see each other on weekends.

Smirking at himself Puck flexed his arms, quickly returning to their former glory. What was he thinking – those Dalton douches had nothing on him.

So the bullying was taken care of, at school anyway.

He and Kurt were solid and the winter ball was just over a week away.

That just left these dreams.

Gently running a finger over his surgical scar, still quite raw since the stitches had only come out yesterday, Puck pondered what could be done. Like most things he realised he had to know exactly what he kept seeing.

He had to visit the scene of the crime.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

Having his best friend back was mostly a good thing. They were able to hang out all the time, give each other hell without it ending up in fists, well mostly not.

There were some draw backs though. Like when Puck suggests they skip after lunch to go down town, insisting that Finn simply must help him with this.

Even that wasn't so bad.

But having to stand by and watch as Puck stood in front of an empty building yelling obscenities at the wall had Finn thinking they maybe had things still to deal with.

"Dude," he said cautiously, putting a hand on Puck's shoulder.

"Its not here," said Puck wildly, arms pointing at the wall. "There should be an alley, right here between the buildings"

"Um, Puck, I've been to the hardware store heaps of times – never been an alley here," Finn tried to say without saying 'you're losing it and may have to be hospitalised'.

"Then why… why would she show me that and it not be _here_?"

Finn was not even going to ask who 'she' was and was very worried that Puck was hallucinating again, which would mean his tumour was back, which was really bad. He would have to play along until he worked out how to get Puck to hospital. "So, what's in the alley that's so important?"

Puck shook his head angrily and glared at his friend. "There is no alley, that's the point dumb ass."

"Okay," Finn said slowly. "But let's say there was, what's in it?"

"I don't know," Puck said frustrated. "A dumpster I guess."

"Yeah, makes sense."

Puck pursed his lips then visibly deflated and his shoulders slumped. "Yeah, I know – crazy huh?"

"A little, want to tell me what this is all about?"

Sighing heavily Puck leaned against Finn. "Probably best I get all the crazy shit out of my system I guess – but can you take me home first, I'm so fucking tired."

KPKPKPKP

"I meant my home douche."

"Yeah I know," Finn answered him with his head in the fridge. "But we have better left-overs."

Puck shrugged and sipped at his coffee, Finn's concession to his being tired. It was also a bloody cold day so the hot drink helped.

"So," said Finn, dumping three plates of food, from what looked like three separate meals, on the table. "Tell me about the crazy."

"Fine." Puck breathed but thought it better out than in. "I had a vision during surgery and it was Kurt being attacked in that alley." No need to mention the rest of it, apart from it cementing his insanity it would only confuse Finn further.

Munching on a chicken drumstick Finn managed to look thoughtful. "So you thought it was going to happen, but now you know there is no alley you can just put it down to trippin' on the meds."

"No."

"No?"

"It was real dude, I can't explain it better than that."

"But there is no alley, no dumpster," explained Finn, starting on some meatballs from another plate.

"I know," Puck almost shouted and stood up to pace around the kitchen. He leaned on the sink and gazed out the window. "Its screwed up but I just know it had to have a meaning, like a metaphor or some shit."

Loud chewing was his only answer and he smirked, Finn was probably tyring to work out what metaphor meant. He could see the side of the house from here, a small herb garden, compost and recycling bin next to the garbage bin. Puck smirked, trust Hummel to be all green and shit.

A phone rang out and he heard Finn answer it, mumbling away.

He zeroed in on the bins again; they had the exact same garbage bin at home – probably supplied by the town council.

Garbage bins.

Puck's eyes widened as he remembered the vision. He could still picture the dumpster… and it was an exact match for the one at school.

Her words came back to him.

"_This is something, at least to you – I cannot describe what it is to you, because it is what it is to me."_

The vision wasn't an exact prediction, it just gave him clues – his own subconscious trying to make sense of whatever information she had been trying to send him. Kurt wouldn't be hurt in town – it would be at school, at the very dumpster Puck used to throw him in!

"Finn!" he hissed, turning around.

"Yeah yeah, bye," Finn said to the person on the phone and hung up. "What?"

"I'm such an idiot – its gonna happen at school, but Kurt doesn't go to McKinley, so it'll be okay," Puck rationalised to himself. When he looked to Finn though his friend's face had gone white.

"Um, that was Rachel, she said Kurt was at Glee and wanted to speak with everyone."

"At school!" shouted Puck. "Call her back, tell her not to let Kurt out of her sight."

As Finn made the call Puck pulled out his own phone, pressing Kurt's number and held the phone up.

When it rang out and went to voicemail Puck felt his chest constrict.

It couldn't be happening, not today.

Tbc…


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Naturally there was a grand piano in one of the many sunrooms at Dalton Academy and this one happened to be quite a distance from any classes, so how could Kurt rightfully resist. He had a spare before next class and his homework was done for once. Starting with a few Broadway numbers he smiled but did not sing – excepting the Warblers such spontaneous outbursts of singing was apparently frowned upon. He wondered what was worse, being ignored when singing like at McKinley, or being pressured not to here. That led to him thinking what it would be like to date Puck while at McKinley – would they be left alone or slushied and mocked at every opportunity? Wouldn't matter in any case, he wasn't going back there.

But what about Puck once everyone knew about the two of them? He may be tough and strong enough to fight back physically but Kurt knew the worst was not physical. It would be the countless looks and jibes, the mutterings and whispers. The subtle and not so subtle avoiding him. Going quite when he enters the room – covering up in the showers. Tensing up if he accidently touches them.

Kurt knew Puck's plan to force McKinley into a zero tolerance policy on bullying but you could never stop it entirely, not while students believed their actions were justified. That was one of the most surprising things about Dalton; they didn't just enforce zero tolerance but promoted acceptance – had special classes on differences, be it cultural, religious, ethnicity or sexuality. If McKinley tried that, as a public school, many parents and probably every right wing fanatic in the country would complain about them teaching the gay agenda – as if such a thing was evil and would damage the poor innocent students. He tried to picture a Puck who had that kind of support before he had been forced to remain in the closet by his best friend and by typical high school ignorance. Would he have still thrown people into dumpsters, slept with his friend's girlfriend – would he and Kurt have still ended up together?

That's the thing about fate sighed Kurt – bad stuff could still happen no matter what.

Without realising it his music had taken a sombre turn and Kurt thought, to hell with convention and sang the chorus:

"_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me"_

"Wow," a voice interrupted him and Kurt stopped playing, looking to his friend Blaine suddenly leaning on the other side of the piano. "You shouldn't stop," he said. "That was really good, a little dark but I've never heard you sing like that."

Kurt didn't smile at the compliment. "Its not… I'm not planning on singing that for any performances."

"Ah, therapeutic then?"

"Something like that."

Blaine shrugged off his jacket and joined Kurt on the stool. He wriggled his eyebrows then held his fingers over the keys. "_Listen_ _Louis. There's life in these old hands still. Not quite Furioso. Moderato? Cantabile, perhaps.._"

He didn't touch the keys though and Kurt finally laughed. "You don't play do you?"

"No," shrugged Blaine. "But I can do quotes real well."

"Not just from vampire moves I hope?"

"I have a wide repertoire."

"You know," said Kurt. "I think there's someone from my old school you would really like."

"Ooh," replied Blaine, grinning wickedly. "Tall, dark and handsome – rippling muscles and has read at least one book that doesn't contain pictures?"

"Pretty much," Kurt supplied. "Except the hair but that should be rectified if he ever lets the blonde grow out."

Blaine smiled but obviously his playfulness had come to end. "So why the gloom? I thought all was good in Kurt's world."

"It is," Kurt hung his head and idly tapped a few keys. "Noah and I are doing great, I love it here and Dad is passing all his medicals."

"And yet?"

Turning to face him Kurt frowned. "Puck's keeping something from me."

"The anti-bullying website?" asked Blaine tentatively.

"No, I know about that," answered Kurt. "Its something else, like he knows a secret but can't tell me… he's acting like time is running out but pretending that he's not really acting that way."

"That's confusing," said Blaine slowly. "Is it… is he sick again?"

Kurt hesitated and gave it some thought. "I don't think so, he's still getting treatment and says its all good, and he promised not to lie to me about that ever again."

"Mmm."

"What?" Kurt knew Blaine well enough, even in the short time they'd known each other, that he was holding back.

"Well, its just you may be missing the obvious."

"Really."

Blaine held up his hands in mock surrender. "Just hear me out Kurt – maybe this is all you."

"…"

"Look, you've gone from lonely isolated boy to being in a relationship and also changing schools – I think you may be searching for reasons to find this is all going to go wrong."

"I don't-."

"Just think about it," interrupted Blaine. "Trust me, I've been where you are."

"Maybe," Kurt acknowledged. He realised Blaine may have a point but Puck was still acting strange at times. Asking Kurt what his plans were, mentioning downtown Lima and always reminding Kurt to be safe and careful. Maybe that was the caring part of his boyfriend but it was still a little strange.

"Why did you call him Noah?"

"What? Oh, well that's his name."

Blaine nodded as if that were obvious. "Okay, just you normally say 'Puck' – I figured that wasn't his real name, unless his Mom was into Shakespeare or something."

"I guess it depends on the situation – for a long time he was just Puck, some guy that thought throwing me in dumpsters was fun."

"Wow, and this happened for years?"

"No, he only started doing it…" Kurt stopped and gave it some thought. "Huh," he laughed a little. "If my timeline is correct he started the bullying about the same time he came out to his best friend and was shoved forcefully back in the closet."

"Okay, that's an interesting story for another time," Blaine said, leaning on the piano keys without thinking and jerking back when the sound echoed around the quiet room. "But what was he like before that, I mean was he nicer, were there hints he may be on team gay?"

"I… don't know," answered Kurt. "To be honest I never really noticed him until the first day I ended up on top of bags of cafeteria refuse."

"Well," snorted Blaine. "There's a story to tell the Grandchildren."

"Shut up."

Blaine kept laughing and Kurt slapped his arm without any real force, then he remembered something Blaine had said.

"Hey, how did you know about the anti-bullying thing? The website's not up yet."

"Its like, common knowledge, someone told someone who told their cousin etcetera etcetera."

"But that means," Kurt was suddenly very worried. "I need to go," he said, jumping up. "Can you cover me, tell them I had to go home to help out my Dad, something!"

"Kurt wait!" yelled Blaine, making Kurt spin around before he ran out of the room. "What's wrong?"

"The worst of the bullies at McKinley operate on the whole 'best defence is a good offence' rule," explained Kurt. "So if you know, they probably know – and that means my friends are in danger."

Kurt hurried to his room to grab keys and a bag then rushed to his car. He wasn't surprised to find Blaine already there, a similar bag in his own hand.

"I made excuses for us both."

Nodding Kurt decided there was no time to argue and opened the car, letting Blaine jump into the passenger seat.

They would get to McKinley just as the school day ended so hopefully Kurt could catch them all at Glee practice.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

They got to McKinley with a little time to spare and Kurt waited with Blaine in the Glee room. It was a little weird being back in here, even though it had only been a few weeks. Nothing looked to be different, they'd even had to duck in through the side as he'd spied a bunch of the less likeable jocks hanging around the dumpster. There might be strength in numbers but Blaine was not exactly the match of any one of them, let alone half-a-dozen. Sure, they were probably just sneaking some cigarettes and beer before their after-school practice but no reason to risk it. Supposing he should let people know he was here he reached for his phone, then swore when he remembered he'd left it in the car. Luckily Rachel walked in, talking on her own and he heard Finn's name.

"Rachel," he whispered, she smiled in response and mouthed a hello. "Tell Finn I'm here, and that I need to speak with everyone." She nodded while still talking – the girl really could multi-task.

After she hung up she gave the prerequisite hugs and he introduced Blaine. Kurt could not help but notice that her eyes narrowed when he mentioned Blaine's position as lead vocal with the Warblers. It was always about the competition with her.

Other Glee members started arriving and Kurt introduced Blaine all over again, taking a moment to give Blaine a flat stare when he and Sam shook hands and chatted. The smile that tugged at the corner of Blaine's mouth as he commented on how much he liked Sam's True Blood T-shirt showed that Blaine may have got Kurt's message but he was now almost completely oblivious to everyone except the blonde boy in front of him. Kurt shared a look with Quinn, almost literally shoved aside as Sam and Blaine argued over which was better, True Blood or Vampire Diaries. She rolled her eyes in defeat and turned to speak with Tina instead.

Rachel leaned over, looking quite confused. "That was Finn, again, apparently you are not to leave my sight – Puck's orders."

Kurt harrumphed loudly. "I thought you had the jealous boyfriend, not me."

"Well," she flicked her hair. "While it is true Finn can be… possessive – he sounded quite serious."

"Fine, I won't go anywhere – but damn, look I just need to get my phone from the car."

"Absolutely not, I will not have Finn as well as Puck angry with me, they're already intolerable when they gang up on me," Rachel said, placing a hand on his arm.

Being the only choice was to make a scene Kurt just frowned and tried to catch Blaine's eye, maybe he'd go get his phone, the guy looked like he wanted an escape as Santana kept trying to run a finger through his curls. It was no use, he was facing away from Kurt and totally engrossed in whatever Sam was saying about some new director's take on an old classic.

KPKPKPKPKP

The car thumped into the barrier as Puck quickly killed the engine and opened his door, jumping out before Finn could even open his own.

"Dude, wait up," he huffed, still a little scared from Puck's driving – the guy was still not supposed to drive but had stolen the keys since Finn apparently drove like a Nana on church day.

"Come on!" insisted Puck, striding to the doors.

"They're locked Puck, I told you we should have come in the front."

In response Puck jiggled the handle and the door popped open. "Broke it freshman year, just never told anyone," Puck shrugged and Finn had to remember this was a guy who considered minor crime a subject to be taken. "Besides, this is closer." He disappeared inside and Finn followed.

KPKPKPKPKP

One of the footballers smiled and pushed himself in front of his soon to be victim. "Well what do we have here, yet another member of homo explosion."

His cohorts all laughed, that never got old.

But today was not for laughs – time to teach a lesson.

He'd heard what these losers were planning and they had to be shown that shit like that was just unacceptable.

You don't screw with the system.

To give their victim credit he realised they weren't here just to talk and swung the first punch – but it was six against one and the fight was never going to be a fair.

KPKPKPKPKP

Some things will truly never change, though Kurt as Rachel went on about why she should do all three solos Glee had been asked to do at the upcoming Winter Ball. The bored expressions on all those present meant it was unlikely anyone would argue against her.

Suddenly Puck raced through the doors, quickly followed by a puffing Finn.

Kurt barely had time to raise an eyebrow before he was enveloped by Puck, almost crushing him in a hug.

After a lingering kiss that may have been a bit long going by the muted coughs Kurt couldn't help but grin.

"Good to see you too."

"I know," said Puck, a little out of breath. "You're safe, that's what counts."

"Safe? That's what Rachel was going on about?"

"I… erm," Puck looked kind of embarrassed and rubbed his head stubble.

"He had a vision," explained Finn, like it was the most ordinary thing in the world. "Thought you were going to be jumped at the dumpster."

Kurt couldn't help but chuckle. Puck was having premonitions now, and about him being jumped at the…

Dumpsters.

The whole reason he had made this trip, to warn them!

He looked about the room, hoping against hope but dread settled in his guts and stopped laughing and tuned to the door.

"What?" said Puck, immediately on the alert as he must have sensed Kurt's mood.

"He should've been back by now," said Kurt hoarsely. Rachel's diatribe had distracted him and he hadn't realised.

"He should have been back ages ago."

Tbc…

_I know, another cliff hanger [heh heh]- find out next chapter_


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Previously: [Finn's voice] Puck's recovered from surgery and he and Kurt are together, like officially – they're even allowed to sleep over, which is like totally unfair; anyway, Kurt is worried Puck is hiding something and Puck is worried Kurt's going to get hurt because of his near-death experience. Kurt brought Blaine to help explain they may be in danger from vengeful bullies but Blaine seemed more intent on getting to know Sam, who didn't seem to mind – weird. Kurt's safe though, but someone still got attacked… and that's what you missed on 'Always Shout Fire'.

"_He should've been back by now," said Kurt hoarsely. Rachel's diatribe had distracted him and he hadn't realised._

"_He should have been back ages ago."_

KPKPKPKPKP

"Kurt what the hell?" said Puck as Kurt raced from the room, he had to jog to keep him in sight.

He knew everyone was following but no-one could move as fast as Kurt on a mission and besides, it was obvious what his destination was.

KPKPKP

"You're just a bunch of fags and homo lovers," he heard one of them sneer followed by a spitting sound. "You think you can mess with the way things are meant to be?"

Through one bleary eye he saw a foot lift to kick him, even though his head was already on the ground.

"Come on man, he's had enough."

Someone grabbed his hair and he could tell from the way it squelched that his own blood was soaking it. A very angry face backed by a very ugly mullet hairdo looked into his own.

"Tell your friends if they put any of that shit on the web they're all gonna get the same treatment."

His head was shoved back, the impact made everything go white so he never saw the punch that crunched across his jaw and split his lip open.

All he could hear was footsteps walking away and laughter.

KPKPKP

Puck reached the main hall as he saw Kurt disappear through the front doors, his own breath was laboured after his rush to Glee and now this, but no way was he letting Kurt out there without him.

"Hey man, need a hand," a voice asked to his left.

He was too breathless to say much and allowed this new guy to grab his elbow and lead him to the doors.

"Blaine," announced the guy, opening the door. "You must be Noah."

Puck just nodded, exiting the door and from the top of the steps he looked down – from here he could see Kurt standing near the dumpster but he couldn't see the dumpster itself.

Rushing down his blood ran cold as it all became familiar.

The dumpster

The hand just visible

The blood that covered the hand

He raced up to Kurt, frozen looking down at the person slumped against the back of the bin. Puck did not hesitate and slid down.

"Sam," he whispered, gently putting a hand behind his head and turning his head. Sam flinched but visibly relaxed when he saw Puck. One eye was already swollen shut and his face was a mess. Even his famous blonde head of hair was matted in blood and dirt.

Years of sport taught Puck to quickly check Sam for serious injury without moving him too much. His limbs seemed okay, if suffering a lot of defensive wounds. Quickly pressing across his sides and torso Sam flinched again but not enough to indicate any broken ribs – and the fact this close Puck could hear Sam's forced steady breaths meant he was in pain but had no airway problems. Looks like he was trying to calm himself down – Puck hoped it was also because of sports experience and not that Sam had been through this before. His shirt was torn away from the neck, they had been rough but not brutal – at least until you got to his face. Blood still dripped from his nose and a deep cut was open over one eyebrow – most of the blood had come from that. Glancing to the side Puck could see a smear of blood on the ground. He must have been left there and that explained his head being covered in blood and dirt. Sam had obviously managed to prop himself to a sitting position against the bin and seemed comfortable enough so Puck didn't try to move him.

"Hey man," he said softly. "You with us?"

Sam tried to smile through a split lip and rapidly bruising cheek. "Thursday, Sam Evans, you're holding up six fingers because you're a freak and I'm here because a bunch of sub-humans attacked me."

"I'm not sure humour rules out concussion," said Blaine, moving in from the other side and staring into Sam's one good eye, alternatively blocking the light with his other hand.

"I know you," mumbled Sam. "You thought I was pretty."

"I thought your shirt was pretty," answered Blaine and gave a tight grin. "But sure, the other works too."

Puck could hear lots of voices in the background. Quinn calling out Sam's name. Mercedes yelling at some ambulance call-desk on her phone. Santana was, well Puck felt similar but the things she was threatening to do to the perpetrators, sucks to be them.

He could hear Kurt too, probably because he was closer. Muttering about it being his fault. Catching Finn's eye Puck motioned him over to take his place, besides which Blaine was doing a good job of continuing to check Sam over – having used his red pocket slip to staunch Sam's head wound and was keeping him talking about some movie involving something called Reavers.

"Kurt," Puck said as he enveloped Kurt in a hug. "Its okay, Sam's going to be okay."

"This is my fault," Kurt said, close to breaking. "He was getting my phone for me – I didn't ask him to, typical Sam doing the nice helpful thing."

"Come on," Puck hugged him closer and pulled away from the others. Telling him it was not his fault would be useless with Sam bleeding in front of them and as Mr Shue arrived, immediately taking charge, Puck knew they could leave. "Let's get you home," he whispered, knowing Kurt would not resist.

KPKPKPKPKP

Kurt did not argue when Puck insisted on driving, which was bad – but then he wasn't totally breaking down, so Puck figured that was good. He kind of felt like breaking just a little himself. He'd been in fights, got beaten himself – but never like that and what cowards would gang up on one guy, leaving him to lie in his own blood.

Well, Puck was almost certain he knew which cowards they were.

He liked Sam, not best buds or anything but they'd spent a lot of time in training before Puck had quit football and recently in the weight room as Puck rebuilt his body. There weren't even any hard feelings about Quinn, Puck surprised himself by being happy she was with a good guy. That good guy would now be at hospital, getting all the usual checks and probably a visit from the police… unless of course the school tried to cover it up. Okay, as a former bully Puck was still amazed at the shit that could go down and not be reported to the authorities. Drugs, assaults, false imprisonment, blackmail – things if you did on the street you'd be in jail; but in school it seems the law is, for the most part, kept out of it. No wonder those goons thought they could mess up Sam with impunity. That was a big reason he wanted the website to go up; not only to force the school to act but to make everyone understand they _are_ responsible for their actions. Maybe it took almost dying to make him realise it but Puck wasn't going to avoid trying to change things just because he _used_ to be one of those bullies.

Walking Kurt to the door Puck was at a loss to say anything. He knew Kurt would blame himself when he knew who was really responsible – himself. They had been waiting for Kurt, well maybe not specifically since they wouldn't have known he'd be there. But Puck knew if he hadn't have made Rachel stop him, Kurt would have been the one going to his car to get his bloody phone.

Sam had been the gentleman and gone instead.

He hadn't changed the future, just changed who got hurt.

"Noah," whispered Kurt, so low he almost didn't hear him. "Can you stay?"

Like he needed to ask. Puck walked them both inside and made Kurt sit in the lounge while he put the kettle on. Joining Kurt he handed him one cup and pulled Kurt's legs onto his lap. They stayed like that, in comfortable silence, until falling asleep.

KPKPKPKPKP

Blaine wiped some dried blood from his finger using one of the handy wipes he'd got from the Glee club first aid kit; apparently they used it quite a lot.

"Thanks for the ride," he said to his driver. "I'll put in some fuel money."

"Nah," Finn waved away the offer with one hand and Blaine resisted the urge to demand he have both hands on the wheel. "After how you helped Sam it's the least I can do."

"I didn't really do anything," said Blaine modestly.

"You kidding? You were all like Doctor McAwesome with the pressure on the wound and keeping him talking, and then you just whipped off all his injuries to the ambulance guys like you worked in the ER."

"Car!" Blaine slapped the dash as Finn swerved back into his lane and gave Blaine a look that said 'like it was even that close'. "Um, well I would like to be a paramedic one day."

"Oh, so you could flirt with all the nurses."

Blaine laughed, Finn had said it like that was the only possible answer. "Actually," he countered. "It's the hot male doctors I'd want."

"Um yeah, I _did_ mean the male nurses… gee you're not only elitist but sexist at that all male school aren't ya?"

Waiting a few seconds to process that Finn had not only not freaked that he was gay and was also willing to give him hell Blaine let himself laugh again. "You know Finn, you are not exactly what I expected."

Finn looked at him from the corner of his eye. "Kurt has been known to exaggerate."

"Yes, I get that impression," Blaine grinned and decided to have some fun. "But not about that boyfriend of his, if anything he undersold him – talk about sexy all wrapped in one snug man bundle."

"Dude! That's my best friend."

"Sorry, of course." Blaine tapped his thigh to some non-existent beat. Always let them think you've moved on, then…

"That means you'd know all about him then, boyhood secrets, favourite food… penis length."

To his credit Finn just laughed, not even a little freaked out.

"Well he does call it Puckzilla for good reason."

Blaine couldn't help the surprised yelp and had to bite his lip to say anything else. Maybe living with Kurt had built up Finn's tolerance to gay panic.

They turned off to Dalton's exit and Blaine sighed, the events of the day starting to catch up.

"Do you think this will stop the website? I mean it is why Kurt and I came down – this is exactly what we were worried might happen."

Finn frowned but shook his head. "When Puck first thought it up I spoke against it but now I can't believe how many people have got involved – its like a revolution and the site isn't even up yet."

They parked in front of the main entry but Blaine remained in the car; Finn didn't seem to mind.

"Its things like this though, they'll use it to argue against the site – saying it promotes violence instead of quelling it."

"That's crazy – how can anyone say that an anti-bullying campaign will promote bullying?" asked Finn, crossing his arms.

Slipping off his seat-belt Blaine turned towards him. "It doesn't have to make sense, the haters will just get some 'experts' to say some psycho babble about enablement and before you know it the victims have become the problem – not the bullies. They'll talk about providing them the skills to avoid being bullied, they'll explain that the victims are the ones who have to change how they interact with others..."

He noticed Finn was staring at nothing, his face a myriad of emotions. "Sorry," Blaine laughed a little at himself. "I get carried away sometimes, all up on my soap box as my Mom would say."

"No, that's cool," said Finn, literally shaking his head back to normalcy. "Thanks again for helping Sam."

There was an awkward silence as Blaine felt Finn wanted to say something else, but it soon passed and he smiled, holding out his hand to shake. "No worries, hope he's okay and you get the guys responsible."

"Yeah," Finn tried to smile as Blaine walked away. "Responsible," he muttered to himself and backed out, not particularly looking forward to the long drive home.

KPKPKPKPKP

Puck awoke to hear familiar laughter in the kitchen, that of Kurt and his father. By the lack of light through the windows he'd been asleep for several hours. That was happening a lot lately and after the inability to sleep when he was sick Puck was not going to complain. Stretching he made his way to join them.

Burt was sitting at the counter as Kurt stirred something on the stove, by the smell it was chicken soup.

"The sleeper wakes," stated Burt, going back to reading the paper – probably the cartoon page by the earlier laughter.

Puck made a non-committal grunt, feeling comfortable enough around Burt to do that. He sidled up to Kurt and hugged him from behind, he would have risked a kiss but he wasn't _that_ comfortable around Burt – especially after being caught in bed with his son. "Feeling better?" he whispered into his boyfriend's ear.

"Much, Dad always has a way of putting things in perspective."

Deciding not to argue Puck joined Burt at the counter. "Where's Finn and Carol?"

"Carol's on a late shift, Finn took Blaine back to Dalton then said he had some stuff to do," Kurt answered, sniffing the soup and adding a pinch of salt. He looked to his father and shrugged as if to say, just that and no more.

"Yeah, he's got Rachel to do," Puck chuckled.

He knew Burt was trying not to laugh and Kurt was pretending he didn't hear it. "How's Sam?" he asked, deciding not to do the normal pick on Finn continuation.

"He'll be okay, like you said," Kurt said, pouring out three bowls of the soup. "No broken bones but he'll be sore and bruised for a while – maybe a scar from that cut but Quinn said Sam thought that would be cool."

"Scars _are_ cool," stated Puck.

Kurt just sniffed and put the soup in front of them. "If you say so."

Too busy eating Puck gave up arguing the point – there were some differences they would never overcome and he wouldn't have it any other way.

Later, back on the couch as they watched _World's Greatest Military Machines_, Finn finally walked in. Kurt tensed a little in Puck's embrace and he wondered why, but looking up he saw that Finn looked terrible. His eyes were red, his face pale and his body slumped. Being guys they said nothing, even Kurt – maybe thought Puck, he was rubbing off on him. Finn joined them on the couch, making it a little squashed, especially when there was a spare armchair, but again they said nothing but the normal 'heys'.

It was only after another hour, as the program finished, that Puck realised something. He had been toying with Kurt's hair, idly twisting the tuft behind his ear – when he noticed Finn had fallen asleep, leaning up against him. Finn had been pressing against him for a while, not on purpose but just from lack of space. Now his head had lolled to Puck's shoulder and his face had finally relaxed from the tight expression he'd worn since he got home. The fact that neither of them had baulked at being squashed against the other for that long really did mean something. For the first time since their argument all that time ago Puck knew he finally had his friend back.

He smiled and softly kissed Kurt's neck, risking a glare from Burt. Life was good and they could deal with the other stuff tomorrow – for now Puck just wanted to enjoy the company of his favourite boys.

Tbc...


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Ouch," commented Puck, giving Sam's stitches a close inspection. "Never thought you could do anything to take the focus off those lips but guess I was wrong."

"Still not gonna happen, kiss me once fool on me – you know the rest." Sam managed to say it with a flat stare and from the corner Kurt giggled then stopped as soon as Puck turned his way.

"I was not making a move on him," Puck said, as if having to explain himself. Part of Kurt worried that if this continued Puck would have none of his bad ass left – Puck making excuses was like Kurt wearing polyester blends... just uncomfortable.

"Tell it to someone that cares Puckerman, like Quinn," Kurt winked at Sam, "Or maybe Blaine."

Sam studiously tried to wear a confused expression but to Kurt's trained eye he failed miserably.

Very interesting.

"So Sam," Kurt said, moving up to join Puck. "While I am very pleased to see you on the mend, why was our presence required?"

Sam was busy typing away on his laptop and turned it around with a flourish as if to say 'ta da!', of course Sam being who he was actually said 'ta da!'.

Kurt could see it was a webpage, with various graphics of video links and headings – along the top was the name of the site and when he read it Kurt turned to Puck.

"Rainbow Slushie?"

His boyfriend somehow looked both chagrined and proud.

"Its the anti-bullying website," announced Sam. "And apparently all we have to do is click on that activate button and its a go – I've already entered all the passwords."

"Wait," Kurt shook his head. "You want me to turn it on?"

"Its what you're good at."

"Puck's idea."

Kurt sat down next to Sam and pulled the laptop over. The graphics were very good. The title page looked like a slushie machine, the links being the various flavours. There was a 'Rainbow Slushie Explained' handle, 'Evidence', 'Blog' and 'Sign-up' handle.

"Its just the start," said Puck, sitting beside him. "The IT geeks tell me they can change the links and let it evolve depending on what kind of response we get."

"But how will it do anything – I mean how will people know about it?"

"Where have you been living," Sam chuckled. "All it takes is a few facebook comments and links and the whole world will know."

_The whole world will know._

Kurt wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. In theory this site sounded good. A way to fight back, to highlight the problems ordinary students faced and the wall of indifference from the establishment – but it would also bring the focus onto their little town. A lot of people wouldn't like that.

"I can't," he whispered.

"Say again?" asked Puck.

"I'm sorry," said Kurt. "But look what happened to Sam just because of the rumour of this site – if we put it up who knows what could happen?"

"Jeez," sighed Puck, burying his head in his hands. "You sound just like Finn."

"Maybe he's right," Kurt said, his voice heating up. "You know the main reason I left McKinley? It wasn't just the threats but the fact that I knew it was easier to change the one thing – me, than the culture of bullying at the school. Everyone in Glee and even some of the Cheerios offered to protect me, to stand up to them – but it was an empty offer because all it would do is antagonise the bullies and sooner or later they'd get me alone... or worse someone else." He looked pointedly at Sam who was absently touching his blackened jaw.

Puck shot up and paced in front of them. "I can't believe you – do you know how many people are in on this, how much work has gone into it?"

"I'm not saying don't do it," Kurt hissed back. "Just that it can't be me – I can't take being responsible for anything bad that happens."

"I thought you were stronger than that," growled Puck, crouching down and staring into his eyes. "The Hummels don't get pushed around, didn't your Dad say that?"

"But its just not about me," Kurt said, his voice raised.

"Exactly!" shouted Puck. "This is not just for you! You think you were the only kid I threw in the dumpster? The only one I shoulder charged or left crying in the bathroom after a blue rinse?"

"That's not who you are anymore Noah – you're better than that now!"

"But I can't take it back," Puck grabbed his hands, tears in his eyes. "I can't change the past, not even sure I can change the future but I gotta try – I've got to make things right or what was the use of me living?"

"You survived Noah, isn't that enough!" Kurt said angrily, throwing Puck's hands away.

Puck stood, glowering down at him until his expression softened and he smiled strangely. "Survival's not enough."

"Uh guys, not to ruin this special moment," muttered Sam, who without Kurt realising had leaned over and tapped at the keyboard. "But too late, I activated it."

"Oh," said Kurt deflated. All that and suddenly it didn't matter. "Aren't you worried this might happen again?" he asked, almost touching Sam's bruised face.

"Actually I think I was more frightened before it ever happened," said Sam softly, his normal 'easy going happy' persona sliding away for a moment. "Its made me realise we can't let them win – and if I do nothing, especially after they did this to me, then its the same as giving in... sometimes when its right you gotta fight, no matter the cost." He looked so sad that Kurt wanted to ask more but something made him stop, this was Sam's moment.

Not his.

Puck sat back down, squeezing up against Kurt and resting his head on Kurt's shoulder.

No words were needed as they stared at the screen.

Nothing had changed but Kurt knew everything had changed.

Hopefully for the better.

KPKPKPKPKP

"I think Figgins might pop a vein," sniggered Puck into the phone.

"Has he got the whole Glee club there?" asked Kurt on the other end.

Puck counted off heads. "Everyone but Sam and Quinn, nobody could find them."

"Puckerman!"

"Sorry princess, have to go or he might go all Bollywood on my ass."

"That's kind of rac-." Puck clicked his phone shut and tried to stare innocently at the principle, of course he'd been unable to pull off that look since middle school.

"As I was saying," continued Figgins, nervously toying with his jacket lapels. "It has come to my attention that certain students in this club may be involved with the website which has caused so much controversy this week... controversy that we simply cannot afford!" He tried to be tough by slapping his palm on the table but his wince at the pain ruined the effect.

Puck most definitely did not laugh.

Maybe a little.

"I have the district supervisor demanding answers because his supervisor is demanding answers."

"Sucks to be on the bottom of the pyramid doesn't it?" sneered Santana, twirling her own hair.

Figgins ignored her.

"Mr Shuester, I demand that the students responsible step forward now."

Mr Shue, sitting with the students shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure I could help you, you really think I would know who's involved?"

Wow, thought Puck, way to avoid the question.

Respect!

"That website must be taken now immediately," announced Figgins. "Heads will roll, I guarantee it," he said, holding up his finger for emphasis. "This is your only chance to admit guilt with minimal consequences." His bulging eyes swept the room and Puck was confident no-one would say a thing.

He was wrong, but in a good way.

"Um, Mr Figgins," said Rachel holding up her hand. "If I may. As you probably know my Dad's are very good friends with a lawyer at a top New York firm."

Figgins wince and scowl indicated that he had been made aware of that, probably on multiple occasions.

"So I'm just wondering the legality of punishing students for exercising their constitutional rights?"

"Constitutional! Rights!" Puck watched the vein pulse on Figgins head as he spluttered out the words, this is it – blood vessel busting time. "That site makes it seem our teachers are compliant in acts of assault and portrays our sports stars as a bunch of thugs – saying such things is not _possibly_ covered in the constitution."

"I'm pretty sure the first amendment covers all that," said Brittany vaguely. The room went quiet, even Figgins, as everyone tried to reconcile the comment coming from her.

"Um, I never thought I'd say this more than once a year... but Brittany's right," said Mr Shuester. "Whoever is responsible for the website is just exercising their freedom of speech and maybe even freedom of the press, I mean are the videos showing anything that is false?"

"Its making McKinley seem like the most brutal school in America," said Figgins in exasperation.

"One hundred and three slushie attacks, thirty blue rinses, ten patriotic wedgies and over fifty dumpster tosses – and one serious assault, as yet not investigated," Puck looked around but Sam had still not arrived. "And that's just in the last ten days and the incidents that _were_ reported... according to the website," he added, trying the innocent expression again.

"I knew you would be involved," spluttered Figgins, pointing at Puck. "Consider yourself suspended Puckerman."

"Mr Figgins!" exclaimed Shue but Puck shook his head at the teacher.

"Don't worry, I've got some serious nap time to catch up on anyway."

"Really," Figgins smiled. "Given your recent absenteeism your suspension will mean an automatic fail for this year, do you enjoy repeating yourself Mr Puckerman?"

"Absenteeism?" yelled Rachel, leaping to her feet. "Noah was sick you intolerable little man-."

"Ah, suspension for Miss Berry as well," Figgins said with triumph. "I imagine that makes it very hard for the Glee club to perform at competition level."

"Ooh," squealed Tina, holding up her phone. "The slushie ap is active, now we can report bullying as it happens." She stopped and looked around the room as if surprised. "Would threatening students with academic penalty with no evidence count as bullying?"

A roomful of nods answered her so she started tapping away.

"Miss Cohen-Chang!" said Figgins fiercely.

"One moment," she held up her hand. "Is principle spelt with a capital if you use a surname as well?"

Figgins seemed to shrink in on himself and huffed loudly. "Fine, no suspensions but if that website remains active don't say I didn't warn you."

He stalked from the room and the students erupted in cheers, most patting Tina on the back or giving her a hug.

Puck sighed and lounged back into his seat. Repeat a year? He didn't think anything Figgins said could intimidate him but that had stung. A wave of weariness swept over him as the room settled down to a dull roar of Glee members chatting. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temple, the surgical scar still tender.

"Puck?" Mr Shue was standing before him, a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sure," he nodded.

Shue didn't seem convinced but nodded anyway. "You did good, standing up to him like that but you know this won't get any easier anytime soon. A lot of teachers may lose their jobs and its no secret you led this little uprising – not to mention the other students who appear in those videos will be looking for revenge."

"I know," sighed Puck. "But we can't give up, not now. Its gotta get worse before it gets better right? So let's remember it _will_ get better."

Squeezing his shoulder Mr Shue nodded in respect. "Kurt's a lucky guy and you're doing a good thing... but take it easy – you're still recovering you know."

"Sure," Puck said. "Just tired that's all, a lot of late nights."

Shue gave a last nod and went back to the front of the group. "Right, let's remember why we are really here – rehearsal time! Yes Rachel?"

KPKPKPKPKP

Quinn glanced up at the hanging spheres then back at Sam.

"Going to seduce me with planets again?"

"This is where we first made a luurve connection," Sam made jazz hands which made Quinn smile but not laugh. He could be very cute when he was nervous but if he was nervous she knew it was because he had something difficult to say.

Her raised eyebrow said 'get to the point'.

"Planets!" he said loudly, snapping his fingers as if he'd remembered something. "Did you know celestial bodies are the only things that can bend light, well not the bodies themselves but gravity, gravity bends light."

"I'm not sure about that, I mean did you learn that in physics class or on SyFy?"

Sam smiled, probably more at the fact that she had said it with y's than the fact she knew it existed... SyFy, not physics.

"Of course its true," he explained, again using his hands in that adorable way. "We can reflect light and refract it but only something with really powerful gravity can bend light, which kind of lends to bending time-."

"Samuel, a point would be good before I remember how incredibly hot I am and find a new boyfriend." Adorable or not if she didn't stop his rambling it could last hours.

"Um," he looked really embarrassed, or maybe worried – no Quinn decided, scared. "That's kind of what I'm trying to say."

"What?" she held a hand to her chest and said all too softly, "You're breaking up with me?"

His mouth opened but nothing came out, he tried a few more times then finally just nodded. She walked up and put a finger to his chest. "You-are-breaking-up-with-me?" punctuating each word with a nudge. He flinched and bit his lip hard, Quinn realising too late about his bruised torso. She wanted to apologise but couldn't – after all it was him doing the breaking up.

"You see, I wish I was a planet," he said, rubbing his injured chest with one hand while gesturing to the sphere's with another.

Quinn was pretty sure her hand on hip and glare of perpetual doom convinced him to speed up his justification.

She could have stopped him since she had a good idea what it was but he deserved to suffer a little bit more.

"Cause then I could bend light, maybe time and if I tried real hard I could bend time back on itself and be able to change the past."

"And what exactly would you change?" Like she didn't already know.

"A single word... an answer to a question that led me to hurting someone I genuinely care about," he took her hand and smiled, even though she knew the act must be painful due to his injuries. "I think you know what I'm talking about because while I might be good at fooling myself Quinn Fabray is not that stupid."

"No," she said and kissed his hand, a kiss for regret and a kiss goodbye. "No I'm not."

They sat on the desks for while in silence, too late for Glee but too early to leave. She wondered about many things and what this meant for her reputation, before remembering that she didn't care so much about that anymore. How could she support Puck in one breath while condemning her now ex-boyfriend with the other?

"Sam," she whispered. "You have to say it, not for me but for you – you have to make it real."

He breathed deeply, she could feel it with him pressed this close. Strangely she felt nearer to him now than their whole relationship.

"Quinn, I'm gay."

She couldn't help it but burst out laughing.

"That's... not very nice," he said with a pout.

She clutched his arm, still laughing a little. "Sorry, at least I'm slapping you or," now she did stop laughing as his expression darkened. "I am sorry Sam," she said solemnly. "About this and about what happened to you, I don't hate you and I was laughing because you're right."

"You knew."

"I don't think I knew for sure but let's face it – intimacy has not been our strong point."

"That's because you're a good girl," he said with more of a hint of his usual spark.

"I think there is enough evidence to the contrary."

"So... I wasn't the only one hiding in this relationship?"

"I wasn't hiding," stated Quinn, slightly offended. What could he mean by that anyway?

"I was safe, a misdirection," Sam gently nudged her shoulder to let her know he wasn't being nasty. "We have to admit it was never about me and you."

"Because you were busy checking out other guys?"

"And you're still in love with Finn."

Quinn couldn't answer that and sat in mild shock.

Still in love with Finn?

Damn it!

Tbc...


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, turning the corner into Main Street. "But I had to get you out of there. The other guys know what they're doing and you can't micromanage everything."

"I wasn't – well maybe a little."

"You see!" huffed Kurt. "That's the problem, the Puck I know wouldn't cave so quickly."

Puck pouted and stared out the window, refusing to get into the argument. Kurt had been on his case all week, telling him to slow down and to stop stressing about the website. It was hard not to though, since it had gone beyond just a couple of videos on an obscure website. News agencies had picked it up and were now keeping track of how many videos and stories were uploaded. Then those same news shows would turn up at the schools and try to expand on the story. Given that dozens of schools in the state had been identified by the videos that meant the education board was having hysterics about the whole movement.

They had not been shut down.

Mostly because the site was on a server not connected with the school and Puck and his cohorts could not be directly linked to the site. While their videos showed the bullies they were careful to blur out the faces of the kids being bullied and ensure the people taking the clips were never identified. That's why they did not allow videos to be uploaded directly. So far it had worked and it was only the bullies being 'outed'. He really hoped it stayed that way. After what happened to Sam they were taken precautions. Then again Puck knew it was risky no matter what and if they stopped now it would be a terrible defeat. Also the bullies, and those embroiled in the fallout, would take their revenge on anyone they thought responsible.

As one of the IT team had said, they had to reach the tipping point. The time when all schools realised zero tolerance was their only option.

"Where are we going?" he finally broke silence.

"We're there," announced Kurt, parking the car on the side of Lima's main park. He snatched a bag from the back seat and bounded out of the car; Puck was forced to follow or remain like a five year old throwing a tantrum. Thankfully it was a warm and bright day, for the middle of winter, so he slid out to join his boyfriend.

Kurt had walked out onto one of the many fields and dropped the bag, taking his familiar hand on hip stance until Puck caught up.

"I am not having a picnic out here or whatever stupid idea you got from some chic-flick," muttered Puck.

Kurt, instead of being angry, smiled. "That's more like it," he said primly. "Now stop acting like a child and let's have some fun – you remember how to do that right?"

A soccer ball was tossed at him and it rolled to a stop at his feet. Puck could only stare dumbly at it as a goofy grin spread across his face.

His boyfriend was awesome!

He tapped the ball then started nudging it from foot to foot. It had been a couple of years but the skills were still there. He looked up to see Kurt smiling broadly and he kicked the ball over to him.

"You don't seriously expect me to play?" It was as if Puck had asked him to smother his dog, if he had one.

"Come on Hummel, you dragged me here. Bitching me out all the way and saying we needed to have some fun."

"You had to have fun, I'm just fine."

"Fine don't cut it when you're with the Puckerone," said Puck as he side swiped the ball from between Kurt's legs, almost causing the other boy to fall. Kurt recovered and deftly snatched the ball back with a feint and then he back spun around and dribbled the ball away at a fast pace. Puck knew the boy had to have had skills. He gave chase, his long legs quickly catching up but Kurt was better at changing direction.

"Score!" yelled Kurt, reaching some imaginary goal on the side of the field. He proceeded to do a little dance and then run around in circles with his shirt over his head.

"Don't even bother trying to distract me," muttered Puck, very much eyeing off Kurt's flat and ever so slightly toned stomach.

"Fine," huffed Kurt, putting his foot on the ball. "Best of five then?"

"Wait," Puck held up his hand. "First you tell me how you can play like that? Is this another thing like the motorbike riding?"

"Kind of," snickered Kurt. "Our backyard is sizeable and soccer's one of those games you can practice solo."

"Uh huh," Puck raised an eyebrow, he knew there was more to it."

Kurt scowled but gave an answer. "."

"Oh great Moses," cursed Puck. "Not Beckham!"

"That is so cliché," said Kurt but his face did redden as he wandered closer and put a finger through one of Puck's belt hoops. "Jealous?"

"Pffft," Puck leaned in and caught Kurt in a kiss. "Besides I've always had a thing for Cahill."

"Tim Cahill!" hissed Kurt. "The Australian?"

"Those lips," sighed Puck.

"You have an unhealthy obsession with mouths."

"Don't see you complaining."

Instead of answering Kurt tapped the football and trotted off, Puck had no choice but to pursue him. They zigzagged across the field, alternating possession and at times Puck suspected Kurt let him win a few times. Before he knew it an hour or more must have passed and he was feeling better than he should be. Stopping and picking up the ball Puck looked thoughtfully at his boyfriend.

"What?" said Kurt, flicking back his sweat-soaked bangs.

"Was this a spur of the moment idea or something more insidious?"

"Don't use words you don't understand Noah, and yes – it was more than just some spontaneous day out."

"...?"

Kurt sat on the ground, tapping the space next to him. Puck quickly complied.

"How do you feel?" asked Kurt.

"Good," shrugged Puck. "A little sore but strangely energised."

"Mmmm."

"What, you my doctor now?"

"No," said Kurt smugly. "But your Mom did have a word with me and we've all noticed how lethargic you've been lately."

"And this was meant to help?"

"Yup. Real exercise Noah. Fresh air and sunlight. All you've done recently is hang around the computer labs, or at home and the gym is your only workout. You can't play football anymore so apparently the doctors told your Mom that the lack of proper activity would interfere with your healing. You can thank me later."

Puck reached around and pulled Kurt across, leaning over him. "Think I'll thank you now princess."

As their lips touched a polite cough sounded. Kurt wriggled out of Puck's grip but not before Puck did manage to kiss him.

"Sorry guys, we just-."

"What!" snapped Kurt, glaring at the strange boy before them. "Is a display of _affection_ not allowed in this park or just _this_ type of affection?"

"Kurt," Puck whispered. Behind the boy were several others and Puck could tell they weren't here for trouble – he knew how people looked when they wanted a fight and these guys weren't it. If anything they seemed kind of hopeful and a little embarrassed.

"Thought you might like a game," finished the boy, smirking at Kurt.

"We'd love to," said Puck instead.

"No," said Kurt quietly.

"Yes," muttered Puck.

They did.

PKPKPKPKPK

Sam wriggled uncomfortably in the crisp shirt as the shop assistant measured bits and pieces of him and scribbled things down. There were so many things he was tempted to say, mostly movie quotes but one look at Quinn and Mercedes kept him quiet.

"I think the plum with magenta lining was better."

"Yes," nodded Mercedes. "But that might clash with the shoes."

"Uh shoes? What shoes? I don't need new shoes."

He was ignored as they placed various ties against a forest glen green shirt, and yes he knew that because he had already tried that one on. The assistant brought over a jacket and helped Sam into it, to which he immediately scowled. "Its too tight."

"No… its not," said Quinn, without even looking.

"Obviously its not," he said to the assistant, who proceeded to ignore him like the girls. "Look," he said, knowing they would hear him – no-one could multitask like Quinn and Mercedes on a shopping trip. "I appreciate this and all, and I mean its really cool of you considering our recent break-up but Quinn? I don't even have a date and very much doubt that -."

"Okay I'm going to stop you right there Sammy," said Quinn, giving him _the_ look. "Firstly, if I let you dress yourself for the ball you will probably turn up in some nasty plaid shirt with pants two sizes too big while wearing purple runners, and while a little part of me would enjoy your embarrassment there are bigger things at play."

"Like?"

"Like no matter who is seeing who, and who is _not_ seeing who – we are still a team and have got to look like one," Mercedes replied. "And I am accustomed to being seen with the most fashionable of boys; there is a standard to maintain."

Sam frowned but wisely did not argue. He was quite fashionable, he'd made hoodies popular again at school and his collection of super-hero inspired art print shirts were a hit – he was sure.

"Fine," he muttered, changing back into one of those very same t-shirts and then ruffling his hair and smoothing it again checking before turning to the girls. "What?" he asked as Quinn was tilting her head and looking bemused.

"Just wondering how I didn't pick it sooner."

He tried his best glare but it had zero effect.

"You said firstly, what's second… ly?" he tried instead.

"Oh," she grinned and he was sure he should not be frightened but there was that evil glint in her eye. "You _do_ have a date."

"No," he argued.

"Yes."

"No."

"Shoes," Quinn said instead, going back to ignoring him. "Come along Cedes, Sam's feet are freakishly large and this may take all afternoon."

Sam frowned and spread his arms after the departing girls. "No!"

KPKPKPKPKPKP

The day before the winter ball was a hive of activity, one which Puck was glad to leave to his boyfriend and to the other ladies of the Glee club. He had a vague memory of being measured and poked around by some guy in a store. Getting through it had taken a fierce resolve to not run from the store and the ability to hum tunes in his head and think of having awesome, if still somewhat restrained, sex with Kurt. There was also the organising of vehicles, pre-ball dinner reservations and post-ball party venues.

Strangely enough that was going to be the Berry residence. Puck did have to take credit for that since her Dads were away and Rachel had needed a little convincing that a party was a right of passage.

His time was also taken up with the on-going controversy of the Rainbow Slushie website, he had compromised to keep Kurt happy and only checked in on things twice a day. Figgins shut down all computer privileges but the IT geeks just brought their laptops with wireless connection since the website was safely operating from an outside server. Some of the football players were avoiding him and giving him strange looks so Puck figured word had leaked of his involvement. That was kind of inevitable but he had been enjoying the cloak and dagger of it all. The outside exercise had done wonders too, he hadn't felt this good since before he got sick. Also the guys they'd met had swapped numbers; they played in a local soccer club and while Puck insisted he couldn't join they still reckoned he could and should play for fun whenever possible. If Kurt had not been initially against playing with them Puck would have assumed a plot by his boyfriend.

He still had his suspicions.

"Dude," croaked a voice beneath him. "Little help."

"Sorry," he helped Sam return the bar to its holder as the blonde sat up and wiped away a layer of sweat. He may have allowed his eyes to linger on the other's body; it was only to judge the differences between Sam and his boyfriend. He could agree that Sam was good looking, quite hot actually but not the same as Kurt. Sam was all definition and angles, Kurt had muscles but they were less obvious – only really apparent when he exerted himself. Puck smirked as he pictured Kurt exerting himself.

"Puck, have you even been listening to me?" Sam said, slipping on a singlet as he moved over to the smaller weights.

"Yeah, shopping, suits and shoes – girls not leaving you alone, sounds terrible."

"Quinn is insistent that I have a date for the ball, but we broke up? You know her better, was she saying I have to go with her regardless?"

"Um."

"I mean I would be happy to you know, but its kind of not fair on her. Finn's just waiting in the wings to sweep her off her feet but I'm stopping that from happening. She could be up the most romantic night of her life and she's stuck with me… a fake blonde geek boy who is too screwed up to make it clear to everyone else that she and me are not together."

"I don't think Quinn meant-."

"I know right, forget Finn because she probably needs time to be herself, she said that before we started going out but I kind of convinced her otherwise so its probably best I do what she needs, even if it means pretending we're together so she can have that freedom because lets be honest, they'll dance around for months without anything happening and when they do Finn will run back to Rachel. So other guys will only hurt her, and she's had enough of that."

"Sam, they're already-."

"Oh my god!" Sam paused in his warm-down routine and stared at Puck. "They! As in Finn and Rachel are back together, this is going to kill her and its all my fault. If I hadn't led Quinn along she would have been free for Finn ages ago, now he's moved on while she still loves… I mean while she still has feelings for him."

Puck slapped his hand over Sam's huge lips and put a finger to his own. "Dude, shut the hell up."

Sam's eyebrows shot up in surprise but he stopped talking.

"Good." Removing his hand Puck sat next to Sam on the bench. "For starters Finn is not banging Rachel, at least I hope not because Quinn was over last night and let me tell you it is really awkward being in the same room as your best friend makes out with the girl you got pregnant while you make out with your boyfriend who once had a crush on your best friend but is now his brother – adding Rachel into that mix would just explode people's brains."

"Wow," stated Sam. "If anyone else joins New Directions we're going to need a white board and a flow chart to bring them up to speed."

"Right," said Puck blandly, not mentioning that he had found such a chart, but made of bubbles with connecting lines, on Kurt's computer. He had been searching for porn but had only found still shots from musicals and links to fashion stores. He was almost certain Kurt had porn but was obviously better at hiding it than himself. "And Sam, the whole date thing may have been arranged by someone else and for someone else who does like you but is definitely not Quinn."

"What you talkin' 'bout Puck?" said Sam as he pouted those lips.

Puck checked that they were alone. "Kurt may have told Blaine you were coming to the ball flying solo so that Blaine would get a ticket too."

"Blaine! But Kurt doesn't even know I'm g-." Sam put his own hand over his mouth.

Puck laughed and made a phone out of his hand and held it to his ear. "Hi this is the man in the moon, just calling to say that the rainbows shooting out of Sam's mouth are so obvious, even from up here."

He stopped laughing as Sam's expression turned to one of panic and his eyes watered up.

"Dude," Puck said, putting an arm around the other. "Its okay, its not like you aren't in good company."

"I know," Sam said hoarsely. "I'm just not used to people knowing."

"No-one knows outside of Glee," explained Puck. "And Quinn didn't tell, between Kurt's ninja like fashion sense and Blaine's apparent flawless gaydar you never stood a chance."

"Is that supposed to be comforting?"

"I'm a bad-ass, I do brutal honesty, not comforting."

"Which is why you are hugging me telling me its okay?"

"…"

Sam finally laughed. "Your secret is safe with me Puckerman."

Shrugging Puck removed his arm and idly played with a dumbbell. "Not too much of a secret come tomorrow night."

"You and Kurt are going as a couple?"

Puck nodded while biting his lip.

"Is that a problem?" asked Sam.

"Not really, I'm just – well kind of like you, not sure about others knowing and no offense, but the Puckosaur coming out may be a little bit more of a shock than the guy who speaks Na'vi."

"Hey, the Na'vi are warriors, and are brave and shit so that is not-."

"They're smurfs all grown up, look like a bunch of gogo dancers and wear leather thongs."

Sam could only gasp in shock and feigned anger.

"But," Puck relented. "Kurt is the most courageous guy I know, and is a warrior in his own way – so if I'm calling the blue guys gay then maybe its because of what you said."

Instead of answering him Sam was staring into space and rubbing his jaw tenderly. "Do you think Blaine has seen Avatar? I could show him the director's cut, with commentary and if we unlock the-."

"Dude stop." Puck shook his head and held a hand to his temple. "How did anyone _ever_ think you were straight?"

Sam snorted loudly. "Right back at ya Puckerman."

Tbc...


	20. Chapter 20

"_He thinks I don't know but things were said, feelings hurt. Next thing Noah gets the girl pregnant." She looked at Kurt meaningfully. "Finn touched a nerve before that whole business, one that set Noah off into a world of self-hate and destruction." Pausing she shook her head. "I shouldn't blame Finn too much but I couldn't help it."_

"_What did he say?" Kurt could not help but ask._

"_I'm sorry Kurt, that is for Noah to tell you." _

Kurt thought of that conversation with Mrs Puckerman he'd had just before Puck's surgery. He'd hinted a few times to Puck hoping he might open up but that was one of the things he seemed adamant not to discuss. In only a few hours they would attend the winter ball together and he had come upstairs to sit before his mother's dresser. It was not exactly a shrine, her things were not kept in the drawers or anything like that but Burt had kept her photo sitting front of the mirror and her perfume bottle, long since empty, next to it. If Kurt closed his eyes and held it close he could still detect the barest scent from the green bottle.

For some reason he had not only thought of his Mom but of what Prs P had said. It shouldn't matter why Puck and Finn fell out and why Puck became a brute for over a year. He knew the gist of it – Puck had somehow come out to Finn and been rejected. Had he made a move on Finn? That was silly, they were best friends but Kurt scrunched his face in thought.

It was possible, and if so were any of those feelings still there?

Even as he felt the burn of jealousy he knew it was wrong. Puck was with him and he had no reason to doubt his loyalty... well given Puck's reputation he probably had very good reason but not if it involved Finn. The fact was Kurt knew he was just doubting himself; after too long believing a relationship was near impossible in high school here he was with the hottest boy in Lima.

"Mom," he spoke to the photo, a springtime shot taken just before she fell ill. She wore a rainbow coloured dress and had flowers in her hair – flowers Kurt had put there. "I've met a guy... I think you'd like him." He almost snorted at the thought. Of course she'd like him, if Dad was right he had been a lot like Puck as a younger man, before he was tamed by Kurt's mother. "Well I haven't just met him but you could say we took a while to properly know each other." He fingered the perfume bottle, its scent seemed to get stronger and Kurt fancied that she was actually in room with him. "I don't know if it will last and maybe after tonight he will realise its too hard being with another guy or just too hard being with me but for the moment we're happy." He smiled. "I'm happy, really and truly. Guess asking for more than that is just greedy huh?"

He swallowed back a lump in his throat as he imagined his mother giving him a disapproving look. "I know Mom, I am fabulous and deserve the very best and should not doubt that the best things in life are those we fight for." She'd told him this many times, no doubt knowing he would face adversity – if his father had known he was gay from a very young age then she had probably known since he was in the womb. "Noah's great Mom, and I think I might love him – so yeah, I'll fight for us if I have to... but I guess I just wanted to speak to you and say," he paused and felt a tear run down his face. "Please be there with us tonight, I know I don't believe in god or religion but I do believe in you." He replaced the bottle and gently touched the photo.

As he went to leave the room Kurt thought he felt just the slightest breeze across his cheek and smiled.

"Thanks Mom."

"That your Mom?"

Kurt almost shrieked as he ran straight into Puck, standing in the doorway like he had every right to be there. Kurt nodded, even though Puck had his back to him now as he leaned over the dresser to inspect the photo. He wondered why Puck was so interested and why he continued to stare.

Joining him Kurt touched his boyfriend's shoulder since Puck's eyes were lost in some daydream.

"She's a beautiful woman," Puck whispered respecting the moment. "Your Dad really married up huh?"

That earned a slap to the arm but Puck grinned. "Kidding, Burt's got that whole gruff but handsome thing going on."

"Oh my Prada, you've been checking out my dad?"

"Gotta know how you might look in a couple of decades – but I think you have your mother's eyes... and hair, even her voice."

Kurt cocked his head at the odd statement. "How would you know that?"

Puck looked worried but shrugged. "Well you don't sound like Burt and I figure he doesn't sing soprano."

"Counter-tenor."

"Nuh-huh."

"You'll be singing soprano permanently if you keep it up Noah."

"Hah! I think you'll find you like my balls exactly where they are."

Raising an eyebrow Kurt made a cutting motion. "One won't be unduly missed."

Kurt smiled at the banter; something he hoped they never lost. He was a romantic and was all for being in love but if that meant never being able to needle each other what was the point? It was a probably a guy thing; as honorary girl as he may be that only stretched as far as fashion and skin-care.

Covering his groin but trying not to show that was what he was doing Puck led Kurt the door. "Fun as this is its getting near show time, while I am confident of dressing myself Finessa needs your assistance.

KPKPKPKPKP

Down in what was now mostly Finn's room the suits were hanging in their plastic, three dark coloured but thankfully not matching pieces.

"Right," Kurt rubbed his hands together in anticipation. They could start on hair, not a problem for Puck (yet, but it was growing) but Finn was starting to get quite the faux-hawk and Kurt had to convince him to tone it down for tonight. He glared at Finn's shaggy mop and sighed. "Have you even showered?"

"Yep... this morning," Finn didn't even have to wait for Kurt's response and slumped his shoulders as he headed to the bathroom.

"I'm glad we got slip on shoes because I'm not sure he's graduated to knots yet," smirked Kurt.

Hands wrapped around his waist and Puck dragged him to the bed.

"Do we have time?" whispered Kurt.

Puck's eye twitched as he obviously considered it. "Probably but there's something more important."

"Sounds ominous, don't tell me you can't dance because I know for a fact that is untrue."

"No," Puck chuckled. "A story actually, a true one I think you need to hear."

"Look, if its about what you heard me saying to my mother I don't expect-."

"Shush," said Puck, putting a finger to his lips. "Its about us, you, me and Finn."

Kurt's eyes widened.

That made Puck snort. "Filthy boy – not that!" He glanced at the bathroom but they could both hear the water still running. "Its time you knew what happened to us, what led to me being a bastard to you and all those others and maybe even why Finn took a while to be better to you about being gay."

"You don't have to," said Kurt. "Its just the past, we can let that go."

"I don't think I can – I need you to know that you and me are not some experiment." Grinning widely as if it were a joke Puck continued. "In case we're not clear I am gay… not bi or confused or messing with you just for fun." Puck shook his head. "And I don't want there to be any more secrets after tonight... what do you already know, Mom's hinted that she said something."

Kurt took a breath and considered lying but Puck would know. "Before Glee, before Quinn was pregnant and before I knew you guys you admitted to Finn you were gay – and he did something to make you keep it a secret."

Puck nodded sadly. "Unfortunately that makes it all Finn's fault and while he wasn't exactly welcoming I should have tried harder, instead I let anger and frustration get the better of me."

"Okay," Kurt said, wriggling to get more comfortable and leaning against his boyfriend. "Spill it Puckerman."

_Noah's Flashback:_

Sitting on Finn's couch as his friend sat on what they all called 'Dad's chair' Puck fiddled with the game controller but knew he had no chance today. Too much on his mind and too much stress about talking to Finn. This shouldn't be so hard; they were in high school – Finn had just got the Quarterback position and Puck had finally gone out with a girl last Friday.

That had kind of settled it for him.

But how do you tell your best friend, the one guy who is a constant in your life, that you think that you are kinda maybe just a little bit possibly gay?

He opens his mouth to just blurt it out, with Finn that is the easiest way otherwise he gets far too confused. Instead Finn speaks first.

"Dude, I think Quinn and I are going to do it soon."

That breaks his confidence. He hadn't even known they were that serious. Sure Finn had taken her out a few times but he'd never even called her his girlfriend.

"Uh, that's great man."

What else could he say?

Finn gives him this weird kind of questioning look but Puck pretends not to notice and starts the game.

FPFPFPFPFP

"So I think I might be gay."

He finally says it when Finn's over his house. Finn is sitting on the washer as Puck sorts through the pile of clothes, separating his from his sisters. He'll still wash them both but has learned not to mix them up after the purple Wiggles shirt fiasco.

For a moment Puck wonders if he said it aloud but then he sees Finn's face.

"Did you hear what I sa-."

"Yeah, and you'd better say that was a fucking joke!" Finn hisses, looking around the small room as if there was somehow a spy hiding in the towels.

Puck continues sorting, the work hiding the tremors in his hands. "Not really something I would kid you about dude."

Finn jumps off the washer and gets right in his face. "No! You are not a fucking queer!"

"I-." But Finn interrupts him again.

"Noah Puckerman is not gay, nor will he ever be while he's my friend, got it?"

"Why?" Puck whispers, he had been unsure how Finn might react but this anger and implied threat was not it.

"Do you know what this would do to my… to our reputations? I just got quarterback you idiot, and I'm seeing the head cheer leader."

"This doesn't change that," Puck muttered, his eyes lowered as he tried to shift away but Finn kept in his personal space.

"It changes everything. You and I spend all our spare time together, everyone knows how close we are and if you… if people know you're one of _them_ – they'll think I am too."

Puck feels his anger start to simmer. It was just like Finn to make it more about him. "I never said I was going to tell anyone."

"You're telling me!"

"But you're my best friend."

"Not for much longer if you keep up with this shit."

"Come on man, this is hard enough as it is," Puck reaches out and puts a hand on Finn's shoulder but Finn immediately shrugs it off and backs away.

"What? You telling me just so you can touch me, so you can be all perverted and crap with me – I'm no fag."

"Dude that's not it."

"And what is," hissed Finn. "You in love with me now, is that what you're saying – cause that means nothing to me."

"Fuck you Hudson, you're my bro – that's how I love you." Puck felt the heat building in his face and knew he was either going to cry soon or get violent or both.

"Then be my bro – stop this shit, you-are-not-gay. You like girls, I like girls and that is how it has to be."

Puck couldn't look at him and turned away as he felt his eyes burning.

"Hey," said Finn a little more softly. "I know you went out with whats-her-name and it didn't work out but you can't allow that to make you doubt yourself – next time you'll get it right, you'll see."

Puck wasn't stupid and knew that one bad date didn't _turn_ you gay; he'd been checking out guys, a lot of guys and what he felt with them was not what he felt when he looked at girls. But if Finn, his best friend, couldn't accept him what chance did he have with anyone else in this town? They'd been hitting the gym since joining the team and Puck had bulked up but he couldn't take on the entire school, not to mention anyone else who'd want to bash the queer.

"Yeah maybe you're right." He said it with no conviction but he saw Finn nod as if Puck had spoken some noble truth.

"You know I am. Remember we had a plan to rule this school and no homo has a chance of surviving at McKinley, let alone being at the top."

"Dude you shouldn't use those words, just say gay." Puck may not be a prude but he knew when it was wrong to use hateful words, especially when they were about him."

"I'll say what's needed to convince you to get back on track," said Finn, getting in his face again. "And you gotta do what's needed to stop being such a fag because I'm serious Puck – our friendship is over unless you man-up."

His blood started to boil as Finn said those words. His father had said that to him before he left, that he wasn't 'man enough to be my son'… and Finn knew that. Puck grabbed Finn by his shirt and pushed him back. "Shut the hell up Finn! You don't say that shit to me!"

"Why not!" Finn almost shouted. "What're you going to do about it? Cry like a baby like you did when daddy left you… huh!"

Puck snarled and pulled his fist back. "Fuck you!" He swung and only at the last moment pulled the punch, it still glanced across Finn's jaw but lacked the force it would have had. It had enough though to slam Finn against the wall. Puck immediately felt the anger turn into guilt and concern.

He had hit his best friend.

He'd sworn never to hurt Finn, to protect him from anything and now here he was, the aggressor.

"Finn, I'm sorry, are you okay – please I didn't mean it."

Holding his jaw Finn was smiling instead of being angry. His expression was… victorious.

"No queer could punch like that," chuckled Finn. "Now you need to find a girl and prove this is just some stupid idea because you got too drunk and couldn't finish the deed the other night."

Staring at Finn as he raved on about how they'd forget this ever happened now that Puck had proven he was a real man it was all Puck could do not to be sick. Finn had made him attack him, had made him break a vow they'd made as kids to never hurt each other – just to show in some weird screwed up Hudson logic that Puck wasn't gay. His stomach churned and he looked down at his knuckles, reddened from hitting Finn. His other hand wiped back his hair, he'd been growing it longer; something his mother loved since it curled after a few inches and she thought it made him very handsome.

He'd never been betrayed like this, not by someone he literally trusted with his deepest secrets; someone he would give his life for. His dad had left them sure, but the guy had been a dead-beat from day one. Finn had been the only guy he had ever felt close to, the one person except for his mom that could make him feel okay about himself.

Until now.

He glared at Finn, the teen continuing to babble on about the upcoming game, the party afterwards and the girls that would be there. Puck's eyes hardened as anger and hurt turned into ice-cold rage, repressed in an instant into a burning need for vengeance. Finn, in his typical inability to notice anyone's feelings but his own, never saw the change – was not aware of the moment when Puck's normally soft and caring brown eyes became that of a predator. Puck felt it, the beast within him growling to make Finn hurt like he was hurting. He held back though, violence would not achieve anything.

"And Quinn's gonna be there too, I'm hoping I can get more than just above the clothes action."

Puck's eyes glazed over, not quite seeing Finn anymore.

"Quinn," he whispered, Finn not hearing him.

The next morning Puck adjusted the mirror and tested the clippers, they buzzed warmly in his hand. His mother would kill him but if Finn wanted Puck to be a real man then he would show Finn just how much of a bad-ass _guy_ he could be… then he would strike where Finn least expected it.

It took only a few sweeps to cut swathes of hair away; the rich black curls falling without a sound into the basin. Puck scraped his fingers against the tender stubble on both sides of his head and smiled viciously at his own reflection.

"You want me to get with a girl Hudson," muttered Puck. "Then how about yours."

Tbc...


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's note: It took a while to put this one together so sorry for the delay. Also for the extra length (something Puck would say?) Enjoy, and yes the winter ball scene is very near...**

**Chapter 21**

_"You want me to get with a girl Hudson," muttered Puck. "Then how about yours."_

Kurt slipped his hand from Puck's and stood, pacing the room. Every time Puck tried to speak Kurt shushed him, trying to process the information.

Revenge.

Puck's animosity to everyone.

The bullying.

Sure, on an intellectual level Kurt knew all this already. He'd known Puck had come out to Finn and whatever had happened had put in motion all these things; but to hear it from Puck made it real. Had Puck tormented him because he was different or because he was gay? For some reason it was important that it was the former.

The fact that Puck could act in such a calculated manner to enact vengeance confused him; the boy he had come to know... could he still be capable of such things?

Those thoughts must have shown on his face because Puck sighed and stood, forcing Kurt to stop pacing. "Kurt," he spread his hands. "I'm not perfect, you knew that and I can be an asshole, you knew that too."

"What? Admitting it makes it okay?" Kurt huffed. "Its not what you did to Finn, he kind of deserved it – but what about Quinn?"

Puck hung his head. "I regretted it the moment it happened, probably before. Why do you think I never told anyone, well not at first anyway?"

That made a little more sense. If Puck had wanted to hurt Finn at any cost then he would have told him about the affair immediately, instead he never did and probably wouldn't have but then Quinn fell pregnant.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said softly. "I'm not angry exactly, just confused – I'm going to get ready upstairs."

KPKPKPKPKP

"Kurt," Puck said uselessly to the retreating figure.

"You know, just when I think you've got it right you manage to screw things up," Finn said from behind him.

"How much did you hear?" sighed Puck, turning to face his friend.

Finn shrugged, wiping away the last of some water from his torso. "Enough to know I should be angry, but in some strange way I'm relieved you cheated on my girlfriend for revenge, instead of a whim."

"You're just weird Hudson."

Smiling as he towelled his hair Finn ignored the remark. "Kurt will be okay, he's big on the trust and being honourable and all that – but he's also very forgiving."

"Yeah, hope so." Puck moved to take a shower himself. "Hey Finn, you know I'm not that guy anymore right?"

Finn gave him a hard look then shrugged again. "Neither am I dude."

In the bathroom Puck quickly showered and leaned on the basin, deciding a shave was in order. Luckily he knew Finn kept spare blades and slipped one into the razor. He lathered up and inspected his face before swiping down one side. In was in these moments that Puck could properly think about things. It was like while his hands concentrated on one task his mind could mull over another and naturally it was all about Kurt. Telling him the story was risky but had he kept it from him it would have ruined them in the long run, and Puck knew that he was in this for however long Kurt could stand him. His hand shook a bit as he did his chin and he swore softly. Everyone might think he was back to normal but it was the little things that sometimes let him down. His treatments were now once a fortnight but they still exhausted him and then the constant check-ups and scans; still with no definitive result.

The doctors smiled a lot and said it looked good and 'there was every chance' but as for being given the all clear – none were willing to take that step. Had he told Kurt?

No, Puck was still a coward when it came to that.

He tried to finish shaving but his hand shook again and nicked his throat, eliciting another swear word.

He heard the door close behind him, though he had not heard it open and knew it was Kurt.

"Here," said his boyfriend softly and took the razor from his hand, Puck giving it up wordlessly and just staring at Kurt, not sure if he understand how much he felt for him in this one moment. Making short work of the remaining stubble Kurt washed off his face and smoothed his fingers across the delicate skin before leaning to press a kiss against his lips. Smiling into the kiss Puck wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist to bring him closer, clad only in a towel Puck was unsure how far this might go.

"We don't have time," whispered Kurt throatily.

Puck recognised lust when he heard it and knew it matched his own.

"We do tonight," he whispered back and lifted Kurt onto the basin, making him yelp and cling to Puck even harder.

At a guess Puck figured he was forgiven.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

"This is the stupidest thing I've ever done," muttered Sam in the limo.

Puck coughed "Bieber" under his breath to the giggles of the vehicle's other occupants.

Sam glared but didn't pursue it, instead fingering his bow-tie. "I mean sure, we've talked on the phone and been IMing each other but I've really only met him once and I was kind of concussed."

"So this is just the first date, no biggie," Finn said.

Putting his head in his hands Sam groaned loudly. "Exactly! A first date at a ball, how can we make small talk in that scenario?"

Finn scratched his head. "That's why you're worried? I thought its because everyone will be looking at you since… you know, two guys?"

Four sets of eyes stared him down, including Quinn's.

"Honey," she said softly. "We're gonna work on that foot and mouth thing okay?"

"Anyway," said Puck. "All eyes will be on the hottest couple." He puffed himself up and flexed an arm to the eye-rolls of everyone.

"I don't know," said Kurt slowly, turning his head to the side. "The blonde brunette mix _will_ be hard to beat."

"Thank you," said Finn, nodding and putting an arm around Quinn.

"So not talking about you," smiled Kurt.

There was nothing said as everyone chuckled at Finn's expression of mock hurt until Sam sighed again.

"Do you think Blaine has abs… I bet he does – he looks like he has abs."

"Oh my god," Quinn laughed. "I was going out with a twelve year old girl and never knew it."

Sam stared at her without really looking, or listening. Would Blaine sing to him tonight, as a fellow Glee clubber it was something he would probably do? In that case he would have to have a song ready to respond. Maybe even he could initiate the serenade. Rubbing his still tender jaw Sam went through a mental list of possibilities and completely ignored whatever conversations were going on around him. Luckily Kurt had put something on his face to cover the still visible bruises but the pain remained and the stitches could not be hidden. That combined with his never having been out with a guy before did almost overload his already overburdened insecurities. Thank goodness he was surrounded by such a good support group.

KPKPKPKPKPKP

"And I think we've lost him," said Kurt, clicking his fingers in front of Sam's unresponsive eyes. "Not that he was allocated any duties, for what is now an obvious reason."

He pulled out his phone to go through the list.

"Food and nibbles for the after party."

"Check," Finn said proudly, as if that had been the hardest duty.

"Exclusive invites sent and RSVPs received for the after-party?"

"Check, although Santana's post-it with just a lip print may or not be a yes for attendance." Quinn's eyes narrowed for a second mentioning Santana's name but Kurt noticed she shook it off after a touch from Finn; not as stupid as he often seemed.

"Alcohol?" Kurt asked flatly, looking at his boyfriend. Puck simply gave a toothy grin.

"A volunteer to distract Rachel so she doesn't start singing… oh that's me." Kurt smirked and put the phone away. "Then the only thing is to have an exit strategy – I do assume we want to stay long enough to enjoy the dancing but not long enough to see teachers dancing with each other?" What he really meant was the longer they remained the more chance of a confrontation between them and either the hockey team goons or some intoxicated jerk intent on having a fight.

"How 'bout when Mr Shue drunk texts his ex-wife?" asked Puck.

"Or sings a sappy 'I want you' love song to a certain guidance counsellor?" suggested Quinn.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "That man has to get his house in order, perhaps we should give Miss Holliday a call; I detected a certain spark between them last time."

"Schue can't handle a woman like that," said Puck, earning him a sharp glance from Kurt. "Oh, we're here," he continued instead of explaining his comment.

The group piled out of the limo and the driver sped off without a word; Kurt figured that's what you get for a discount price – also it was one way, no pick up later. He lingered, allowing the others to go ahead and thankfully Puck was observant enough to stay with him.

KPKPKPKPKP

Will Shuester was not a stupid man. He knew that sometimes the best thing a teacher could do is let students make their own mistakes. How many times had he seen what was going down in the Glee club and done nothing? Too often? Not enough?

He could admit he was far from perfect but was confident he'd done the best possible.

That is until Puck, of all people, had called him on it. Then again should he be surprised that Puck was the only one brave enough to call him a hypocrite – scratch that, only current student.

Kurt would not have hesitated either. Any shock that they had got together should have been alleviated by that common fact.

Since Puck had made it clear Will was just as guilty as other teachers for ignoring the bullying he had tried his best to change that. Now he never walked past anything even remotely suspicious. He had sponsored the start of several clubs designed to help students suffering from anything from bullying to harassment to just being isolated. He had even gone to the last two school board meetings to champion the site Puck and the others had created (never admitting of course that he knew who was involved). That support had earned him a warning and some off-the-record threats from half the board. It was hard to understand what they feared the most – McKinley being in the national spotlight for all the wrong reasons or actually having to admit there was a problem. Their interest still seemed to be shutting down the students who wanted to stop the bullying instead of dealing with problem of bullying.

It was simply cheaper and easier to ignore a problem.

Or in this case muddy the waters.

"William," Figgins explained as he adjusted his suit jacket in his small office mirror. "I know your concerns but these students have a right to protest, just as your students have."

"This is not a protest," said Will in exasperation. He held up the shirt he had confiscated; on it were two male figures like on bathroom doors, except they were holding hands and across this image were a circle and diagonal cross. "This is persecution."

"They are just expressing their views according to their faith," Figgins spread his hands. "There is nothing I can do, the board majority voted that this kind of non-violent protest was acceptable."

"Saying no to gay people being in school cannot be acceptable," countered Will.

"As I understand it they are just asking not to be exposed to something that offends them, we do not discriminate at this school but displays of affection or inappropriate behaviour that offends others is something I must take very seriously."

"You're kidding right," Will laughed without humour. "Just yesterday a footballer was caught naked with a Cheerio in the study hall – you did nothing about it."

Figgins went to answer when the office door slammed open and an enraged Sue walked in; Will took a step back thinking she was here to attack him but instead she raised a shaking finger to the principle.

"You are in big trouble mister!"

"Sue! I am in a _private_ meeting."

"Oh keep your flight stockings on," she retaliated. "There hasn't been a private meeting in here since I had maintenance re-divert the air-ducts so I can hear every word – by the way, if you ever sing Madonna's _Like a Virgin_ again I will call amnesty international and report you for crimes against humanity."

Serious as this was Will couldn't hide a smirk.

"Now for the equally heinous but probably lesser crime I believe you are allowing religious views to once again permeate our secular halls?"

"No no no," Figgins tried to say soothingly. "No-one is promoting religion; there is simply a board directive to allow non-violent protest by students who believe they are being marginalised due to their faith."

"Marginalised?" Sue snorted. "Try being this white and marching for women's rights in the Sudan. May I remind you Figgins that we, as educators, have the sacred duty to ensure our students are not misused or taken advantage of while under our care."

"Exactly Sue, and this Rainbow website is making some of our students the targets of the leftist liberal agenda."

"Oh please, the only people suffering are the ones refusing to accept responsibility for their own actions – they hurt others and now cannot stand being held to account."

Will was impressed; Sue was using words direct from Puck's website.

"These shirts," continued Sue, pointing at the offending garment. "Were not made by students and I guarantee they didn't come up with the idea to wear them to this school or tonight's ball – it is those students who are being used as pawns and so are you."

Figgins probably should have lost his temper but instead Will noticed the man visibly deflate. "There is nothing I can do; the board has made the decision."

Sue shook her head and her anger also disappeared as she took a seat and crossed her hands patiently. "There is a lot you can do, and so can we. I may be guilty of pushing these kids around and yes, possibly I have used them for my own agenda by pitting them against each other, but if there is something Sue Silvester is capable of it is admitting her mistakes and learning from them. I might despise being in the same room as the two of you but now and then I am reminded that we do have one inherently good thing in common – we're obviously not here just for the money, which leaves either a penchant for self harm in Williams case, or the possibility that we are actually here for the kids." She gave that half smile which Will had yet to decipher meant she was joking or was enjoying tormenting him. "And as someone said '_If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children_'."

Shaking his head Figgins gave a smile of his own. "Using Mohandas against me Sue, you are being very devious."

"Not against you, just bringing it into perspective – I never thought I'd be the one to say it but why the hell don't we institute a zero tolerance on bullying or any kind of intolerant behaviour?"

"Because for every student that is suspended there are parents going straight to the board, and then to court if their suspension is upheld – we can't afford the legal battle."

"Maybe I can help with that," said Sue smugly. "I have some contacts in a few law firms, I'm sure they have some juniors needing to do some pro-bono work."

"We would still have the board to deal with," added Will. "They'll fire us all before holding up suspensions that will mean forfeiting most of our sports games – especially since some of the kids are their own."

"Not if the kids themselves agree to the suspensions," said Sue, inspecting her fingernails.

"How are we going to do that?" asked Figgins in disbelief.

"Well," said Sue, her eyes twinkling in what usually implied an impending strike. "What use are the Cheerios and Glee club if they can't inspire some good old fashioned school spirit?"

Will winced inside; he just knew it would come down to him and his kids.

Figgins, wrapping a silk scarf around his neck smiled again. "What about it William, if you get the kids to agree to the punishments I will see what I can do about convincing the board to trial zero-tolerance."

He sighed, but then knew if he didn't at least try he was not just letting himself down. "Fine."

"Excellent, now – don't we have a dance to supervise."

KPKPKPKPKP

There may have been only a dozen steps to the entry but Kurt continued to hold Puck back, his boyfriend giving him a puzzled look.

"Last chance Noah," Kurt said in explanation.

"For what," replied Puck with a leer as he pulled Kurt close. "To ravish you in privacy?"

"Hardly private," muttered Kurt, glancing at a couple that seemingly ignored them as they walked past. "And no, I mean you can back out now – your reputation will remain intact."

Puck remained quiet for several seconds, his expression hardening and Kurt wondered if maybe he was considering the offer.

"You embarrassed to be seen with me Hummel?" Puck asked instead.

"Of course not," scoffed Kurt. "We can to all the dances you like at my school, and wherever else we can be us – without the Neanderthals at this school knowing."

Puck suddenly pushed him back and turned away. "Not too long ago I was one of those thugs Kurt – you think I would be afraid of those losers?"

"I think," Kurt whispered, putting a hand on his shoulder. "That you've done enough for now – the website, the whole movement, and all the time you spend with me... you don't have anything to prove, not if you don't need to and I don't want you getting sick again from the stress."

He could see Puck tilt his head to the sky and sigh loudly, saying just loudly enough for Kurt to hear, "Survival is not enough."

Those words again made the blood in Kurt's veins run cold. Puck had said them before but he thought it a fluke, to hear them again from his mouth when he knew they came from someone long dead meant something else entirely. "What did you say?" said Kurt flatly, even though he knew.

Puck turned to him, his eyes sad yet defiant in the low light. "I think you know."

Kurt gulped and felt tears spring to his eyes. "You can't... she's dead Puck, she died when I was a kid."

"Yes," said Puck softly, grabbing Kurt's hand with his own and bringing them both to Kurt's chest. "But she's still here with you – you know that." He used his other hand to lift Kurt's chin to make him keep eye contact. "And I died too Kurt, not for long but enough to meet this beautiful and smart woman who helped me see things I knew but refused to face."

"That's impossible," Kurt almost cried. "There is no heaven Puck."

"Maybe not, I didn't meet any angels or speak with God, but I saw what I needed and I met your mother."

"No."

"Yes," Puck hissed. "And you know its true, you know because you feel her around you all the time. She's there every time you cry, in your laughter and when you're in pain." His face softened and he kissed Kurt lightly on the lips. "You're the strongest person I know Kurt, but no-one could put up with what's been thrown at you and be okay, not without help. You know she's been there for you if you want to admit it or not. You accused me often enough of refusing to show what I know to be true, of saying one thing but meaning another – but it doesn't have to make sense to be true. Your Mom loves you Kurt, more than anything, more than her need to move on." Puck tapped the scar on his head. "You told me once about calling fire because its tangible... real, that even though you say it when other shit is going down people will listen and that's what's important. Kurt, it doesn't matter how your Mom died, or if she didn't fight hard enough – she never left you, she's been shouting fire all these years so you would know she is there... you have to admit that, and then let her go."

"What?" asked Kurt.

"I'm sorry," Puck let his concern show. "It took me a while to see it but she didn't meet me just so I could save your life – it was to let you live it."

"The dumpster?" Kurt frowned. They'd mentioned some dream or vision of Puck's but so much was going on he had forgotten.

"Yeah, she showed me a possibility and then the fact I could change it. Maybe I could have done it differently so Sam didn't have to get hurt but that's just it – we can't hope to make everything perfect, we just have to do what we can to live... and not just survive."

"And to do that I have to let her go?"

"You have to _forgive_ her Kurt. There is no doubt your Mom loved you but fighting something she couldn't beat, just to exist – it was never going to be enough. I think she gave up because she loved you so much, not because she didn't."

"I... I've always known she was with me," Kurt finally admitted, the tears flowing down his cheeks. "Even at her funeral I could feel her hand grab mine, her whisper in my ear and her perfume on the wind – but I could never say anything, they'd say I was mad." He smiled and wiped away the tears. "Whenever I'm at my lowest she's there, a presence to comfort me." He looked hard at Puck. "I think I forgave her a long time ago but I've never said the words, and I will," he said quickly. "But not yet, just for tonight I still need her."

Puck grinned and pulled him close. "She'll be here tonight Kurt, to watch you dance with your first boyfriend... to show everyone that you have a right to be happy – and to see that someone can love you without having to hide it."

Kurt's eyes widened at the admission and he knew a goofy grin had spread across his own face. "Love?"

"Yeah," Puck tilted his head. "I love you Kurt Hummel, and you're going to walk in there on my arm and everyone is going to know it."

Kurt felt his stomach do that whole flip-flop thing he'd only read about in silly romance stories and his heart beat too fast against his ribcage.

Noah Puckerman was in love with him!

How the heck could he respond? He didn't even have a song prepared and simple words were inadequate.

"Come on," Puck tugged him towards the doors, taking any chance to talk away. In a daze Kurt grabbed his boyfriend's arm and together they walked through the entry, the bright lights of the dance enveloping them.

Tbc...

Yes, next chapter... the Winter Ball at last!


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

_The Winter Ball part 1_

Upon entering Puck immediately noted that the room was divided into several groups.

In true McKinley fashion the Winter Ball had been set up in the sports auditorium; they had not even bothered to remove the basketball hoops. To the left and using the seats instead of dancing were the bulk of the Glee group, along with their extended family of the IT clubbers, band members and a surprising variety of others, including many athletes obviously not concerned with the risk to their social standing. Directly opposite, on the side where the tables were situated stood the hockey players, their groupies and a few footballers still not comfortable with the truce Schue and Beiste had organised between the groups. They were glaring daggers at the Glee club members and laughing amongst themselves as they made threatening gestures every time a teacher's back was turned.

Cowards.

In between these polar opposites were almost the rest of the people, dancing and talking and laughing. They were either unaware of the tension or didn't care and Puck was jealous.

What he wouldn't give to have been able to walk in here and just dance with Kurt without worrying about anything. He mentally winced as he found himself wishing that they could just be 'normal' and much as he knew in his heart they were perfectly normal there was a lifetime of surviving in this bigoted school social system to overcome.

"Hey," Kurt's voice soothed his raging thoughts and his smile told Puck that his boyfriend knew exactly what he was stressing over. "Let's join our friends." Kurt dragged him by the hand to where Rachel was talking the ear off Brad, who had managed to wear a surprisingly fashionable yellow plaid bow tie and vest ensemble.

"And if you just spoke up more during rehearsals then I wouldn't have to berate you after performances – Kurt! Noah!" she almost screamed, interrupting whatever response Brad was about to give, which from his expression may be a good thing. As Rachel gave him a hug Puck saw Brad slip away; he nodded at the pianist in understanding.

Then she was poking him in the chest. "You-are-late mister, can't you tell we need your bad-boy presence to counter the goon squad over there?"

He shrugged. "Chill Berry, besides I don't think my badass-ness has the same impact anymore."

"Works for me," grinned Kurt, pecking Rachel on both cheeks.

"Yes well," smiled Rachel. "Been there almost did that."

"You snooze, you lose," laughed Kurt and his happiness was contagious. They'd been through so much in such a short time and at times Puck felt guilty for dragging Kurt down into such miserable territory but to see him shine like this made it all worthwhile. He didn't even think about it and grabbed his boyfriend, dipping him and kissing him ferociously. Kurt only squeaked an initial protest before joining the program. The noise around them faded from Puck's awareness and it was only him and Kurt; their breathing and very heartbeats seemed to match. The feel of Kurt's lips on his was magical, electric just like all those stories said it should be. Only minutes ago Puck had told Kurt he loved him, now he was showing him and he knew they both felt it.

He pulled back but kept their faces close as they returned to a standing position. In his periphery Puck could tell their performance had certainly gained attention. He laughed and pecked Kurt's lips for good measure. "Just so no-one's left in any doubt about us," he whispered.

"I don't think there's any danger of that," Kurt said breathlessly and his cheek's reddened adoringly. "Just so you know I would have been satisfied with a dance."

"The Puckosaur always exceeds expectations." That earned him an eye-roll but Kurt said nothing more and linked their arms, with Rachel on the other side he led them to the main group.

He could not see Finn but Quinn was seated and speaking quietly with Santana and Brit. Mike and Tina were chatting with some of the football players and there were a few people Puck didn't recognise but by their high quality suits and perfect hair Puck guessed Blaine had not come alone from Dalton Academy. Where Blaine was Puck had no idea so he sidled up to Sam who was staring off across the room, his expression grim.

"Dude what's up?"

"Apparently you can brutally bash a classmate and still attend dances," muttered Sam, his eyes not leaving whatever people he was looking at. Following his gaze Puck could see a group of hockey players and some guys he wasn't sure even went to school smirking back their way.

Puck's eye twitched and he knew he was probably squeezing Kurt's hand too hard. "Those pricks make any move and we're all here to protect you." Sam ducked his head in thanks but did touch his bruised jaw absently. Puck knew the guy was no coward and would face them again if he had to – but it had to be hard to see the people who had hurt him standing there as if they had nothing to answer for. Purposely moving to block Sam's view of the goon squad Puck waggled his eyebrows. "Shouldn't you be on the look out for someone else?"

Sam's instant expression change from pouting teen to goofy grinning idiot was almost too cute and Puck had to flick a glance at Kurt, just in case his boyfriend could read his mind and didn't want him thinking of other guys as cute.

"He went to get us drinks, I was barely in the door before he came and said hello," Sam's eyes lit up as he spoke and Puck knew those two would be properly together by the end of the night. "I think he was more nervous than me and I was so anxious I called him Brain."

"Alright Pinky," soothed Kurt, taking Sam's arm and sitting him down. "Just breathe and we can strategize over who leads your first dance."

Puck let them go and continued to survey the room. He could tell that many people were looking their way but trying to not make it obvious. Not being a paranoid person Puck wasn't too worried but tried to imagine if it would be like this all the time – would every day he and Kurt were together be like they were on show? If so could they ever hope to just be themselves? He mentally shrugged – whatever happened they'd been through worse. Walking over to Mike he asked him if he'd seen where Finn went. Before Mike could answer Puck sensed trouble and spun around, half-a-dozen girls and guys stood in a row before their group. He didn't know any of them even though they seemed to be school age. They didn't say anything to begin with and just stood staring and Puck felt his gut turn over – this was not going to be good.

One of them, a girl with long brown hair that seriously needed a brush, marched forward and looked at him like he was a bit of road kill that had been festering for days.

"Fags," she hissed. "Should burn in hell." She opened up the jacket to reveal a white t-shirt, with a picture of a rainbow flag in flames. For the second time tonight all sound around Puck seemed to fall away and he just stared at the image. He looked up at her face.

Could someone really hate so much? Her face said yes and as the rest of her group took off their jackets to reveal similar shirts her hatred was shared. Seeing all this was like ice-water rushing down Puck's spine. It was one thing to know there were people who had such views but it was another to have it in his face. This wasn't some news report or blog – it was real and it was most definitely happening to him. He looked to Kurt for answers because while Puck could handle bullies and jocks who wanted to pick on weaker people he had no idea what to do here.

Kurt did not let him down and strutted over, poignantly ignoring the homophobic remarks thrown at him by the small group. He leaned into Puck, crossed his arms and gave the girl a once over. "Honey," he said, addressing Puck and acting like the girl and her group no longer existed. "I want to dance."

Puck grinned from ear to ear and held out his arm. "Lead the way princess."

They walked right through the group, daring them to stand their ground – the hateful half-dozen faltered and moved to let them through, with Kurt leading. Puck felt pride burst through his heart; he had the biggest bad-ass boyfriend ever!

The group tried to follow and taunt them but were swallowed by the rest of the Glee club and everyone in the area joining Puck and Kurt on the dance floor. A top 50 number was playing so they danced along trying to act like nothing was wrong but for all their acting Puck sensed the tension. As he turned around he saw the haters join another group by the front door who were holding banners with similar slogans to the shirts. There was an old guy leading them in a priest collar and Puck shook his head – of course this had been arranged by some local fundamentalist Church. At least the goon squad were not joining them, from what Puck could see they seemed just as surprised as all the other students in the room – he knew those kids in the shirts seemed unfamiliar, they didn't even go to their school. As they tried to keep dancing the church group's chants grew louder and some students started to shout at them to shut up and get out.

This could get ugly real quick and Puck did a quick check of the people around him to make sure they could exit as a group if needed. He held Kurt tightly and forced a smile – this was not the night of gentle 'outing' he had in mind. He had expected some comments, some slurs and mocking from the more homophobic students but not this outright hate from a group that had specifically organised themselves to disrupt the dance. Shouts grew louder as the anti-gay group raised their voices and were matched by a good number of the student body trying to shout them down. At least that was a good sign but Puck knew how quick such a thing could turn around and checked for the twentieth time where the nearest exit was.

Where were the damned teachers and why hadn't they shut down the protestors yet? He saw a few of the faculty trying to talk with the preacher but the others had disappeared – why was he not surprised? As a gap opened in the crowd, which was getting increasingly unsettled, he saw Mr Schuester making his way towards the hate group with Figgins in tow. That made him feel a little better but he doubted they would have any more luck. It would probably take the cops to remove these people and they may not even turn up unless things got out of hand. As the shouting grew louder Puck felt his chest tighten and breathing suddenly seemed difficult. It shouldn't happen like this, all the work he'd put in with the anti-bullying and he couldn't even protect the people he loved at one school dance. Tears sprung to his eyes but at least he managed to get air to his lungs – this just wasn't right. He hung his head and barely moved to the music as the feeling of uselessness built within him.

"Hey!" Kurt virtually shouted in his ear and his hand forced Puck's head up to make eye contact. "Don't you do that," warned Kurt. "A few nutjobs can't bring us down okay."

"Is it always going to be this way," muttered Puck. "Will it always have to be us against them?"

"I don't know about that," said Kurt with a smile as he cocked his head to look over Puck's shoulder. "Sometimes people surprise you."

Turning around Puck felt sure his jaw would hit the ground. Over by the hate group stood Karofsky and by his side like always Azimio – jabbing their fingers at the preacher and then pointing at the door. He smiled, who would have thought it possible? Just as he figured maybe he should go back up his former teammates a group of the goon squad beat him to it.

"Shit," he swore. "This is gonna be bad."

Amazingly though the goon squad moved to stand by Karofsky and Azimio, their body language saying they were also telling the hate group to get out.

"What the hell?"

"I have no idea," answered Kurt. "Karofsky I can believe but those guys?"

"You can thank Blaine," said Sam, joining the couple and dragging a blushing Blaine along. "You should have seen it – went straight up and asked them what they thought of the banners and why they weren't backing up their classmates – none of them said they _agreed_ with those slogans but they went on about free speech," Sam smiled and gave Blaine a one armed hug. "So he said fair enough, maybe next time they'll turn up with ones saying women are just property and that black Americans should be moved to separate schools. It was so awesome."

"You're exaggerating," said Blaine, still blushing. "I just tried to put it in perspective."

"Well it worked, well done Blaine," said Kurt.

"Won't be enough," shrugged Blaine. "I've seen these types before – they picket funerals for goodness sake."

"Short of violence what else can we do?" asked Sam.

All the lights suddenly went out and the music stopped. After a few seconds just the lights at the top seats came on, showing Finn and Artie surrounded by the band members.

"Sorry to interrupt the dancing," announced Finn, using a microphone that easily drowned out the yelling and shouting from the opposing groups. "We'll play a song shortly but first I really need to speak with all the McKinley High students here tonight." He waited a few seconds as almost everyone turned and looked up to where he was. "Thanks guys," he said in that typical Finn fashion that somehow made everyone like him. The hate group were continuing to chant but the sound system was far too powerful for them to overcome.

"I'm a lucky guy," continued Finn. "I've got a lot of friends… but I only ever had one best friend." He grinned down at Puck as Kurt squeezed his hand and leaned into him – Puck knew that he must be smiling like an idiot. "And two times I've almost lost him - most recently it was cancer, but the first time," Finn paused and his smile faded. "The first time was all my fault. He came to me with a secret, one which should have cemented the bond we've had since childhood but instead I allowed my fear, and my ignorance, to destroy it. But like I said, I'm a lucky guy – because I got him back. I can't change what happened, but neither can I ignore the fact that I spent so much time blaming him when I should have been standing by his side in support." The ceiling lights were coming back on but only on a low setting. "Puck, I'm sorry - ." Finn hesitated, looking like he'd forgotten what to say but Puck knew him better and could tell he was fighting back tears. "You always called me your boy – and if I'd listened properly I would have known you were letting me know you loved me, so I love you too man."

Puck chuckled, only Finn could say that and make it _not_ sound gay.

"But enough about me," Finn's smile returned. "We've had a good year McKinley – we've won games, singing comps, jazz recitals," he nodded to the band members around him as the crowd cheered. "And made national headlines." A wave of muttering cut out the cheers. "Oh!" exclaimed Finn, putting on his stupid face. "We're not proud of that?" more murmurings met his words. "So does anyone here, once they've left McKinley, want to be known to have come from _that_ school? You know, the one famous for bullying? No?" He searched the room but it was silent, even the hate group had stopped making noise. "Then how about doing something about it!" shouted Finn. "Stop waiting for someone else to change things… and change it yourselves – would you like to make headlines for something good?" A chorus of 'yes' filled the room. "Then from this moment make it different," continued Finn. "Stop the bullying, stop the hate. No-one is saying we all have to be friends, but is it too hard to just be friendly?" Finn pointed at Puck. "I stuffed up big time but got a second chance – but it wasn't until I accepted how wrong I was until that could happen." He stopped again and Puck was sure you could hear a pin drop, Finn had their total and utter attention. "I want everyone right now to put up their hand if they want to change, put up your hand if you want zero tolerance on bullying and hate at McKinley High – let it be our choice to make this happen… let's take responsibility for our own actions." Finn put up his hand. "Who's with me?"

Just about everyone Puck could see put their hands up immediately. Through the crowd he saw some stragglers take a few seconds but eventually it certainly seemed like every hand was in the air; pretty impressive since not everyone here was actually a student of the school. He didn't have to look to see if the hate group had their hands up, that would be asking too much. Hearing laughter though he did turn and laughed himself, two of the haters had their hands in the air to the embarrassment of the rest of the group.

"Okay!" shouted Finn. "Let's consider that a win and get on with some dancing – hit it guys."

The jazz band started up with a blues beat and Finn slipped on a fedora hat and sunglasses that matched his dark suit. As he started talking before singing Puck realised the need for the accessories and shouted his approval – he loved the Blues Brothers and wondered if that had helped Finn's song choice.

"We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight and we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of the West Lima Baptist Church who have chosen to join us here for the Winter Ball at this time. We do sincerely hope you'll all enjoy the show and please remember people, that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there're still some things that make us all the same. You, me, _them_, everybody… everybody."

The band revved up the beat and the song started properly. Not hesitating Puck grabbed Kurt around the waist and started dancing up close and personal.

"_Everybody needs somebody  
Everybody needs somebody to love, someone to love (Someone to love)  
Sweetheart to miss (Sweetheart to miss)  
Sugar to kiss (Sugar to kiss)  
I need you, you, you (You, you, you)  
I need you, you, you (You, you, you)  
I need you, you, you (You, you, you) in the morning (I need) (You, you, you)  
When my souls on fire (I need) (You, you, you)  
Sometimes I feel, I feel a little sad inside  
When my baby mistreats me, I never, never, never have a place to hide  
I need you_."

The crowd cheered as Finn sang, with Artie helping along on the chorus and bass notes. As he spun himself and Kurt around Puck could see everyone coupled up as you would expect. Some surprises included Mercedes and Karofsky and Quinn with Azimio. Puck laughed as he realized how soon the night had turned from terrible to awesome – and how it was all thanks to his friends and loved ones.

"_Sometimes I feel, I feel a little sad inside  
When my baby mistreats me, I never, never, never have a place to hide  
I need you, you, you  
I need you, you, you (I need you)  
I need you, you, you (I need you)  
I need you, you, you (I need you)  
(I need you) I need you; _

_"You know people when you do find somebody  
Hold that woman, hold that man  
Love him, please him, squeeze her, please her, hold her  
Squeeze and please that person, give 'em all your love  
Signify your feelings with every gentle caress (Signify)  
Because it's so important to have that special somebody  
To hold (Hold), kiss (Kiss), miss (Miss), squeeze (Squeeze) and please (Please)…_

_"Everybody needs somebody (I need you)  
Everybody needs somebody to love (Everybody), someone to love (Needs somebody)  
Sweetheart to miss (Everybody)  
Sugar to kiss (Needs somebody)  
I need you, you, you (You, you, you)  
I need you, you, you (You, you, you)  
I need you, you, you (You, you, you)  
I need you, you, you (You, you, you)  
I need you, you, you (Everybody)  
I need you, you, you (Needs somebody)  
I need you, you, you (Everybody)  
I need you, you, you (Needs somebody)  
In the morning (Everybody)  
When my souls on fire (Needs somebody)  
When I need that woman of mine (Everybody)  
I need you, you, you, you (Needs somebody)  
I need you, you, you, you (Everybody)  
I need you, you, you (Needs somebody)  
I need you!_."

The room erupted in cheers and calls for an encore. Puck almost checked to see what had happened to the church group but decided he didn't care, not when he had the love of his life in his arms and ready for a thorough kissing.

He didn't disappoint.

Tbc:


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

The Winter Ball part 2

It was three more songs before Puck had to take a seat and Kurt was impressed; he knew how easily Puck still got tired so to stay on the dance floor that long was quite a feat. Kurt would have joined him too but Mercedes grabbed him and refused to let go and after her Quinn, Santana and even Blaine left Sam's side long enough for a quick groove to some horrid eighties number Kurt felt sure he would never listen to let alone dance. Somewhere along the way the hate group had disappeared, whether from shouting themselves hoarse and being drowned out or by threats of removal Kurt didn't care. He was unsure too how to handle the guys who had actually stood up to the group. Just because they didn't want the hate group here did not mean they would be friendly to Kurt now. Perhaps only time would tell.

"Zoning out on me again" Quinn whispered in his ear. When had she replaced Sam? Kurt was sure he should have noticed.

"Sorry," he spoke over the music. "Just pondering how tonight was full of surprises."

"Karofsky a great dancer being one of them," laughed Quinn.

"I am sure that is something I will never have to find out," muttered Kurt darkly.

Quinn grinned and took the lead as the music changed. "He was very smooth and quite the gentleman, Finn had better watch out because a man who can move like that… phew," she fanned herself with a free hand.

"Careful," smirked Kurt. "Excepting Finn you have a record of boyfriends who end up finding their own boyfriends."

They looked at each other, the laughter on both their lips before Quinn broke first while speaking, "And the jury's still out on him."

"Oh honey," Kurt shook his head. "The boy can sing but no-one who dances so badly has a queer bone in his body."

Quinn smiled at Kurt reaffirming Finn's heterosexuality. "Still, it was a good thing he did – supporting you and Puck and getting the students to accept zero tolerance."

"It was," agreed Kurt. "He's become quite the leader, you're truly the power couple once again."

Her eyes flicking to where Puck sat chatting with Sam and Blaine Quinn shrugged. "We may have some competition."

"No danger there," stated Kurt primly. "Blaine doesn't go to McKinley."

"I wasn't talking about them," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Us?" Kurt faulted on a swing step and laughed. "I'm not at McKinley either remember?"

"Well not for now," smirked Quinn. "But that could change… Puck's very persuasive you know."

"I know," Kurt smiled at his boyfriend who sensed it and gave a toothy grin back his way. "But for now you're safe Ms Fabrey – the money Dad and Carol put in for tuition they'd kill me if I transferred back."

After Quinn Kurt finally managed to leave the dance floor and made his way to Puck. He was still smiling and talking with Tina but Kurt could tell Puck was reaching his limit by the weariness in his eyes. To be sure Kurt wanted this night to continue but was not sure it could get any better. Puck had come out to the whole school and also proclaimed his love to Kurt. If he could get Puck home with enough energy left to fool around then it would be perfect. Kurt leered at the thought and refused to feel guilty, he was a teenage boy after all.

"I know that look," said Puck huskily. "Are we going to the nearest janitor's closet?"

Kurt blushed since it has been said in front of company, although it was a good thing Puck could suggest having sex with a guy in front of others.

"Easy tiger," he muttered, trying to hide his momentary embarrassment. "I may have other offers to field."

Puck's eyes narrowed and he surveyed the people around them. "No-one would dare," he growled, then smiled. "But it would confirm I've hooked the hottest boyfriend."

"And I have the most narcissistic."

"You love me."

"Actually," Kurt sat next to him and leant in to his ear. "I really do." It was almost unnoticeable but Puck shivered and Kurt felt the warmth within him at making Puck feel that way. Sure, it may have been obvious but just as Puck telling him it was important for Kurt to return the favour. They were in love, but it was nice to let each other know it. Waiting until Puck had seemed to recover a little Kurt pulled him back up for some more dancing – it was what they were here for after all.

There were two top 50s but then a few slower golden oldies and Kurt moved closer, melding his body with Puck's. He knew that his boyfriend did like to be called Noah sometimes but in his head he had reconciled Noah and Puck as the same person. As they moved around the floor Kurt took no notice of the couples around them and concentrated on the feel and texture of Puck's body. The returning musculature was evident, his upper body especially and he could detect his abdomen doing a lot of the work as they twirled and twisted around. His strong hand held Kurt in the small of his back and his thumb traced lazy circles, sending goose-bumps up Kurt's spine. Their heads were together so Kurt could rub his cheek against Pucks and enjoy the abrasiveness of his boyfriend's slight stubble. There were no words exchanged, they didn't need to as they communicated through touch and gentle sighs. Maybe Kurt had always pictured his perfect partner being taller than himself and engulfing him with his body but now Kurt saw that as the silly and yes, girlish fantasy, that it was. He and Puck were of a height, while slightly broader Puck was no larger than Kurt especially since Kurt had his own dancer muscles to match Puck's gym built ones. They were equals and Kurt saw this as the perfection it was meant to be. He hummed along to the music contentedly and gently kissed Puck's ear, holding his boyfriend as close as he was being held and wishing tonight would never end.

They couldn't do it forever though, especially Puck, and they made their way to the food tables and sat nearby once they'd loaded up. The comfortable silence between them continued but Kurt knew that the simple touch of Puck's knee against his own was better than conversation at this point. His earlier tension at being the couple 'on show' had already dissipated but he was sure more people than would normally came to say hello and compliment them on their dancing. It was unerringly courteous and Kurt thought this was what it must feel to be in the twilight zone. The majority of people here were McKinley students and yet the harassment was non-existent. Could the Rainbow Slushie website and Finn's speech really have changed things in such a short time?

Kurt certainly hoped that was the case as he leaned into his boyfriend and finished off his frosted cake. Maybe if this continued he really could consider a return to McKinley. He smiled as he saw Blaine dancing with Sam, not as close as he'd danced with Puck but then they were on their first date – Sam was obviously doing all the talking and Blaine was politely laughing. They may last, or not – but at least they were giving it a shot. It was also great to see Santana and Brittany slow dancing, poor Artie thought Kurt, but then he probably already knew – he was quite smart.

For just a moment the entire scene seemed to slow down, even the light shimmered more slowly and through a break in the crowd Kurt spotted a lady dressed in the purest white. His heart thumped loudly in his chest and he gasped as his eyes met ones similar to his own, above lips he had also inherited. She waved and smiled at him, tears in her eyes, then everything returned to normal and she was gone. For the first time in his life he felt okay that she was gone.

"Did you see her?" whispered Puck reverently.

Kurt could only nod as he clutched Puck's hand a little too tightly. He knew that he would not see her again.

His mother's work was done.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKP

As the last song played Kurt searched for wherever Blaine had gone, since he was their ride and was staying over in any case.

"They're meeting us outside," supplied Puck, obviously knowing Kurt's thoughts.

"They?"

"Apparently the blonde boy wonder is joining us… not surprising really."

"I hope he doesn't expect us to stay up and watch the SyFy channel."

Puck stood and wrapped an arm around Kurt, sneaking a quick kiss. "Nah, I think they have plans to get to know each other better."

Kurt gasped in feigned shock. "Not if their sharing my bedroom space they're not."

"Such a prude," chuckled Puck, pulling Kurt towards the doors.

Outside the winter chill hit quickly and Kurt snuggled close to Puck as they tried to find Sam and Blaine. Since his face was pressed into Puck's neck Kurt saw no trouble but felt it when his boyfriend's muscles tensed and he stopped walking.

"What is-." His question was cut short as Kurt saw the people standing before them. They were unfamiliar but their silence and stance were menacing. Without a word Puck moved in front to shield Kurt and he stared down the group. Knowing they would stand a better chance as a united front Kurt moved to beside Puck, puffing himself up and giving his best icy stare. He knew Puck wasn't happy about it but he had to understand that Kurt did not always need to be protected. Whatever they did seemed to be enough and the group walked off as if nothing had happened. He let out a breath and heard Puck do the same.

"We can't change the whole world overnight you know," Kurt said as he saw how frustrated Puck looked.

"Yeah," Puck muttered. "Just spoils the night you know."

"No," Kurt bumped Puck's shoulder. "It doesn't because we won't let it. Let's find Blaine and go home… and have a drink," he laughed at Puck's incredulous expression. "Since no-one spiked the punch we'll have to raid Dad's liquor cabinet."

"Hey guys!" yelled Sam, joining them with Blaine on his arm. "S' up, are we going or what?"

"Yep," answered Puck, grinning from ear to ear. "Kurt has it all planned out."

KPKPKPKPKP

The whiskey burned but in a good way as Kurt finished off a third shot. Puck did the same and scowled. "There was no mention of having the house to ourselves earlier."

"Was a surprise," Kurt slurred just a little bit. "Didn't want you sweeping us out of there the moment you knew."

"Pffft, I would have waited at least three songs."

"Really?"

"Two?"

"You would never've left the limo," suggested Sam, somehow two more shots ahead and little sign of drunkenness. "You'd have Kurt back here and pressed into the mattress while we were still walking up the stairs."

"Well… yes." Instead of sounding ashamed Puck's voice was full of pride that it was indeed what he would have done.

"Hic!"

Kurt laughed at Blaine's only comment and patted the guy's curly haired head. Kurt may be a light-weight but Blaine was a super light-weight – two shots and he was staring at them cross eyed. It was a fair bet the Dalton boys did not get the chance to drink… probably ever. Pity for Sam if he was expecting any action but Kurt suspected between Sam's gentlemanly ways and Blaine's inexperience there was not ever going to be more than kissing between them tonight. Probably the same for himself and Puck if they kept drinking.

They were sitting on the floor around the coffee table with a bottle of Jamesons Irish whiskey almost finished in the middle, half eaten snacks and a card game long forgotten. Kurt had already texted his Dad to say they were home, not risking a phone conversation in case Burt gave him some safe sex advice. Quite apart form the fact Kurt was not going to have sex with Puck tonight it was still weird to have his father not only okay with such things but seeming to encourage it by taking Carol away to a motel for the night. With Finn having gone somewhere with Quinn they really did have the house to themselves and could go to separate rooms if the two couples wanted. Blaine _had_ offered to stay elsewhere but that was impossible now anyway due to his huge binge of two shots.

Mostly they were just rehashing the night's activities and getting a little drunk. Not exactly party animals but they didn't feel the need. A rumble announced an approaching storm and Kurt considered if they had candles ready, then realized he didn't care since he was wedged between Puck's legs with owner of said legs nibbling on his ear when he wasn't kissing the back of his neck.

"So was I imagining it or did Karofsky dance with Quinn?" Sam asked, pouring himself another shot and slamming it back without hesitation.

"Yup… Queen Quinny was with the fat man," Blaine slurred and Kurt couldn't decide what was more amusing, his drunkenness or his words.

"I _have_ already warned her given her past suitors," put in Kurt, softly nudging Puck behind him and flashing a toothy grin at Sam, who just poked his tongue and reached for the bottle again.

At least this time he poured three shots, finishing off the bottle and evidently not providing one for Blaine, who seemed past noticing. Puck reached for his and gave Kurt a mouthful of bicep, definitely on purpose.

"Maybe Quinn will stick it out with Finn this time," suggested Puck, his motions indicated to Kurt that he took the shot after saying this.

Kurt waited exactly three seconds before joining Sam in a fit of laughter.

PKPKPK

The vodka was pulled out next just as the storm hit. As he had predicted the power went out but they soon had a few tea candles out and continued their talk and drink. Blaine managed one more shot but after that his head hit the table, so they moved him on to his side and let his soft cat-like snores echo around the room. A blanket completed the cute factor and Kurt was pleased to notice that Sam changed positions so he could keep an eye on his date. Obviously Sam wanted to keep drinking but he wasn't giving up on Blaine entirely.

"To the Rainbow Slushie," announced Sam, clinking their glasses. "May we never know it anymore except in cyberspace."

"Cheers," both Kurt and Puck said, downing their drinks in unison. The vodka might go down easier thought Kurt, but the whiskey smelt better and left a pleasant after-taste.

"To Sam", announced Puck, deftly preparing another round from behind Kurt. "For staring those bastards down." He saluted Sam and this time they all sipped instead of taking the whole amount. "It can't have been easy dude, I respect that."

Sam blushed and ran a hand over his stitches, Kurt had noticed him do that a lot and Sam probably didn't even realize he _was_ doing it.

"It was kind of scary," he dropped his eyes. "I couldn't even go to the bathroom alone, I tagged along with Finn who probably thought I was hitting on him."

Kurt patted his arm. "Maybe now the students have agreed to stop the bullying Figgins will go after them."

"Nah," Sam shook his head and sighed. "Half of them aren't even students and I just want to forget it happened you know?"

Thinking about the way he said it Kurt nodded slowly in understanding. "Either way you know we're with you." He hugged Sam and Puck joined them and they stayed that way for a while. It wasn't sexual, just the comfort of togetherness.

KPKPKPKP

In the early hours another thunder storm had come through and woken Kurt. Next to him Puck slept on, his profile illuminated by the flashes of lightning. As Kurt had predicted the alcohol prevented anything beyond some fierce kissing and inept groping. It also left them still half clothed, if boxers and singlets counted as clothing. He breathed deeply, enjoying the smell of the storm mixed with Puck's natural scent. Watching Puck's chest rise and fall in the low light became almost meditational as sleep eluded Kurt. They had the heat on so the sheets had been kicked down long ago and one of Puck's hands absently lay upon Kurt's hip. Tracing a line up his hand and arm to Puck's shoulder Kurt smiled at the smooth texture of his boyfriend's skin and the soft dry warmth he exuded.

It was hard to believe they had gone from barely friends to close lovers in such a short time. Well it had been months but for much of that Puck had been sick, and maybe thought Kurt, that is what helped. They had got to really know each other, not just jumped into bed and relied just on the physical. He knew that Puck still kept things back, like his ongoing treatment and what the doctors were telling him. Sure, Puck seemed back to almost full health but that didn't mean the cancer was gone – just that they had it under control. His hand moved down to Puck's stomach. There, under that perfection, the sickness was still within him. Hard to imagine really as his hand was lifted up and down by Puck's steady breaths. It was a bad memory now, how ill Puck had looked and how badly the experimental treatment had affected him. Kurt still saw Finn look at Puck with sadness sometimes, maybe thinking what Kurt did – if it happened again could he survive another round?

Snuggling into Puck's side Kurt finally felt his lids growing heavy again. Like Puck was always telling him – if it happened he'd face it then. They had to enjoy the here and now. His eyes closed but the thought nagged him; he loved Noah Puckerman and fell more in love every day – but was he setting himself for more heartbreak if the worst happened? Sleep claimed Kurt with his question unanswered.

Tbc…


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

_[Finn's Voice] Here's what you missed: Mr Schue told everyone Puck had gone to Juvie but really he was sick – and only Kurt figured it out. He wasn't just sick but very sick, the dying kind – but he took some experimental treatment that saved his life. He even had cool hallucinations and got to meet Kurt's Mom in a vision. Now, Puck and Kurt are together, so are Sam and Blaine but that's another story. The Winter Ball was a big success and they got to dance in front of everyone, mostly due to Finn's great speech and Puck's anti-bullying campaign. Puck's may have survived but he's not cured, Kurt knows but isn't saying anything. Did I mention my... I mean Finn's great speech. That's what you missed on __**Always Shout Fire**__._

_**Author's Note: Nearing the end now, thanks to everyone who has stuck with me and been patient with the last few chapters. I've been busy in the real word, and then on holiday with (gasp) no internet. Anyway, the feedback has been amazing and the predictions equally so, had I not already had a plot set I may have taken heed; but experience tells me to stick with the original idea. On that note things are falling into place, and even though I wrote it I had to go back and read a few chapters to be sure of what had happened. I suggest re-reading Chapter 11 (the weird one) to get the proper impact from this one. Oh, and smut alert for this chapter too.**_

To the story:

The worst of winter had passed but it was still colder than he remembered as Puck stood outside the doctor's office waiting to be picked up. He blamed the drugs for thinning his blood and conveniently ignored the fact his mother had told him to wear more layers today; it was easier to blame the medication than his ma. A gust of wind blew chills across his spine but then he wasn't sure it was just the cold. As if to emphasise the point the sun came out and shone right into Puck's eyes. Yep, still cold.

He hugged his arms close and wondered how long Finn was going to be. Once again its not as if he had given Finn an exact time but Puck's mood was not up for being understanding.

A motorbike pulled up near him but Puck ignored it in favour of keeping an eye out for Finn's ugly truck. It was only when he felt a glare upon him did Puck take a second look at the rider.

"Kurt?"

The helmeted figure nodded and reached behind, unslinging a bag which he threw at Puck's feet. Inside was a riding jacket, similar to Kurt's but in Puck's size and with more black. Wasting no time Puck put it on and grinned at his boyfriend, doing a little spin to Kurt's nodded approval – it did fit perfectly of course. Kurt had removed his helmet and unclipped another from the other side of the bike, he brought it over in a sexy swagger that had Puck smirking and giving his own nod. Dressed in the leathers, with his top zip undone to show the skin-tight red skivvy beneath, Kurt was one of the hottest things Puck had ever seen... in his unbiased opinion.

"Guess who got their road licence today," Kurt said proudly, slipping the helmet over Puck's head and tightening the chin strap. "Course, I shouldn't be taking passengers but Finn mentioned you needed a pick up, so." He slipped Puck's visor up and kissed him. "Hope you don't mind." Kurt laughed at Puck's inability to respond and led him by the hand over to the motorcycle. He jabbered on about letters and numbers and horsepower but all Puck really understood was Honda and zero-to-sixty. Kurt, with his helmet back on, sat on the bike and patted the place behind him, not Puck's fault his eyes lingered on Kurt's backside for longer than was necessary. Sliding on behind him, in what he hoped was a smooth move, Puck wrapped his arms around Kurt and tried not to giggle like a four year old when Kurt started the engine. The vibration combined with being pressed against his boyfriend gave Puck an instant hard on, his earlier frustrations forgotten as Kurt patted his clasped hands and gunned the throttle.

The side streets of Lima whizzed by as Kurt took them from Main Street through to McKinley High, not stopping but just slowing down to the incredulous stares of a hundred students enjoying their lunch on and around the front steps. Puck wasn't sure what Kurt was showing off more, his new transport or his boyfriend, which didn't bother Puck because hello, he _was_ a stud. They moved on to the park where Puck thought they might stop to play some soccer but instead Kurt kept going, through the residential area and then up the small hill that locals affectionately called Mount Lima. Actually Puck was pretty sure it wasn't high enough to be a mountain, but then there was nothing higher in the area. Stopping at the lookout Kurt jumped off the bike, tore off his helmet hollered in excitement, his face flush and grinning.

"That was fantastic! Do you know how long I've wanted to do that?"

"Since you were a little kid-."

"Since I was a little kid – hey!" Kurt scowled as he realised Puck had spoken at the same time. "Well yes, you know Noah," Kurt leered. "That jacket looks really good on you."

Undoing the front as he got off the bike Puck returned the heated look. "I could say the same... any reason you've brought me to make out point?"

"Really, is that what its called?" said Kurt innocently but removing his own jacket and carefully hanging it on the throttle. "Imagine the coincidence given the thoughts I'm having."

Puck looked around and was glad to see they were alone before he grabbed Kurt and pulled him to the ground. He went straight for Kurt's neck, nuzzling and tugging on his ear with teeth, knowing he loved that and it was sure-fire way to get him as hard as Puck was. Groaning Kurt ground into Puck, revealing his ear nibbling had worked and as their erections touched, even with clothing between them, they gasped in pleasure and Puck caught Kurt in a passionate kiss. It had been a few weeks since the Winter Ball and much of their spare time had been spent in moments like this. Puck wasn't complaining since the passion only seemed to escalate the more times they did this. He put that passion into the kiss and felt Kurt respond, his hand moving down to clasp Puck through his jeans and knead the head of his cock. Whispering Kurt's name Puck used his own hand to undo Kurt's belt and pants, slipping in to give Kurt the same treatment. The slickness of Kurt's cock revealed the ride had turned him on too if the pre-come was any indicator; Puck knew his own was already leaking profusely.

"Need you now," demanded Kurt, and who was Puck to refuse. He slithered down Kurt's torso, kissing and lightly biting him through the skivvy. In seconds he had pulled down Kurt's pants and underwear and he took a moment to admire Kurt's throbbing prick, glistening in the afternoon sun and surrounded by thick black hair. Kurt might be perfectly coiffed everywhere else but he refused to shave down there – claiming it was hotter to let it grow... Puck heartily agreed. He enveloped the knob and sucked up the pre-come, swirling his tongue to gather every drop before taking more of Kurt in until his nose was buried in pubes. Kurt moaned his name loudly and thrust up, fingers digging into his shoulders. Bobbing and sucking Puck expertly deep throated his boyfriend, practice really had made perfect. As Kurt's breathing quickened Puck palmed himself then undid his zip to free his own cock, unable to wait he stroked himself while sucking off Kurt. Practice had also taught them about timing and as Kurt thrust again Puck used his free hand to grab Kurt's balls and squeeze them gently, sending Kurt almost to a thrashing point and calling to a deity he didn't believe in. Seconds later Puck was momentarily interrupted as Kurt forced him out of his jacket, his brand new jacket.

"Always the practical one," said Puck breathlessly.

"Not getting that stained on the first day," huffed Kurt before throwing his head back as Puck used one slicked finger to trace his ass. "Fuck yeah," hissed Kurt. "Put it in me Puck, put it fucking in me!"

Puck complied and thought Kurt had made noises before, now he managed to combine several deities with Puck's name and a whole heap of swearing that no-one would ever believe the demure Kurt Hummel could produce. Returning Kurt's cock to his mouth Puck effectively trapped Kurt from being able to move, all he could do was lower onto Puck's finger before thrusting up into his mouth; Puck knew he couldn't last long this way and stroked himself to try and match Kurt's movement. He could go as quick but Kurt was obviously closer to the edge, his exposed skin was glowing with sweat and his thigh muscles straining in ecstasy as he lifted himself and therefore Puck clear off the ground. His breathing hitched and Puck felt that familiar high pitched gasp that always preceded Kurt's orgasm. Kurt didn't disappoint and thrust in smaller but faster motions, knowing Puck would take him all in. "Fuck Noah, fuck fuck fuck!" With that Kurt came, his semen spraying into Puck's eager mouth and his ass clenching onto Puck's finger. Kurt continued thrusting after he was spent and made those little mewing sounds that had Puck falling in love with him all over again. He gently eased Kurt down and slid his finger out, smiling at Kurt's expression of 'I can't believe that just happened'.

It took Kurt only half a minute to recover and he slapped Puck's hand away from stroking his own member. "My turn," grinned Kurt and lowered his mouth over Puck's cock. The soft heat sent Puck's vision to white and he had to clench his fists to not grab Kurt's head, for some reason he didn't like it. Already being close it didn't take long for Kurt's ministrations to bring Puck to the edge, and as he yelled Kurt's name, right over it. Kurt returned the favour and swallowed every drop as Puck bucked and thrust, his cock pulsating with his breaths. They lay entwined after it, both their cocks left out and the sweat drying on their bodies as the sun sunk lower. Kurt's breath returned to normal first and he moved up to kiss Puck's lips.

"What's wrong?" murmured Kurt, his cheek resting against Puck's.

"Nothing, this is perfect," he answered, wondering why Kurt would ask that question.

Kurt hummed an okay as he tucked himself and Puck back in, deftly zipping Puck up without catching anything vital. Standing and pulling Puck up Kurt smiled sadly. "I'll give you a free pass for now Puckerman, but after dinner you tell me everything okay."

Puck sighed and nodded. As with much of what Kurt sometimes 'asked' – it wasn't really a request but an order.

KPKPKPKPKP

Moving the salad out of the way Finn grimaced and reached further back into the refrigerator – he was positive he'd left a slice of pie back here last week. His scowl deepened as he found celery sticks, carrot slices and half an avocado but no pie.

"Kurt," he muttered, glaring up towards where Kurt's room now was. The boy would discard anything after a day, preaching about bacteria and cross contamination but honestly, how could week old pie be dangerous? As he exhausted the possibility his precious pie had escaped the OCD of Kurt it was all Finn could do not to march up and give his step-brother a good talking to. Actually impulse control was not one of Finn's strong points so he did just that.

"Kurt!" he growled, pushing open his door – but the room was empty. That was odd, Kurt was usually home by now. A noise from the living room answered his question.

"Kurt," he said with less ferocity as he spied Kurt on the couch with Puck, watching some fashion show on mute as Kurt was explaining to Puck the benefits of wool clothing over blends. Tragically Finn actually understood some of it having been exposed to Kurt on previous rants. Speaking of rants. "My pie is missing."

Two sets of eyes peered at him like he was speaking another language. "Pie – fridge – mine... gone."

"I did not touch your... pie."

"I ate it Hudson, like four days ago."

"But," Finn's eyes misted up. "It was my pie."

Kurt stood and got real close. "Are you for real?" He felt Finn's forehead and poked him in the side, which made Finn maybe wince more than was necessary. "I think," explained Kurt, looking back to his boyfriend. "That its Finn's time of the month."

"Oh hah hah," said Finn flatly as the other two giggled away. "Its really not funny – all week at school the only thing that got me through was the knowledge that here at home, waiting all patient like, was a big slice of apple and cherry pie, with extra thick crust and glazed coating." His mouth watered at the thought and he had to swallow it down. "Now the question is what are _you_ going to do about it?"

"Me?" said Kurt, a hand to his own chest. "Why me, he ate it," he pointed at Puck.

"The partner rule," said Finn smugly.

"The partner rule!" Kurt crossed his arms. "I made that up, there's no such thing," he said primly.

"Is so," shot back Finn. "You said anything my girlfriend's do in this house I am responsible for – you called it the partner rule and even wrote it on the whiteboard."

Kurt huffed loudly. "That was because I was sure Quinn was stealing my moisturiser – it costs $80 an ounce you know."

"Pie's only five bucks for the whole lot – so you're getting off easy." For some reason that made Puck laugh dirtily and Finn tried to ignore it – some things don't change.

Kurt was still glaring but suddenly looked much more thoughtful. "This isn't just about some left over crust." He spun and pointed a finger at Puck who halted his second dirty laugh half-way through.

Wow thought Finn, talk about being whipped.

Kurt's eyes narrowed as he faced Finn again, then he did a 'OMG' face and gasped. "Quinn dumped you didn't she?"

"No," snapped Finn too quickly. "We ended it amicably."

"Oh no," sighed Puck from the couch. "You were dipping your finger in the fountain of Jew again weren't you?"

"Noah!" Kurt started then bent over in another fit of giggles while muttering about fingers and Jews. Finn so did not want to know about that one.

Waving his hands in frustration Finn took Kurt's seat next to Puck. "She said I was looking at Rachel during Math, which is impossible because we don't have that class together."

"Yes you do," said Kurt in confusion as he sat on the armrest.

"No because we're doing calculus this month, so its not Math anymore is it." Finn nodded, noticing Kurt giving Puck a weird look – it was similar to the one Quinn had given him when he tried to tell her the same thing.

"Well in any case," stated Kurt, patting his arm. "I am sorry, you and Quinn are good together – maybe she just needs more time."

"I don't know," said Finn, frowning.

"Why?"

"Cause I _was_ looking at Rachel, she's been looking pretty hot since she dumped the animal sweater look and may have gone up a breast size."

Kurt and Puck slapped their foreheads at the same time.

"So," continued Finn, bumping Kurt's arm. "About that pie."

Kurt looked to the ceiling and rolled his eyes. "Fine, where do I get it."

"Only one place in town," grinned Finn. "Sally's Diner."

"What!" exploded Kurt. "That's the exact opposite side of town."

"Yup."

They had a staring match but Kurt looked away first. "I guess a ride is something I need after... no Puck – you stay."

"But-."

"Don't you have things to discuss with Finn."

This time Finn watched Kurt and Puck have the staring match, and it was Puck who lost – nodding but smiling when Kurt gave him a kiss on the way out.

Finn knew Puck though, and he wouldn't want to talk straight away. "Xbox?"

"Read my mind dude."

Forty minutes later Puck threw the controller to the table and folded his arms in defeat. "Now I know you're single – too much time alone to practice."

"Well not as if I'm going to study." They both laughed at that. "So," said Finn, moving closer to Puck. "Spill." He knew Puck had a doctor's appointment earlier and figured it was connected – Puck didn't seem unduly unhappy so it had to be good news.

Licking his lips Puck gave a half smile. "The doc said it was looking good, that," he gulped and nodded. "It seems I'm in remission."

Finn's jaw dropped and he felt his eyes tear up – he knew what that meant since he'd read up on the stuff since Puck had been sick. "Dude, that's fantastic!" He hugged his best friend and did a little happy dance inside, then stood and dragged Puck up, doing a happy dance for real. "So that means you're all good... its over."

"Yeah," said Puck, still laughing from Finn's little dance. "I mean I'll need regular check ups and there's still some side-effects of the drugs but... yeah." He grinned, a real and Finn could tell, open grin that Puck was showing more often these days."

Finn hugged him again. "This is awesome, I bet Kurt is ecstatic."

Puck nodded. "I had him worried, I found out earlier then freaked about telling him."

"Why?"

Looking embarrassed Puck shrugged. "I was kind of worried that once I was all better Kurt might not want me anymore."

"Dude that's insane, he is so much in love with you it is nauseating," Finn winced at his words. "You know what I mean."

Puck laughed. "It was a little stupid and he told me so, speaking of which where is he?"

"Yeah," agreed Finn and looked at his watch. "Its not that far, his time's up."

Puck's face snapped towards him and his colour drained to a sickly white. "What did you say?"

Finn wondered what he'd done to make Puck react so badly. He looked at his watch again.

"I said time's up."

To be concluded...


	25. Chapter 25

-and now... the conclusion:

Chapter 25

"It was _the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way_," he paused and took a breath, blinking his eyes quickly to avoid any tears.

"Kurt, are you okay?"

Kurt smiled down at the blonde haired girl, her concerned eyes peering at him over the copy of _A Tale of Two Cities_. "I'm fine Stacy – just haven't read this for a long time."

What he wanted to tell her was that memories were a bitch and cropped up at all the wrong times – painful memories that stabbed like a knife and reminded him of times that he'd wished the Earth would open up and swallow him into oblivion. But Stacy was just a kid and would learn as Kurt had that you had to take the good with the bad; in fact you needed them to know the difference.

Minding Sam's siblings had become almost a fortnightly event, one which he wasn't sure who looked forward to it more, him or them. "You know Stace," he said, closing the book. "I don't feel like reading today, how about a movie?"

She clapped her hands and went to pick a DVD and came up clutching one as if it were the ring of power.

He glanced at the cover. "Perfect," he sighed, wondering how she had known to pick that exact movie. As the opening intro of Aladdin played he let her climb into his lap and hugging her close he lost himself in his own memories as Stacy was lost to the wonder of Disney.

Kurt Remembers

'_It was the best of times, it was the worst of times'_

The trip to the store was no trouble, although the roads were a little wet but as he glanced up there was no rain coming down any more. The weather app had said a cold front was moving in but Kurt figured he had time before it hit. Unfortunately a twenty minute wait at the shop, caused by an employee who thought her smoke break was more important than customer service, meant the cold front hit first. His clue was a gust of freezing air that almost tore the package out of his grip – he'd put too much time in to lose the pie however and almost dislocated a shoulder keeping the box upright. Once the box was secured on the back Kurt started the bike and carefully took off.

The shop assistant should have pissed him off and the weather would normally have him miserable but Kurt could not help but feel great. Life was good if having a boyfriend, a healthy Dad and sort-of full family was anything to go by. His marks were good, not top of the class like he would be at McKinley, but a B at Dalton was held in better stead than an A+ at McKinley. Sure he missed being in New Directions and seeing his friends everyday but he had to see the school year out before at least considering a return.

Half way home another gust made him run over the gutter and Kurt's father appeared in a bubble, saying to get off the pocket rocket and walk!

He figured his Dad would never say pocket rocket but Kurt was nothing if not a dutiful son.

The wind really picked up and he had to zip his collar up and left the helmet on with the visor lifted since he had no hat with him. It was a poorly lit part of Lima but Kurt knew the roads and the sparsely spaced streetlamps kept him on the footpath.

It was almost half-an-hour later that he smelt something on the air, a smell he recognised from years working in his father's shop – burnt rubber and smoking oil. He trotted along with the bike, a sickening feeling building in his guts.

His worst fears were confirmed when he saw a dark vehicle up against a tree, headlights flickering as the power went on and off; thankfully there was no fire but he would know that truck anywhere.

"Finn!" he yelled, almost dropping the bike as he rushed to the driver's door. The front was up against the tree, buckled in but not enough to intrude upon the cabin – thankfully. "Finn!" he yelled again, wrenching the door open and touching his step-brother on the shoulder. Finn flinched awake but looked very confused; he squinted at Kurt for a few seconds.

"Where's Puck?" they spoke at the same time. Kurt knew he had to look since the passenger seat was empty but he gave Finn a quick check first. The interior light was on and flickering so it was hard to see but there was no obvious blood and he was conscious. Somehow Kurt managed to form coherent thoughts and prioritized what he had to do.

Thrusting his phone into Finn's hand he told him to call an ambulance, mentally cursing himself for not calling them earlier, then they would not have been out looking for him. At least that's what he figured they were doing. Finn nodded and pressed numbers, bringing the phone up. Kurt waited no longer and left Finn to it.

"Puck!" he called this time, looking over the bonnet but the area was too dark and nothing showed in the flickering headlights.

"Puck! Noah!" he almost screamed as he ran around the tree and spotted an arm flung out from the very corner of the truck.

An arm with a hand that he could see was covered in blood in every flash of light.

KPKPKPKP

Stacy giggled in his lap and Kurt noticed that it was the market scene, where Aladdin was being chased by the guards. He smiled too and fondly remembered Puck's rendition in the school cafeteria. Even though it had been brought on by the tumor Puck had done a very good job and the story had soon become a legend to be told to any new students. Of course Puck had become a legend to be talked about on his own with the success of the Rainbow Slushie movement, now global with sister sites in Europe and South America. The fact that Puck was a former bully who had made good and become a champion for the 'losers' only enhanced the very newsworthy and bittersweet story of one Noah Puckerman.

"You look sad," said Stacy, staring at him instead of the movie.

"No I'm not," answered Kurt. "See, I'm smiling."

She shook her head. "Uh uh, that's a Sammy unsmile."

"Unsmile?"

She pointed at Kurt's face. "Sam used to look like that a lot, when we moved to the motel – he'd say everything was okay and that we'd have lots of fun sharing one room together." She pouted as only small girls and Rachel Berry could do. "But we knew he didn't mean it… he was really sad but wouldn't let us know."

Thankfully the Evans hadn't been homeless for too long. Sam's Dad had found another job, long hours and not as good money but it made enough for renting a house and Burt had given his Mom a part-time job taking care of the workshop's accounts. She had also got some shift work at the hospital which meant they needed a babysitter sometimes, because Sam had a social life now he had Blaine. Kurt probably would have helped out anyway but the Evans's young kids were such a delight he actually enjoyed hanging out with them.

"And you called it the Sammy unsmile," Kurt shook his head at child logic. "Well Stace, I am not unhappy… just melancholy."

She gave him a stink eye. "I don't know what that means." She sounded just like Sam sometimes.

"It means I'm a little gloomy," he pouted himself and she giggled again. "A little down but not upset – get it?"

"Not really," she said slowly. "But Sam always sings when he gets unsmiley." She looked at Kurt expectantly. He pretended to be confused until she nudged him.

"Fine," he said in diva mode. "What is the lady's request?"

She looked back at the TV screen and grinned, making Kurt gulp.

Oh no.

Stacy grabbed the remote and flicked through the chapters, finding the one she wanted.

"Ready?" she almost shouted. "You do the boy part."

He frowned, knowing he'd promised himself never to sing this, but she was so excited his refusal crumbled as the first bars started up.

"_I can show you the world  
Shining, shimmering, splendid  
Tell me, princess, now when did  
you last let your heart decide."  
_

As he sang Kurt felt the memories flood back in again.

Kurt Remembers

"Noah!" he felt like the entire world slowed down as he ran and knelt next to his boyfriend. "Noah," he said more softly and put a hand to Puck's face, his eyes were closed but Kurt felt breath coming from his lips. He gave a short sigh in relief and checked Puck for injuries. The bloodied hand was a result of a deep laceration on his wrist which Kurt did not hesitate to clamp a hand over. It was hard to see much else given the bad light; it was like trying to read in a lightning storm. The next flash made Kurt gasp as it revealed a dark stain spreading across Puck's abdomen.

_["__**I can open your eyes  
Take you wonder by wonder**__"]_

"No," he whispered. "No no no." He pulled up Puck's shirt and winced at the ugly wound. All he could see was torn skin and black inside. "Finn!" he yelled. "Get over here now!"

"Take off your jacket," Kurt ordered and bunched it up then pressed it to the wound. Puck groaned as he put pressure on and hoped that was a good sign – at least he was partially conscious.

"Oh God," Finn muttered, putting his hand over Kurt's to help. "This is all my fault."

"Accidents happen," muttered Kurt, not wanting to deal with a Finn guilt spiral right now. "Noah, can you hear me?" he spoke with what he hoped was a strong tone but in his head he was screaming and crying. This could not be happening.

"Hey princess," Puck's voice rasped out and a finger touched Kurt's cheek. "You're okay," Puck continued and sighed happily, his eyes glinting in the low light as he tried to focus on Kurt.

"I'm just great," snarked Kurt. "What the hell were you doing?"

His boyfriend smiled, Kurt couldn't see clearly but it looked like there was blood on his teeth. "Saving you."

"Dude stop talking, save your energy," said Finn, grimacing as he kept pressing on the jacket.

"Oh Finessa," said Puck, his smile almost becoming a laugh. "Don't you get it – she was showing me _my_ death, not Kurt's."

"Stop it," hissed Kurt. "No-one's dying today."

Puck grabbed his hand and turned serious. "I was sent back to save you… job done."

Kurt wanted to cry as he felt icy cold drops on his back – it was starting to rain again and wasn't that just perfect?

"No-one sent you back Noah – you survived because you had good doctors."

Shaking his head groggily Puck talked as his breath got shorter. "No, she sent me back… for you, the hand in blood, I thought… but it was me _not_ you."

["_**Over, sideways, and under  
On a magic carpet ride**__"_]

This was ridiculous thought Kurt. Puck would wear himself out with this nonsense but how could he shut him up? There was blood but he couldn't tell how much but probably too much. To be safe they had to keep Puck calm and still, not something he was currently as he wanted to keep talking.

How could you ever shut Puck up?

Sex was out.

Kurt shook his head internally at the inappropriate thought – he really had been around Noah Puckerman long enough to think like him.

That's it! He just had to think like him.

"Noah," he soothed. "I _am_ safe, you did it."

"You're-safe?" Puck was sounding more confused.

"But you're not," Kurt put his cheek against Puck's. "I need you with me Noah, if you go I won't be safe anymore."

"Finn-said-time's-up," Puck said breathlessly.

"No," whispered Kurt and kissed Puck on the lips. "Our time is just beginning, maybe you weren't just sent back to save me," he locked eyes with his boyfriend. "You were sent back so we could save each other."

Tears leaked from Puck's eyes and Kurt kissed him again. "You don't want to leave me do you?"

Puck shook his head, lips trembling.

_["__**A whole new world  
A new fantastic point of view**__"]  
_

"Then calm down," Kurt put his free hand over Puck's heart. "The ambulance will be here soon and I need you to hold on until then."

He put his head back into Puck's neck. "Please don't leave me."

KPKPKPKP

_["__**No one to tell us no  
Or where to go  
Or say we're only dreaming**__"]_

Stacy's eyes were closed so Kurt let the song play without singing the next part; Stacy would have made him sing the female part too but she'd never know.

A sudden hot breath against his ear let Kurt know they weren't alone and a very male voice sang the Princess' part.

"_A whole new world  
A dazzling place I never knew."_

Kurt smiled and reached up and behind, not needing to see him to be able to wrap an arm around Puck's head.

Puck gently put Stevie down next to his sister and brought an arm around Kurt's chest.

"_But when I'm way up here  
It's crystal clear  
That now i'm in a whole new world  
With you"  
_

He took Kurt's hand and brought him around so they were facing each other, Kurt leaning on the back of the couch and Puck kneeling down so they were face to face. Puck was wriggling those adorable bloody eyebrows so Kurt had no choice but to continue the duet.

"_**Now I'm in a whole new world with you**_."

Although Kurt swore singing Disney with his boyfriend would have been height of ridiculousness – it was kind of hot and definitely sexy for Puck to be singing the girl part.

"_Unbelievable sights  
Indescribable feeling  
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling  
Through an endless diamond sky"_

"A whole new world"

Puck pecked his lips and gave him that smile that said things would be getting on later.

Kurt playfully put his hand over Puck's face.

_"__**Don't you dare close your eyes**__"_

___"A hundred thousand things to see"_

_"__**Hold your breath- it gets better**__"_

Puck laughed softly at Kurt's own eyebrow wriggle as he sang 'it gets better'.

_"I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far I can't go back to where I used to be"_

"_**A whole new world**__"_

___"Every turn a surprise"_

_"__**With new horizons to pursue**__"_

_"Every moment gets better"_

_(together:) "__I'll chase them anywhere, there's time to spare, let me share this whole new world with you__"_

"_**A whole new world**__"_

___"A whole new world"_

_"__**That's where we'll be**__"_

___"That's where we'll be"_

"_**A thrilling chase**__"_

_"A wonderous place"_

_"__For you and me__"_

Puck stood and pulled Kurt up over the couch to join him. Wrapped in his boyfriend's arms Kurt wanted to giggle like a six year old, then glanced at the sleeping children and thought better of it.

"You're not meant to be lifting anything heavy," he whispered.

Puck chuckled and flexed a bicep. "Nothing the Puckosaur can't handle."

"Neanderthal," Kurt muttered with tenderness.

Shrugging Puck smiled and looked at the children. "I wore him out with Super Mario Cart, works every time."

"Disney worked for the young lady, obviously," countered Kurt.

"Works for me too."

"Great Gucci, could you be any more naff… and don't pretend you don't know what that means."

Puck hung his head but his grin remained. "I know if I quote poetry you'll forgive me anything."

"Almost anything," argued Kurt and traced a finger over Puck's surgical head scar and then lightly over his abdomen that was still healing. "No more wounds okay."

"I promise," said Puck easily. "because '_I love thee to the depth and breadth and height__; __My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight__; __For the ends of Being and ideal Grace'_."

"Now you're just being cocky," Kurt replied but knew he was blushing. "I think I really like this Noah who no longer knows what fate has in store for him."

Puck pulled him closer, if that was at all possible and brought their noses almost touching. "I know what my future is," he said huskily.

Looking into those deep brown eyes, so full of love, Kurt felt as if a weight was finally lifting and put his lips to Pucks.

It was just as well the children were sleeping.

The End.

Author's Note:

_Can I just say… Phew! and then a disappointed sigh – because its over and this has been so much fun. I am sorry to those whom I worried but it was never my intention to have Puck pass on – well not permanently. Of course putting him through the wringer – well a hurt Puck is just so huggable (and damn you Shue for getting that absolutely awesome hug from Puck in the finale). To everyone who has made it thus far, thank you for the feedback, thank you for the praise and much thanks for just indulging my imagination._

_Cheers, Ash._


End file.
